Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

Everyone - thank you for your good wishes!!

I am free!!! Still tire easily, and still have a bad cough, but my asthma has retreated back into it's hidey-hole and long may it stay there!

So good to be home, and strangely enough, having had this scare feel like I should look after myself more, which ties in nicely with the AF life!

For anyone in the 'caring' professions, can I just thank you for all you do. The care I received from start to finish has been wonderful x

Hello again,

Checking in. Still booze free. I actually went caffeine free at the same time as going dry as I noticed I was in a vicious circle of getting wired on caffeine then needing drink to unwind. Stupidly yesterday I had an espresso after a family meal.I was awake until 4.30am, then up at 7.30am. I have felt horrible all day, exhausted, grumpy, look like shit, shouting at dh and dc, anxious worried and depressed - and so very very glad I dont drink anymore and have this as a regular occurence.

Dh is now supporting me to watch what I eat. As someone said upthread, it shouldnt be a surprise that someone who has problems with moderation in one aspect of life should lack control in others. Now we know we can exert some control over alcohol, so technically we should be able to manage the same over other things.

I am using the same techniques as avoiding drinking, easier to say no quickly than to indulge and then try to stop.

My finances are also in a dire mess. Loads of debt. Same thing again. No self control and no damn given about consequences. I am trying to tackle that too, but slowly as I cant fix everything at once.

Thanks for all the support on the thread you ladies are great. X

Evening kids,

glad to see we're all doing well with the AF aim.

sippie you've had a tough old time of late. I don't know the back story with your mam, or really have any advice as to what to do to deal with her and her shit (I don't actually think you're asking for advice, rather enjoying letting off some steam to us?)...anyway, I can well imagine this has the potential to come together in some sort of perfect shit-storm and a drink looks likely. Be strong, let's not start you counting the days again, eh? Imagine having to deal with this drama with a fucking hangover?!!! Urgh, that would be enough to keep me straight!!

rachel welcome home x

merce 2 years...omg, am in awe. I want to BE you!

nochips How are you feeling with regards to being AF now? It sounds like you're a little stressed at the mo! You'll have to let me know how the book is going, it sounds fab.

As for me, all is good. I am still AF despite being in a lovely Greek restaurant the other night with a friend where a glass of cold, crisp dry white wine was calling for me...God it was tempting, but I wasn't actually close to buying it. Then today a BBQ with some great friends. I was driving so it wouldn't have been a getting sloshed sitch, however, bearing in mind I'm in abstinence mode, the small glass of bubbles to celebrate a birthday was a no-no from me too. Abstinence is the way forward. It. Just. Is.

I cannot moderate. I do not need this drug to be BETTER. I am good enough without it. Life is better without drink. The lows are not worth the highs. I cannot moderate. I cannot drink alcohol any longer. Alcohol is not a part of my life any more.

Here's to another AF week my lovelies - (clink those mugs of tea girls!!).

Gaybo x

six months today. SIX MONTHS sippie! (and me ) !

Thats good isnt it !

x

Morning all.

Just a quick one before I jump in the shower (I've been enjoying the peace with a cup of tea before the DC wake up; no Monday hangover/depression/churny tummy after a weekend's boozing is still such an amazing thing).

Sippie I couldn't run or walk a couple of weeks ago and it got me so so down. I ordered a gentle Pilates book with DVD and did that instead which really helped as I felt I was doing something. I get a bit manic with food and exercise and need to feel in control of it, as the alternative is to totally disregard all healthy living. I'm very much an All or Nothing type. Foot took a few weeks to heal and I really had to rest it. Have started up with the walking/jogging again now very gently. Hope yours sorts itself out soon.

On another note, has anyone tried meditation classes?

Indeed SIX MONTHS!! I remember when I was pm'ing sorcha saying 'ooh get us we've done a fortnight!! This goes to show that whatever life can chuck at you, it is do-able. It's been hard at time, but somehow, you have to have in your head Drinking Will Not Solve This Problem. Because it won't it really won't.

Happy day

Me, MrsSippie here. I have just name changed as DH said 'look Biggles Flies Undone' to me yesterday when we were accidentally watching a world war 2 film. It made me laugh a lot so I thought I would use it

6 months...OMG.

Well done you fab lovelies.

How about a synopsis of that half-year so far from you both?

Rachael Good to hear you're home and on the mend!

candles I too have limited my caffeine but I'm still struggling to get off to sleep on a night, it takes ages and then when I do sleep I'm having crazy dreams. Sounds like you've been having a stressful time of things re finances, but you're right about not trying to tackle things all at once, you'll get there

GayByrne well done on not cracking at the restaurant and BBQ, sounds like you're doing a great job of rewiring the association of boozing at social events; Ive just downloaded 'How To Party Sober' by Rachel Black on my Kindle, to prepare me for the future (been having lots of dreams about being out and drinking, then waking up in a panic!).

