Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

Any cooking chocolate? Sometimes I find some of that hidden somewhere when desperate…….

No cooking chocolate random however jar of nutella + spoon. Sorted

That, Morrigu, is my ALL TIME favourite thing; you are a woman after my own heart!

Someone asked me the other day what I put Nutella on. I thought that was an extremely strange question…. surely all you need is a spoon and a sofa, right?

hi all. waves tiredly. I am exhausted. Really exhausted. but sober. am thankful for that; and shit as this week has been it would have been worse drunk or with a hangover

x

So so pleased sorcha xx not that you're exhausted of course, but that you stayed sober. Hardest thing to so when you feel so emotionally awful, really really proud of you. S x

Hoping you are having a better day today, Sorcha. Sun shining here; blimey what a difference that makes!

I am really really struggling today. I worked this morning with a member of staff - as in I am her manager, and I have to say I like her a lot but she decided to tell me what a hopeless manager i have been lately - possibly because I have had a fucking hideous traumatic experience in hospital and thinking about it went back too early, but felt I had too as I knew they were so busy in other work news an other staff member is leaving which is causing lots more problems for me to sort out, not cross with her but it:s very stressful. Got home in tears feeling hopeless, and the DC are just CONSTANTLY on my case. I am sick sick sick of life. No-one at work I can talk to as it's a charity and the trustee board are pretty in effective when it comes to dealing with things like this. I just want to leave, flymaway and drink myself stupid :(

Hope you are ok mrssippie. That all sounds horribly stressful. Don't blame yoh for wanting a drink, but remember it will omly provide false relief. It's very cruel in that way. X

Hugs Sippie. I hope you can have a relaxing day tomorrow. Can you farm the kids out anywhere ?

Hello MrsS. Hope you are feeling less hideous today. Wonder if you managed to get some peace and respite from DCs. Often just a little bit of time 'off'/alone works wonders, I find. How old are your DCs?

Hi all, sorry I didn't come back.
Feel better now and didn't succumb to drinking which is a wonder!! I know it isn't me and my management and I have to believe in myself

The children managed to calm down a bit. Have a dd of 23 ( who doesn't live at home but is having a bit of a rough time atm... another story there!) ds of 14 and dd2 is 8 - she is very clingy and mummy-ish at the moment. I realised yesterday it may be because I was in hospital and it scared her. For those who don't know (without boring you too much ) I had an operation which went well, but a week later awful complications happened and I had to go back and be attached to drips and all sorts for several days. She had no idea I was in - Dh came along to, as he thought, pick me up from a and e with dd to find me in a hospital bed looking like death attached to said drips and seriously unwell! It maybe really worried her but she's said nothing. I think I will have a little casual chat with her about it.

So, today, back at work, had a long talk with someone who works I the same building (but not for the same charity) whi has given me some good 'tools' and hopefully I can get through this. Just was really upset.

Thank you.

I hope everyone is ok. Spring is a bit dangerous, nice warm (!) evenings in pub gardens looming :( We must all share our strategies

Have a lovely Monday x

Thank you for the update, MrS and really glad you are feeling brighter today.

Can totally understand your DD being clingy given your hospital experience. Such a primal thing isn't it, being scared that your mother won't be there to look after you. I remember being terrified my mother would die when I was little because she smoked. And it was just me and her so especially scary idea.

Agree about warm summer evenings. Mind flits to thoughts of white wine and rose. I tend to avoid going to/walking past pubs where possible (obviously not always poss). Sounds a bit miserable, but why rub our noses in it? Restaurants (so includes decent gastro pubs) somehow not so bad. I think the things that I really hate is being somewhere where the only real 'point' is to drink. Eg a pub. At least in a restaurant the MEAL is the focus.

Not sure if that's much of a strategy, but still…

The other thing is being really focused on exercise. When you have just been for a run, for instance, a drink doesn't really appeal in the same way.

Not that I can do that at the moment as injured following stupid twisting of foot before Christmas. Foot still screwed and fear I will need an operation so months more where i can't exercise (and can just stuff myself with carbs/chocolate instead). Hmm.

Can I join? I'm so tired of this roller coaster. I'm dying of a hangover and I'm so ashamed of myself. I'm too sick to go to DS's parents evening so DH will have to go alone.
I need to stop drinking. I feel like I could lose everything. I've tried before but it never lasts.

Of course Mistress. We've all been there! All we can do is share what works - it is bloody hard and I know that most of us on this thread have tried loads of times too.

I hope you start to feel better.

Hello Mistress. Welcome!

I remember like it was only yesterday having to leave a school open day because I was about to throw up with a hangover. MASSIVE shame. And was not a one off…. Turned up to man school Christmas Fair stall in dreadful state and had to run to bathrooms at one point. Truly pathetic.

All I can say is that I haven't had a drink for just over 2 years and life is IMMEASURABLY better for it. If I can do it anyone can…. Was a really bad case.

You are in the right place! Would also strongly recommend AA if you can get to a meeting. It woke me up to the fact that I had a major problem and that there was a solution.

Sending you a huge hug.

I used to turn up to pick dd1 from school every single day for about 3 years having been drinking from 9.30 am. I figured if I didn't start till after I'd dropped her off at school it was somehow ok. obviously I was performing at a 'normal' level. My body could only work in constantly full of alcohol mode. Awful, absolutely awful :( And clearly no-body knew I was drinking because I drank from a mug !!!

I did some dreadful things. I've been on this thread since it started and still am too ashamed to be totally honest.

