The Dating Thread 71

[TheCrow]

Welcome to all daters :)

Oneday that's super! It's nice that you'll miss each other and I know it feels like you're missing out on an opportunity to see him this weekend but hope you manage to have a lovely time all the same:-)
Hello..good for you! Pofguy is rapidly becoming a distant memory for me too..get the odd pang of anger and regret but that's more about his behaviour since I finished it with him more than anything. .
I met up with Mr Charm on Wed night, had a fabulous evening. There were definitely a few nerves initially but a few glasses of wine soon sorted those out. We've both said we'd like to see eachother again soon so I'm hoping our schedules allow for it over the weekend.

Oh and Hello, sorry I didn't respond to your question about spidey senses before. I've learnt the hard way to listen to my gut. I think my own instinct is pretty strong and I've had to fight it on a few occasions in order to keep things going with pofguy...
How much do you trust yours? I assume some people's are stronger than others.

Hi - long time lurker, ive been OLD for 8 weeks and had 7 dates, observations thus far.. the ones ive liked have been 'pretty boys' who were out to fill their boots - no commitment from them - the ones who liked me i didn't feel any attraction to, as they weren't my type.... physically.
So.... i have now got a 2nd date tonight with a man i met last Friday who is not my normal type - but we got on really well... Im trying to see that looks are not everything - you would think i had learned from by now as my exh was a good looking bloke who ended up having a crap personality..... This bloke is chatty, 6 ft 2", great physique, texts me all the time - clearly wants to see me again, but there was no WOW when i saw him - it was just pleasant.... and its been lovely all week as he's funny - we've spoken on the phone, whats app all the time, so im going tonight really hoping that i can be more mature and recognise his qualities and that he might be very good for me! Pretty boys and players are for the kids... kicking them to the kerb girlfriends.... will update,
Jarlin i suppose i'm asking the same question as you.... is it possible to have it all?!

Jarlin

glad I made you laugh. re your man - it IS possible to have it all (sex etc) but I've often found - incredible sex/chemistry etc means most other stuff is way off. Also sex can improve. I certainly wouldn't push a man away if after first DTD it was awful.

Poffed glad you've got a date with Charm - and good luck!

re the spidey senses - generally I look out for them but don't 100% trust/heed them as one can be too cautious or dependent on them - HOWEVER - with Kent Lad they were screaming at me from all directions and I almost bottled it but then he won me over... I think some people's are stronger than others but seriously next time I get spidey alert x 3 like with Kent Lad, I am SOOOOO going to heed them. little spideys - ignore!

ps Poffed (cos I almost ended it first with Kent Lad) yes it's their behaviour etc that spoils it isn't it?

Kent Lad was trying to tell me that it'd be ok if I hadn't gone his words "Crazy Cakes" after he hadn't told me he'd loved me (he'd said this for 3 months beforehand) and then was confused and didn't know how he'd feel after the adoption process finding his mum etc and wanted me to be all rainbows and sunshine about that, this was told me in hotel room.

the final straw was when he hoped I'd find peace - I texted back "don't patronise me what are you some kind of guru?" this was after he accused me of spitting venom. well I'm not bloody surprised I was spitting venom!!!

Hmm I am not sure about the finding someone who 'has it all' - I don't think anyone is perfect (least of all me ) so it's unfair to expect a man to be iyswim?

Be that as it may I think the sex is an important part of a relationship. I am not sure I would want to be with someone long term who wasn't concerned about whether I was enjoying sex and feeling 'satisfied'!! I guess Jarlin you can see how it goes and if your relationship is strong in other areas you can work on the sex side of things!!

Hi daters. My lovely friend is online dating but struggling a bit with people mucking about, not getting back to her etc. I get the impression one has to be pretty tough when OD. Think she's on POF and Match. I'm not quite ready to pursue OD but when/if I do.. Which are the best/ least awful sites? People at work joke about uniform dating.com (I wear a not very flattering uniform).

I look at my mate and hear her dating stories and think "what a nightmare" but it's probably the most realistic way for me to me someone .. Eventually ..maybe.

Any pointers for me as a "thinking about it" and her as a "being a little too eager with men she's not yet met and therefore they back off". Both of us have had crappy long relationships and just looking for company, intelligent chat etc (maybe a snog or two). Asking for the impossible? Already feel like I've talked myself out of the thought .

Decided to meet eco warrior tonight. I have no idea what to expect or how I'll feel.

Hello everyone,a very occasional poster here.

Dont - I am glad you are going on your date with eco warrior tonight. Just treat it as a nice evening and try not to have too many expectations nor put pressure on yourself before,during or after it.