A massive well done to Sorcha and Sippie (or is that Biggles? ). An amazing achievement, you're both fab and an inspiration to us all

Mistress I too am grateful for starting Monday without that disgusting hangover fog. There's been times this weekend I've felt like driving off to the shop, hiding in a cave and necking at least a bottle of wine, but I managed to face my emotions head on without numbing and prolonging the stress. Hard work, but it's paid off.

Hi guys. Loved your post, Gaybo.

I cannot moderate. I do not need this drug to be BETTER. I am good enough without it. Life is better without drink. The lows are not worth the highs. I cannot moderate. I cannot drink alcohol any longer. Alcohol is not a part of my life any more.

All SO SO true. And if we can take that on board - really on board - and not allow ourselves to get into those internal debates about whether or not we might be able to drink moderately now we've been sober/good so long etc - then we will be fine. And free from the demon. I just try to look at alcohol as a poison (to me - not others obv).

Oh, MrsS (can we still call you that - discuss….), I really feel for you not being able to run just now. I had a nasty injury at the end of last year which meant I couldn't take any exercise at all and it made me hugely depressed (and fat).Obviously I ate like a pig when I couldn't exercise - just to make things worse in silly self-sabotage way…

I just got one of those UP bands by Jawbone - anyone know them? They live on your wrist and measure how many steps you take in a day AND monitor your sleep (number of hours/quality of sleep etc). Has become my new addiction! Actually quite fun - and shows how good just walking more can be. May be good for you, MrsS if you can't do much running at the mo?

SlippedD - love the sound of that book 'How to Party Sober'. Can you tell me if it is any good? If so, I will get it. All additional tools useful!

Happy day all….

Hello all!

Rushing in and rushing out just t say a hearty hearty heart congrats to Sorcha and Biggles.

You both are an inspiration!!

Six months! How wonderful. Massive hearty congratulations.

Still sober here, and feeling OK. Tomorrow I go on holidays and I genuinely don't know how that's going to work out. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff waiting to see if I jump off, but without any clear idea whether I am about to or not. But today I'm not drinking.

Sorcha and MrsSippie huuuuuuuuuge congratulations! Well done both of you.

SlippedDisco, you're a day ahead of me; I hit fifty days on Saturday. You're far ahead of me in relation to the food, though. I'm going to steal your treat idea and try that. My problem is that I want something I can nibble on over a period of time, though, which is exactly what the wine did. Lift to mouth, sip, set down. Lift to mouth, sip, set down. I don't watch TV, I read or write, so I can't occupy my hands with something like knitting to replace the compulsion.

Morning all. Hope everyone is fine.:) I have a streaming cold and bad cough, so am feeling a bit miserable.I expected to be radiant, glowing, healthy and thin by giving up drinking!

Have good sober days everyone- congrats on all the milestones!

I will do a quick reflection of the past six months - I'll try not to be too dull .

I had been trying and trying to 'moderate' for so long but simply slipped back into the binging so badly that I was beginning to realise that at some point very soon I was going to have to STOP. Around October last year my mum was having loads of tests for a long standing condition (which we all know is completely mental health related, but she was getting more and more ill, so had various treatments) She had an endoscopy booked for a weekend in October when DH and I had decided to have a (very rare) night away, and I felt so incredibly guilty for leaving her that I drank myself into oblivion that Saturday night, and, as I've mentioned before, ended up embarrassing myself in front of my sister and attacking dh :(. The next day I continued drinking but something, on the Monday morning just kind of 'flipped' in me and I knew I had to do it this time. All that week I was incredibly ill, mentally and physically and began to slowly feel better, realising that it was quite obviously alcohol that had made me so unwell.

The next month or two were hard, dh kept buying drinks for me, just assuming it was my normal 'have a few weeks off and go on a and on about it ' , but I resisted - and ran. I ran and ran and ran, and found I really liked running!

Xmas eve, my mother came to stay...and I relapsed. I had two or three glasses of red wine and god, did I feel ill the next day.

NYE was really difficult, the first NYE since 1980 without a drink!

