Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

Last night I got a bottle of sav blanc out of the fridge, I got my favourite glass from the cupboard, I put them beside me as I sat on the sofa and I thought, fuck it. I really REALLY want a drink, It will be only today; kids are in bed; dh is not there (probably why I am so wobbly - relationship is the pits at the moment); I'm F*CKING stressed with intractable problems,I deserve it; Ive been 'good ' for ages..... yada yada yada

I watched some crap TV and dragged myself off to bed at 10.30. Bottle un-opended. But it's in the fridge and I am seriously scared I am going to all off today ...

Morning Sorcha. Poor you - sounds like you are having a really tough time.

BUT - you didn't pick up. Which is brilliant news. And today is a new day, sun is shining (where I am anyway) and you KNOW that no problem is made better by a drink. You know that. AND you know where that first drink will take you. That bottle will be empty - and the rest. Think how this morning would have been with DCs if you had opened that bottle…..

How about chucking the bottle? At least don't leave it winking at you in the fridge…

Really sorry to hear things are so bad with your DH and other stuff challenging too. Is there anything you can do to be kind to yourself today - even if it's a bracing walk in the sunshine?

You aren't alone! Thinking of you and sending strength...

fall off today

You went as far as putting it right next to you and didn't do it!!! That is amazing.

Think how bloody awful you would be feeling now. How bloody awful you would feel tomorrow.

It's easy to drink to make problems 'go away' but we know they don't, that it's an illusion.

I have faith in you - you're my day counter!!

Stay with it x

Sorcha you didn't have that drink. Bloody well done. I dunno go for a massage, cry, scream, taking it out on a punchbag - anything other than drink. You will feel shitty tomorrow and remember all the guilt and shame that comes along with drinking. You have kicked ass at this so you know you can do it!!

I'm just so pissed off. I'm thinking 'whats the point' One of my main motivators to stop drinking was to improve my relationship. You know. not yell at him when I was cross, not fall asleep half way through the evening - be 'there' emotionally.

In reality I feel steamingly angry with him. I feel like the 'emotional growth' I have precipitated by not drinking my feelings away, has exacerbated the problems in our relationship. I'm not saying this is bad exactly, but the stress is difficult to say the least - and another relationship breakdown is devastating to contemplate.

I know drinking will solve NOTHING; but just being uncsonscious right now is a very attractive and appealing prospect

When I feel like that - which is fairly frequently - I try to go to bed super early. As in, right after DCs. Safe form of unconsciousness/switching off.

And I think I know what you mean about the emotional growth almost making things worse; I think the greater clarity one can find through not drinking highlights the lack of clarity on the part of one's partner. not meaning that in foul,judgemental way, but I often wish DH had a bit more 'AA wisdom/serenity/tolerance. Obviously it would be hugely irritating if I ever said that to him - unfair too. But I think sometimes the fact that you are changing and they aren't can be very tough indeed.

Thinking of you.

I wish you loved near me - I'm going for a run now - you could forge ahead laughing at me !!!

Lived obviously!

How are you getting on Sorcha?

Ballroom btw. Not trying to confuddle you all with yet another nc but I've had that one for years. Think it's time to change and let it drop out as I know how easy it is to come across someone you know on here from personal experience.

Can I sort of join in please?

I have a question: how do you tackle social events where everyone else is drinking and trying to encourage you to have a glass of whatever? What do you say? What do you drink instead? I dislike very sweet drinks and find more than one Orange juice just too sickly. My favourite drink is water but it feels so boring to ask for that, and spoils the atmosphere.

I find dinner parties difficult - it always seems polite to take a nice bottle of wine or champagne and I don't want to be the cheapskate who doesn't take a bottle, so I do, but then sometimes there is no alternative drink offered. I have tried taking along my own bottle of Ame or "Feelgood" as well as the wine but feel rather self conscious at the idea of being at someone else's house drinking from my own personal bottle.

(BTW it's really medical reasons that I can't drink much alcohol in general and wine in particular (phosphate/potassium levels - can't remember which), so should I just say that? It feels uncomfortable to bring up medical issues at a party!!)

Does anyone have any strategies?