Shellwe - if a woman made such a comment about me and my DS then that would be a very big red flag for me. It just sounds very disrespectful

On the question about the importance of sex with a (future) partner. It is for me quite important thing. I think that you should both be able to talk about the mismatch in sex and that your partner is willing to try and change how you are having sex or get help with it. I know somw blokes will feel very uneasy about talking about theit sexual performance,but if he really respects you,he should talk about it and listen to you.

I have had a few dates since my last posting-with two there was no spark,with the last one there was a very big spark. An intelligent,beautiful,inspiring and sensual woman. I had a great first date with her, who I will name Paddington,ended with a sensual kiss at the train station. The second date,last night, was another great evening and ended up with a non-planned night with me. The most important thing is that my gut-feeling about her is a very good one.

Good luck to all those going on dates this weekend l!

Eco warrior has cancelled. Oh well.

Sorry to hear that dont. There are two trains of thought when a relationship ends - one is to get quickly back in the dating saddle again. The other is to give dating a break for a while and instead concentrate on other things you enjoy - pampering yourself or spending evenings out and weekends away with friends or doing fun activities with your DCs.

Perhaps this second option is something to consider?

Whatever happens,keep reading your list and remember you are the prize!

I will. He's offered to rearrange next week. Not sure. I don't care anyway, it's just a distraction so might go.

Hi all! Don't know if anyone will remember me from a few threads ago (dilemma about whether to book a hotel with new guy!) - just wanted to sat that things are going well. We are now exclusive and I have got a new job- which just happens to be in his hometown! We've met each other's families. He's respectful, hard working, fun and says he is crazy about me. Trying not to get too hopeful but it's all looking good at the moment. The challenge will be the transition from long distance! We are both pretty laid back so it just might be ok!

Glad to see things looking up for many of you too!

dont sorry to hear about geeky- don't sell yourself short though and go out with a man just for a distraction. Hold out for a man who deserves you. Maybe take some time out from the dating game if you are feeling jaded about it all.

Softkitty, I hate to say it, but he may be playing a game too!!

I've just been on date number one of three this weekend.

He told me he only poo's once a week

And I needed to know that because……..

dont - my date for tomorrow evening has just cancelled...shall we go out instead? ;)

So I've gone from having a date last night that I cancelled, and tomorrow night that he cancelled, and lots of online messages/texts with a guy who I spoke to today and really didn't like the sound of on the phone...back to square one for me...

Hope everyone who does have dates lined up for this weekend has a good time x

Off to see his parents for lunch tomorrow. Really want to make a good impression.

This thread moves so fast! Good luck to anyone with dates this weekend.

Morning all, hope you are all well.
Jarlin no reply to my thanks but no thanks to mrFish, thank goodness.

Saw Mr SA last night, lovely night of sex and laid in bed till late this morning just chatting. He said last night that he is sorry he can not see me more often and said he is going to make more of an effort and who also said who knows what might happen. All without prompting, . Remember I had sent the lets be FWB last week. I am still keeping options open.

hey everyone! had a first date (bowling!!) last night and he/date was awesome!!! funny, gentleman, chatty, interested in me, interesting and a little bit nutty/excitable! great kisser I so wasn't expecting to find someone with potential on Tinder but I've got to give it a thumbs up. definitely meeting again when he's back off hols in a weeks time, flew out this morning. Tres excited right now

bumble that sounds like a fun date. Never thought of bowling, I like that.
I know nothing about Tinder, only good for people in big cities?

blossom totally recommend it! beats the interview type set up, although we did go for drinks after and had a good chat. well im near London but not in London, likewise for him. I think more and more are on it. definitely give it a whirl, its good fun and free. sounds like a lovely time with Mr SA, I love how they become more interested the less needy you are.....so predictable these men. well done blossom!

Thanks bumble you might be right about backing off thing. I got a bit fed up with just being a bit unavailable so laid cards on the table and agreed fwb, started quite a discussion on here. But proof in the pudding and see if he does try harder.
jarlin just read the end of your post and for me if I was not sexually compatible with someone it would be no no, but sounds like deserves another chance.

oh god I can't keep up with this thread! fwb...is great, pretty much what I've got with Mr Oldflame but I find it difficult not to get emotionally involved and feel used. ...if you can handle it it's wonderful. If things go well with Mr Smiley I'll have to call it a day though. that will be bitter sweet because I do care for him as a friend, but chemistry so strong couldn't meet him just as a friend. keep your options open blossom but sounds like he's fairly typical and less is more approach could work well! good luck