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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Dating Thread 71

999 replies

TheCrow · 07/03/2014 21:54

Welcome to all daters :)

OP posts:
LizzieBelle · 11/03/2014 22:39

A Fiat 500 and hes tall??? oh dear, girls car!!!

dontcallmehon22 · 11/03/2014 22:43

Basically the full story is...declarations of love, talk of babies, the future, trip to Paris, control freak tendencies, a few home truths, traumatic break up.

I am loving that I can share his flaws with you lot. I know he'd hate that Wink

dippinmytoe · 11/03/2014 22:44

don't the list is priceless. . He sounds like a knob ! Well rid :)

So I have come off pof, now on match... quite bored already

datingnewbie · 11/03/2014 22:44

well, I wasn't around for the good bits...but from that list it sounds like you are well rid!!

dontcallmehon22 · 11/03/2014 22:48

Oh and 23. His preference for very slim women. A size 12 is too large for him. He once declared: 'I don't do fat.' Nice.

datingnewbie · 11/03/2014 22:52

er....how long was this going on for?!

dontcallmehon22 · 11/03/2014 22:53

Nearly 4 months. And I adored him! What was going on!?

datingnewbie · 11/03/2014 23:00

lol....we get a bit taken in I think....I've actually been 'not in a relationship' with a guy for a few months...hoping it will turn into more..and this morning it really hit me that it won't, and he is a loser...

dontcallmehon22 · 11/03/2014 23:03

It's so easy to get sucked in. I'm busy eating chips, trying to put on some of the weight I lost with geeky, trying to please him. My family are saying I look unwell.

Geeky offered me FWB but only in hotels, not at my house as he didn't feel comfortable. I was still in love with him at the time, but I'm so glad I refused.

datingnewbie · 11/03/2014 23:08

I want some chips too please! I can't believe you lost weight for him! Go have a (or 2 or 3) krispy kremes tomorrow!

Were they nice hotels?! ;)

I would quite like to be able to have the attitude that I don't want/need a man, but actually I really would quite like to meet a nice one...

dontcallmehon22 · 11/03/2014 23:17

He'd have been expecting me to pay half. I imagine they'd have been crappy travel lodge type places. I told him I wasn't a prostitute and he wasn't that good.

datingnewbie · 11/03/2014 23:20

omg you are soooooo much better off without him!!! Enjoy your chips...I'm falling asleep...tomorrow's another day...x

dontcallmehon22 · 11/03/2014 23:25

It is indeed, goodnight Smile.

I'm feeling so much more positive today.

BeforeAndAfter · 12/03/2014 00:02

Don't

It's lovely to see you back and upbeat.

That list is priceless! 10 and 17 are gems. Think I'll see if I can improve my DP's sense of direction in a mo! Grin

Jarlin · 12/03/2014 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blossomflowers · 12/03/2014 09:34

Jarlin Glad you had a lovely day. I went on a date last night with mrfish, a def no go, I knew it but felt shoudl give the guy a chance. It was pleasant evening but he is not for me, have to find a way to let him down gently. Any suggestions?
Seeing MrSA on Friday night, I have offered him a FWB situation, which I am very happy about. Lets just see how that works out.

Santaclaws · 12/03/2014 09:44

jarlin glad you had a lovely birthday :)

I haven't spoken to him yet but will see him tonight so am going to ask about the agency thing that came up when he was on his phone, then depending on his reaction I will tackle the subject of holidays. I think if I'm happy with our conversation then I will say I want to rebook somewhere for a shorter time slightly nearer to home as the relationship is very new. I will see how he handles these things and it will give me a good insight to his personality

As regards the dating site i am not particularly bothered anymore by it. I may be wrong but my gut feeling is he is not up to anything, he's very attentive to me. Tbh I check match most days and if I get an email saying someone's viewed me I will have a look, so if he were to check up on me it would say I've logged on every day too but I've no intention of meet anyone

BeforeAndAfter · 12/03/2014 09:45

Hi Blossom

I hope you don't mind me mentioning a couple of survival points which helped me stop bloody bonding with my FBs. I banned sleepovers - I just found that my oxytocin levels would go through the roof otherwise and I'd go into bonding snuggle mode. It's a shame because you miss the morning glory but it does minimise the headfuck. I also made sure I got up straight after DTD and sorted drinks or something. Again it breaks the hormonal bonding crap.

I did try a weekend thing a couple of times but it made me feel very needy and I was on text-watch mode for days after so I stopped those.

God I sound like a callous cow but it worked for me.

Jarlin · 12/03/2014 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jarlin · 12/03/2014 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadeMan · 12/03/2014 10:06

"I'm busy eating chips..."

Yeah that's the best way to be busy, dont. Smile

Blossomflowers · 12/03/2014 10:21

Before ha ha, blimey go you. I am happy for him sleep over like the morning sex too much.
jarlin yes that sounds good, will send that later, think the poor guy will be a bit crushed.

dontcallmehon22 · 12/03/2014 10:51

Missing geeky today. Having a low point.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 12/03/2014 11:02

blossom I agree with before about ensuring lack of emotional connection is vital for a fuck buddy relationship to work. I have had 2 successful fbs. To be honest, with both of them, I didn't really like them as people, I certainly would not have wanted relationships with either, the one that went on for longest was really not a great guy at all, big player, lead girls on for sex etc. Very charming, good looking etc though, lots of fun to be around. I knew what he was and used him for it, because the sex was pretty decent. Sleepovers were only for when the visiting party was too tired/drunk to get home afterwards and it was perfectly acceptable to wake up later and toddle home without saying goodbye if the hosting party was still asleep. It really was a fuck-buddy thing, just about sex and worked really well. Personally I don't think friends-with-benefits tend to work out- with friends there are feelings involved, and the party that is more emotionally invested inevitably gets hurt.

HelloBoys · 12/03/2014 11:32

jarlin

I suppose that's the thing, there were at least 2 occasions when I was angry enough to end it or couldn't... My heart doesn't even belong to him that much. I just feel pissed off.

someone said a list - I don't think I need a list of "20 things I hate about Kent Lad" but it's worth bearing in mind. Smile

This morning PC man came round and fixed laptop so back on it now (after using phone!) and have deleted all further emails.