Hi there prof. I haven't really been anywhere difficult yet (saddo!) but the couple of occasions I've been where people are drinking, I've just asked for a soft drink - also hate sweet drinks really, so try to have maybe grapefruit juice and sparkling water, or even coffee . If anyone asks I just say 'I've stopped drinking'! And stare menacingly

I think you're ok to just say something about having being on medication maybe? To be honest, I don't really give a monkeys what people think anymore and the main reaction tends to be 'well done! I couldn't do that!'

And do take your own drinks. Drinkers will be relieved they don't have to share their alcohol with an extra person

Hello Prof. I rather envy you being able to say (truthfully) that you aren't drinking for a medical reason. I loathe people giving me that 'look' as if to say - 'WHY aren't you drinking….. ? Are you an alcoholic or something????'. I am too proud and pathetic to admit it, so try to fudge the issue claiming detoxing/feel better without it etc.

Agree about horrid sweet juices. My favourite is tonic. Ideally with a squeeze of lime. Most places/homes have it too.

Hi, may I join you please?

After 25 years of wine daily sometimes all day, I recently managed 2 months of clear headed, wonderful drunk free existence. 2 weeks ago I idiotically tested the waters ( hey, look at me im moderating!) and I'm now creeping back to where I was, sadly. I want to return to total abstinence and to get my bloaty fat face back down again, not to mention Nxiety levels. I loved being DRY and felt like Wonder Woman, so what the hell is wrong with me?!?
Silly bloody booze, it's like the story of the Emperors New Clothes....just a bullshit illusion.
Good luck every one!
Today is the first day of the rest of my booze free life and I'm feeling great already!

Hey, I've just invented a new word!
Nxiety = Drink related anxiety. Like it

welcome baffle Me and sippie are 121 days sober ... and (for me) much better for it.

I was getting through 70 -80 units a week - and the anxiety /health effects/blackouts etc were getting worse.

this thread has been a wonderful support to me

Nxiety is a fabulous word I have done the same in the past, weeks, months of feeling fabulous and one slip back to insanity :( Same with smoking to be honest. This time I haven't had a cigarette for 9 months and am craving one sooo badly! Too many slips though so resisting.

Welcome along! Tell us your favourite soft drink as we all like to think of new ideas !

Thanks everyone. I have a big birthday this weekend and am celebrating it with brunch with the family and then a birthday tea (sandwiches, cake, biscuits - yum) for my friends - they can have a glass of champagne but I will be happy with the tea

I have also tried accepting the glass of wine to be sociable and then 'losing' the glass somewhere and hoping that noone helpful returns it to me.

Thank you and high fives to you 2 for 121 days!
Total respect!

My fave drink is a tiny splash of cranberry topped up with sparkly water in a favourite wine glass ( as someone once said- "I may not suffer from alcohol withdrawal but I have no intention of suffering from stem withdrawl").

Also when someone questions my non alcoholic drink of choice whilst out socialising I merely smile a fractious smile and state ' I feel like shit when I drink' Case closed.

Good luck everyone!

I meant GRACIOUS not fractious!!

Hi BaffleBall. Welcome!

'I feel like shit when I drink'. Bloody brilliant! I will be adopting that…. I tend to struggle and waffle and say stupid apologetic things like 'I'm really boring - can I have something soft?'.

I am just over 2 yrs sober. Do AA too which I find useful. I shudder to think how many units I was getting through a week. A couple of bottles of wine a night…. So that makes what - 90ish? FUCK!

So bloody relieved not to be living that way…..

Thanks for the kind welcome random!

You are inspiration indeed!
I cannot wait to get this in the bag,I've been titting around for 2 weeks now. Time to get serious!
All the best to all!
X

Welcome to the new folks.

Thanks baffle that is a good reminder to me as I hit the two month mark tomorrow not to get sucked in by the I can do moderation now thoughts that have flitted through my mind.

Have barely thought about drinking at all lately but today it has hit me all sparked off by thinking about making a steak and ale pie of all things. I don't even like ale to drink fgs. Blaming seriously bad pmt and nicotine withdrawal and I don't even have one scrap of chocolate in the house to help. Woe is me.