Do men know that we Rank them?

[ACEdge]

Is it just me or do we all rank our men?

E.g. cock-size, worst in bed??

Upnotdown ...

Do I honestly think a man hasn't chosen me or not over my breast size? Or do I think I'm oblivious to the fact that he ranks me on being good looking or not ... I know who my best looking ex was ... not sure how that's vulgar; he was average sized in the trouser department, the most passionate man I ever met so the best in bed for what's it's worth ... if that's not too vulgar for you??

Everybody ranks everybody constantly, it's human nature - but it's mainly done at a subconscious level. IMO the attempts to do conscious ranking by the OP are largely bollocks.

(do you weigh those btw OP?)

It isn't really strange that you, who does it, would have friends who also did it and that I, who doesn't, has friends who don't.

I wouldn't be friends with someone who spoke disrespectfully about their sexual partners or who was an objectifier. I'm not sure people who thought like that would be interested in being friends with me either.

Of course I do discuss sex with friends often in the context of the rest of the relationship mostly.

Women do this?

Saskia ... nto sure why you've taken this quite so personally.

Do you not know who the best guy/girl is that you kissed? Have you never thought he / she was the worst in bed EVER?

Have you never discussed this with friends? However do you normalise or know?

Of course I love updating my spreadsheet, first thing I do when I've kissed a new boy! Nothing to do with my memory ... I won't stick my tongue out! ;-)

But to do ranking you have to do comparison. I don't approach relationships in that way at all. I'm quite judgement obviously but my standard approach is not one of constantly being open to a relationship with anyone around but of being happy being single unless I meet someone I am particularly interested in. I don't like and can't stick an awful lot of people.

LazyJaney ... please help me understand more .. "weigh these" as in the pro's an cons ... or literally weigh???

PrincessS ... no it appears most do not do this ... or don't admit to it at least ... so worry not, you're in the female above 12/14 camp!

Well don; I'll try out again next year ;-)

I haven't taken it personally, I'm bored waiting for a lift and you're entertaining. Although, maybe not in the way you intended to be.

I don't think many men do this either tbh...

Offred ... I love your honesty.

I don't have this calculated system e.g he must be 6inch + and last at least 90 minutes etc... I just know what I like and what I've 'compared' as we ALL do as you say too.

I don't approach my relationships this way I have just reflected this way; usually to see the light of the mess.

Men do it all the TIME - but I thought women did too...

"Do you not know who the best guy/girl is that you kissed? Have you never thought he / she was the worst in bed EVER?

Have you never discussed this with friends? However do you normalise or know?"

Oh and no to all your questions. I can't even remember all the people I've kissed, and I don't seek to normalise stuff. because one person's idea of normal is some else's utter depravity.

Saskia ... I aim to be entertaining ;-) pleased to help!

I have neither the time or inclination to rank my sexual partners. I suppose I can remember some being good/poor encounters (or sexual relationships if more than once) but I'm not sure that's the same as ranking....deciding who gets what spot! I would be really worried if any man or woman I knew (and respected) did this.

Do you drink Lambrini when you're 'bantering' with 'the girls'?

No man I know does this and I think would be a bit disgusted at the thought of it because it is so disrespectful and objectifying.

I didn't say we all compared, I said I don't, because like dahlen I don't think you can make comparisons if what you are interested in is the actual person rather than superficial things like cock size and toilet seats.

Or rather when men do start to rank women (and I remember a few from my youth) then they were the exact people I wanted to avoid because well.... I would prefer to be seen as more than a pile of meat to be evaluated against criteria.
That also means that I would never do that to men either.

I don't think it is bad to have superficial relationships providing you aren't using someone who wants more but I do think it is bad to reduce the person to the size of their cock/sexual performance by comparing and ranking them.

Offred ... you don't think men do this??

I can honestly say all my male friends rank the ladies ... numerous occasions they've said ... the most amazing woman I ever slept with ... I'd ask why, to learn, to know ... some are rude and crude, some are grateful and reflective ... but men in my experience definitely rank.

One difference I find is that my friends as I have CodeNames for our men, we NEVER say his name ... and when we return to an update about them they'll say who ScarfMan??? Codenames seem alien to my male friends

Dirtybadge ... what about for humour, you know banter on a night out?

You honestly don't know who just really did it for you; more than anyone? Your own private No1?

teaand ... yes its always Lambrini - is there another kind of drink worth ranking to??? ;-)

So, you can't believe that the rest of the world thinks differently to your friendship group and you think because all your friends think the same way, everyone else must? That's quite blinkered!

No, none of the people I know, whether they have casual sex/superficial relationships or not would do this.

How on earth do you build a relationship on that???
So you are with X because ... she is the best in bed/he has the biggest penis/she has the nicest boobs...
And then 1, 2, 5 years down the line and ...she has depression and doesn't want sex/he has some erectile dysfunction/her boobs have changed because of pg and what do you then? Dump them because they aren't top of the list anymore?

"Do you drink Lambrini when you're 'bantering' with 'the girls'?"

Pints of Olde Hairy Trucker if you ask me...

"Banter" that word fills me with dread

You're making it worse with that point too because you're making it seem like you think it is ok not only to reduce people to objects but to laugh at them in public...