Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

HI there

I have been googling to find a PDF of it but there doesn't seem to be one and it would be illegal anyway!

I got it from amazon for £3 and have a kindle app on my phone is anything like that an option for you?

Morning! Welcome spankingnewme. I don't have the Allan Carr book but like Love I am getting used copies off Amazon. I don't have a kindle, but I got a used Jason Vale for a bit over £2 I think. then i paid the same again for postage!

My local library- reasonably biggish..... it serves a small town- has an 'addiction section', but also nothing (on the shelves at least) on alcohol addiction- it is all smoking. Very little on drug addiction at all (except painkillers) either now I come to think of it. Hmmmm.

I don't like Allen Carr or Jason Vale, honestly. But I guess it depends on what sort of thing you're looking for. Are you looking for how-to books? Or memoirs? Or a community of people trying to get sober?

I have not read Allan carr, but I believe jason vale has a similar approach. I like the drumming in that alcohol is a poison and we have all been conned, but it is a bit pom pom shaking for me. ( have heard very good reports of 'Drink: A woman's intimate relationship with alcohol' so have just ordered that on Amazon. Has anyone read it? )

Maybe we should start a Staying DRY bookclub. :)

On another note. - Just to share- i joined this thread March 17. I now have £31 in my not drinking jar. So, yes have had many slips, but that is 31 days of not drinking. I am proud of that!!!! My aim is to get through all of May without a single slip. One thing I have learned from the slips- it's never worth it.

My friend is putting pressure on me to drink at her hen weekend (next week). Can you believe it? It's not making me wobbly; it's making me angry. I hate this culture of bully drinking we have. Why do other people have such a problem with others not drinking? They wouldn't be forcing cigarettes on me if is gone 2 months without.

Rant over. As you were.

It is because people not drinking throws your own drinking to the forefront of their mind, I think. I suspect the only people who really try and force you to drink are secretly worried about their own drinking. Or there is a fear that you will be 'boring'. (More likely to be bored than boring I think.... when everyone around you is drunk it is bloody tedious).

I have found though, that if you drink something that superficially looks like a 'real drink' (Becks blue, a glass of tonic water with a swizzle stick in it) then people notice or care less.

Totally bizarre really.

that was 'throws THEIR own drinking to the forefront of their mind' I mean. Must. Edit. Before. Posting.

Totally agree that people who get all hung up about others not drinking typically have an issue of their own. I ALWAYS noticed how much others drank - mainly because I was trying to work out where I was relative to them - whether it would be 'ok' to have another etc. Normal 'civilians' don't really notice or care.

So glad that you are angry rather than wobbly, Mistress. And totally agree about the cigarettes analogy. Weird, isn't it?

One other thing I find a massive relief (along with not waking up feeling like death, obviously) is not having to avert my gaze from the posters warning about health risks from drinking too much. There was a terrible one of a woman a couple of years ago showing damage to heart etc from excessive drinking and I used to HATE seeing it on the way to taking kids to school. Plus all the stats about breast cancer risk increasing by a multiple of something scary if you have more than 6 units a week etc. 6 units A WEEK?! Who are these freaks…..

Agree. When I was out on Tuesday one friend got all excited about my 50th Birthday but then went 'oh god, you won't drink' and looked really fed up. She wasn't consciously being horrible but definitely felt that we wouldn't have a good time without getting drunk.

Hi All,

I don't post often but since it is the 1st of the month I can officially say I am now 4 months booze free! Not one drop has touched my lips since NYE.

And I do plan to complete the year. It is not too hard to imagine. It is pretty rare now that I get a longing for a glass of wine and the habit is well and truly broken.

Stopping drinking means I have very nearly quit smoking too. Probably have one every week or so then think what did I do that for I feel awful! So will stop that entirely soon!

I often find it useful to look at young children and how joyful they are able to be without any artificial stimulant. Proves (when I am having moments of weakness) that it is perfectly possible to laugh and have wild, raucous fun without booze.

Definitely agree with the looking at children thing! And nikki - YAY!!!!

Well done nikki!!!