I drank from a mug too. My low-point was putting wine into a coffee cup and drinking it in the car. As I drove my DD to a birthday party. In the afternoon.

Profound shame.

DH still has no idea I ever did that and I am horrified to admit it even to myself.

Just thinking that if it helps anyone else on this thread to hear then it's worth it.

The RELIEF of not being 'ruled' by King Alcohol is so huge. I used to think about drinking ALL the time.

Waking up feeling like death - throwing up - vowing not to do it again.
Making it through until after lunch and then feeling marginally more human.
Having an internal battle on the way home to work 'shall I stop by the off-license or not???'
Invariably giving in and buying more alcohol.
Getting hammered again.

Repeat on a loop for years and years and years.

Hi everyone,

Sorry havent been on this thread for ages but have caught up now and well done to all for not drinking, especially Sippie and Sorcha You have both come such a long way since the beginning of these threads.
I am ok but have had a few things going on hence the absence....I am being made redundant but now I have a date I have got my head around it and am ok. Actually looking at it as a challenge. Back in the drinking days I would have been on a bender for days.....and days....

All I know is that whatever happens in life be it good or bad there is nothing that would be made better by taking a drink, well for this alcoholic anyway

Thank you for your kindness. I'm still feeling awful. I should probably have some food. Haven't eaten in over 24 hours. I can hear DH sorting the DC out while I languish up here. He can't even look at me. I hate myself. I know I'll feel really depressed until about Saturday when the fog will start to lift. Alcohol is so bad for me. But I'm so scared that I'm going to miss out without it. Can't envision holidays, hen dos that I've got coming up without it. How do you cope?

I soooo feel for you - that feeling knowing that you are going to feel awful for a few days. I guess all I can say is that you just have to get through it and make yourself look at the other end.
I know that isn't going to help at all but we honestly have ALL been there! Hold on, eat whatever you fancy and drink some lovely soft drinks.
Hope I don't sound patronising - it's horrible but you can do it!

And don't even think about the future, concentrate on the next few days.

We have ALL been there.

But seriously - take a look at where you are now: Upstairs in bed hiding from your husband and children because of the state you are in. Feeling like death. The shame.

Does it look like something you would miss?

Just like MrsS I hope I don't sound patronising. God knows, I was a shocking drinker and totally know where you are coming from so do hope I don't sound smug on any level.

But if you are 'one of us', I suspect the reality is that you can't have a nice, social drink. I miss that - but the ability to 'have a laugh' in a half-way ok fashion left me years ago. I miss what I was able to be like a decade or more ago. The reality is - that isn't an option for me anymore. If I drink, it all goes pear-shaped.

So - assuming you are the same - you have nothing to 'miss'. Also, totally agree with MrS, if you can - try not to project and look into the future. Will my life be boring and empty without booze etc. Just try not to drink one day at a time. SO much easier to manage. I still don't tell myself I will never drink again and it's been over 2 years.

Hen dos are tricky. I haven't had to go on one since I got sober (am too old!!), but if you have one coming up I'd seriously think about making some excuse and not going. Holidays without booze are WONDERFUL. You actually notice and enjoy where you are, don't feel like death, enjoy the company of DCs rather than finding them irritants that get in the way of your drinking. Read books, enjoy local food/sights. Etc.

I promise. it's about a billion times better than how you are feeling now.

One step at a time. We are all 100% behind you. Be kind to yourself xx

Thank you thank you. I'm back in bed with my kindle. I have some excellent books about kicking alcohol that I'm going to reread. Poor DS is not well; he fell asleep at school and had to be woken at home time. I blame myself; we were out yesterday until late. I was too busy throwing red wine down my neck to consider DCs and their bedtimes. Awful. It's getting to the point now when DS (6) is going to work out that I'm not just 'poorly' when I'm hungover, and he will soon start recognising my behaviour when I'm drunk. I can't bear the thought of hurting, or embarrassing him, or letting him down. That's why it has to stop now.
I will come back each day to check in. Thank you again. You've made me feel I'm worth saving.

Of course you are worth it Mistress !

My DS was 7 when I stopped. He had started to work it out and it was a source of massive shame for me. He had overheard DH shouting at me for being drunk one night and had written 'Mummy drunk' on a piece of paper and stuck it on his wall by his bed. When I saw it it was like a knife through my heart. Shame doesn't even come close.

He is now 9 and - thank God - hasn't mentioned any of that for a while. He did keep referring to me being 'drunk' for about a year afterwards, but think (pray) he no longer remembers.

DD is younger so I think I am safe on that score.

Wonder where you live? If you are anywhere near me and wanted to I'd be more than happy to take you along to an AA meeting. I found them a real life line at the beginning. Trying to sort myself out on my own/by my own will-power had been a total failure time after time. Just a thought.

Have a good night's sleep and you will wake up tomorrow feeling so much better.

You aren't on your own

Mistress I put off stopping drinking for a looong time as I was frightened of what I would 'miss out on'. There was always a birthday or event or Christmas around the corner. Honestly I couldn't envisage the rest of my life without alcohol so now I just don't think about it. There's today and who knows what tomorrow brings but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

My birthday is this month and I feel secure in the knowledge that I won't drink, unusual in that I'm usually pissed by about lunchtime on my birthday. I couldn't have imagined that in October when I started on this thread. I have a fair amount of trepidation about my own holidays but I'll see how it goes until then.

My own ds is 6 and is starting to notice drinking around him now as he tells me about his dad, my ex.