That's so true merce. I love the zest for life that kids have. Everything is full-throttle why walk when you can run, although I'm sorry but I can't see the utter hiliarity in bums and wind that sends my 6yo into kinks at the mere mention of the words

Oh life is still pretty mundane tortoise. Sounds cheesy but I started to keep a log of one thing every day that made me happy/I was thankful for. Maybe small things like a new bunch of flowers or one of the kids laughing at something stupid but it's started to change my focus to all the positives that are out there.

Life is mundane, sadly. It just is. People who believe in an 'alcoholic personality' will say that it's classic of the boozer to seek excitement and 'more' all the time. I think that's just the human condition, but what would I know really.

Glad to know we're not the only ones dealing with bodily function humour. My two year old likes to fake-belch at the breakfast table at the moment. "DD2!" I say, although obviously I use her name "What do we say when we burp?"
"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!"

I went wrong somewhere, I know it.

Morning.

Well donenikki. Giving up two habits is pretty amazing!

On the seeking of more and more exciting things.... yes, I had my first few weeks of euphoria at not drinking, and then when that wore off thought 'is that it? Is that all there is?'

I went to the GP yesterday as needed to get prescription renewals also, and mentioned I have had bad headaches for a few weeks now. He has diagnosed tension headaches and suggested that I 'make time each night to have a nice glass of wine and relax'. I just laughed- and have not been tempted either. But it made me think how GPs used to recommend smoking for relaxation decades ago too.

Hi all, what an amazing bunch we are ! im so glad to be part of such a strong and supportive community.

I'm 6 months and 4 days in !. I didn't tell anyone at the beginning - only my partner because I needed his support. In the last couple of weeks I have told my brother and his wife who were astonished but supportive, my mother; who nearly fell off her chair with relief (but hadn't NOTICED! ); and a very close friend to who I had to make a confessions about something I had done at her house when I had last been (very) pissed there.

I would be a bit wary of being so honest oversharing GayByrne; Not everyone is as well meaning as they seem, and some people are frankly malicious ( I have found this out recently over something quite different and it has really shaken me) Why you don't drink is no-ones business but your own, and tales of binging etc can be used against you. Just be careful

I'm currently quite unwell with a major mixed anxiety /depressive episode, and not working. I know it will pass, I am much better than a month ago, but I'm quite low and anxious still. The temptation to seek a bit of oblivion has been quite strong, but I know it will solve nothing. So I'm sticking to my bottle green and fizzy water and plodding on.

Good morning all

I know what you mean about 'oversharing' sorcha, as I said the people who knew me before are just really pleased I'm ok now, and i can (almost) laugh at my hideous behaviour (well some of it :( ) New people I just say I don't drink, as I get to know them I may add 'oh, I'm terrible when i drink, so it's best that I don't' etc.

Went to the doctor yesterday about my leg. new doctor, din't like her very much to be honest, she was only about 20 (!) and a bit dismissive. She says it's a muscle strain and gave me some super doopah pain killer. They seem to be working as I ran 7K last night (despite the last two being a bit painful) This morning I am suffering though. Maybe best to give it another rest today.

Housework day today. I love it! No one in the house, JK on the tellybox, and the polish out

Have a great one x

www.amazon.co.uk/Dead-Man-Running-Alcohol-Atacama/dp/1907294341/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399014170&sr=1-10&keywords=alcohol

Hi Biggles thought you might be interested in this book? :)

(looks a bit bleak, but the running bit sounded interesting!)

ooh, thank you

Hi kids. Well done all you amazing people who have stayed clean and dry for all those months.
I am not doing so good. It's like, I tried, I failed, and I have been drinking more than before.
Maybe it's like dieting; the minute you start thinking about it, you want to do it more. I read a diet book once that said that as soon as you tell yourself you can't have something, you feel either deprived, or rebellious. I think I have gone the rebellious route, and my inner rebel is saying "can't stop meeeee!" I have gone from 4 bottles a week, to 6.

I now KNOW i have to stop, so I am drinking as much as possible NOW.
God, that makes no sense.

I think the thing scaring me is that I don't want to live the rest of my life wanting something I can't have. I guess that's where the Alan Carr approach appeals to me, in that, if you can convince yourself that you don't miss it, or enjoy it, you will not have to struggle to not do it.
It's not that I don't know my whole life will be better when I stop, it's just that I can't bear the idea of having cravings forever.

The other thing I felt when I tried to quit, was the thoughts, like maggots eating my braaaiiin, just torturing me, and no way to drown them.
I have so many regrets. I want to be one of those people who is happy-go-lucky, and positive. But I'm just not. I feel bitter and twisted and sad, and while wine doesn't make it better, it stops the thoughts.

The last thing is, that I have 5 chapters of a book written, which I started (don't laugh) 3 years ago. I only write when I am alone and not hungover, so, being a wine sodden lone parent, progress has been slow... If I was never hungover I might actually finish the damn thing.
I have been put in touch with a decent agent, and she is encouraging, and WAITING for the rest of my novel.
Which I will get on with...tomorrow.

Please someone slap me and tell me to pull myself together.

Sunday you only get a slap for saying you are weak and pathetic. :) You are not.This is a drug. Of course you have cravings, that's what this stupid drug does to us. That is not you being weak. Also it is a drug that society convinces us that to be a mature, cosmopolitan adult, that we need. We apparently need t to relax, enjoy life etc.

I understand about drinking as much as you can now. Last year I tried (briefly) to be alcohol-free every second day. It was a nightmare as it mean i drank much much more on the days I was 'on'.

What are the thoughts that are eating into you?Can you tell us? Why are you sad, can we help? Or at least we can listen.

That is fantastic about the book. :) That is such a huge thing!

You are not weak at all. You know you have a problem but you're scared of letting go. We've all been there, it's scary and difficult and horrible and all those things (cheery , me!!) But it can be done. I drank like a complete idiot for 30 years (probably more actually) and was terrified of getting rid of it.

Writing a book? Bloody hell, that's an achievement in itself. You can focus on that maybe? Tell yourself that not drinking will magic you into J K Rowling

Seriously, I'm not good at telling people what they should do,it's got to be up to you, but stay here and just keep going. This group have really helped me stay on the straight and narrow, and we'll do what we can xx

I think the fear of WANTING to drink every day and having to deny ourselves has been a powerful motivator to keep many of us drinking long after we knew deep inside that we wanted to stop /needed to stop.

I will tell you , honestly Sunday that 95% of the time now i do NOT WANT TO DRINK. I just don't. I actively turn it down. I don't want it. I know I cant handle it and I will get pissed/do something stupid/ be hungover. And maybe next time I wont be able to stop.

Yes I occasionally feel like a drink. And very occasionally - perhaps once a fortnight I REALLY want a drink. But I can resist because I know its a passing craving and I will get over it.

And If I can do this so can you. Honestly I never missed a chance to drink. whenever I could I was drinking, as much and as often as possible. For >25 years I had been a very heavy drinker. I could not have imagined I would ever be sitting at home on a Friday evening and NOT drinking. But I am and I am not even thinking about it (until I started writing this)

There are many benefits to being dry; one of the biggest for me is the NOT thinking about alcohol such a lot of the time.Planning drinking , is there enough, fretting about how much I was drinking, did I smell of alcohol, could I drive, was I damaging my health etc etc etc. And the first few days were hard; but after that NOT drinking has been a fu*k of a lot easier than being me, drinking.

keep going

Sorcha x

Agree sorcha. Like, tonight I would love a drink. But I wont have one. And I was always a huge drinker, I think people who knew me in the past would struggle to believe I havent touched it in 7 months. I do wobble, and it is fleetingly difficult, but so much easier to abstain completely. It makes you see yourself and your life in the cold light of day and that is hard. But it is a new start and I swear, life is so much better now. I dont humiliate myself on a regular basis. I dont get pissed around my pre school dc. I dont suffer hangovers or lose whole evenings. I cant go back to that, and I can not moderate. So this is it. This is my choice.