Now, I still miss it, I still think it would be lovely to have a few drinks and the summer is going to be a test, but I can't give up now. Oh, and I can't have 'a few drinks'

Triggers: Going out (obviously), being on my own and bored, the holiday - I found myself not wanting to go anywhere in the evenings, didn't want to see people drinking, didn't want to want their drink, Saturday nights - just sometimes, watching tv - especially Corrie (!!) They are ALWAYS in the Rovers, and peter's alcoholic storyline I find actually quite annoying! The issues with my mum lately, how lovely it would be to have a drink after the stress of her ..

Best bits: Waking up every morning and feeling well, Looking really good, clear skin, white eyes, whiter teeth!

Dealing with cravings: running, reading, drinking water.

Dealing with people: I'm honest actually. Everyone who has known me for more than a bout two years knows I had a problem, and they are all really supportive. I don't want to lie.

That's it in a nutshell. I hope it may help, maybe, a bit. x

I was picking up DS from a playdate yesterday afternoon and ended up having to drive along a stretch of road where I had one of my worst episodes. Just have flashbacks of it - utterly smashed after a work 'do' and was staggering along (across??) a REALLY busy road trying to find my way home. Just horrendous. How I lived to tell the tale I have no idea. And what my clients must of thought of me - a middle aged woman in that state - God only knows. No idea how I got home, although I have weird patches of memory involving me being hauled up off the road by someone. I woke up with a cut face - hair stuck to one cheek because of the blood. Was that enough to stop me? No - sadly it wasn't. Things had to get worse for another few months before I hit my rock bottom. What a wife/mother, eh?

Sorry - slight stream of consciousness rant - but driving past that park and along that stretch of road always brings me huge shame. And I think that shame and vivid memory is really helpful in that it reminds me why I just CANNOT drink. End. Of.

Hoping everyone is having a good AF day xx

Hi everyone,

Just logged on to share a funny thing.I looked up my local AA group, and the directions they give on the website is not the number of the street but 'next to such and such pub'. That appealed to my sense of humour. :)

I'm planning to just go along this week.... and loiter outside for a bit before losing my nerve and going back home again.

Biggles lots of interesting things in your recap, really valuable for me to read. Especially with how you deal with triggers and cravings. Did you tell people straight away when you finally stopped? I just feel I can't right now. I told people I had given up for Lent. No-body questions that, even if you are not religious, which I m not. Since Lent finished I have not seen anyone except for one friend who I know has a problem too(although we have never been explicit about it with each other). With her I told her I was carrying on, because I found that alcohol exacerbates my depression, which is actually 100% true. My only real plan is to say that 'I have decided it does not agree with me'. Which is also true. :)

Have been planting lovely plans like a demon. A nice side effect of not drinking.

Hope everyone is well.

merce, of the sudden flashbacks knock you don't they? I try and tell myself 'You will never be that person again otherwise i kind of collapse inside with shame.

Ugh. I always thought I was pretty good at keeping a lid on my drinking in public, but realised that everybody I know, work colleagues/friends/family all refer to my liking a drink in some way all the time.

I will never ever be that person again. I am liking who I might be.

On another note- does anyone have any good novel recommendations? I find myself with time between getting into bed and turning out the light.Not passing out anymore. :) It's all good.

Hi all just checking in.

Still not drinking, still doing OK, still stuffing my face with chocolates and cake!

Merce - we've all been there (well I have anyway) and more times than I care to count. Like you it is good for me to be reminded of exactly why I can't (and won't) do it any more.

Sidles back in after my month or so away to say hello.

Still dry here bar a blip at day 101. Had a night where there was a lot of drama going on and I had one beer. Instantly I was uncorking bottles of wine in my head, thinking a whisky would be nice after, getting peed off that the lo wouldn't sleep as my beer was downstairs. Thankfully I was able to recognise this faulty thinking, decide it just wasn't worth it and make myself a cup of tea instead.

I don't notice any physical changes if I'm honest. In fact without the fuzzy haze of alcohol to look through at the mirror I think I look more shit My skin has flared up something shocking and I just look bloody old these days. Still that's what make-ups for eh and at least I have a steady hand to apply my eyeliner.

Biggest change for me is mentally. I've always been prone to panic attacks and depression from my teens. I've been in a very painful place from having dd with a lot of feelings I didn't want to have. Thinking I'm the shittest mum in the world for feeling this way. I do think I'm coming out the other side. Without the constant barrage of booze my mind is clearer and I can see that it's not totally unreasonable some of the feelings I had, exhaustion drives you to it. From she was born I did it all on my own until dad started taking her overnights at 6mo. I should be a bit proud instead of beating myself up about it.

I just feel a lot more settled and on an even keel. Found exercise has helped a lot both with stopping vices (smoking too - 12 weeks now yay!) and giving me a sense that I can challenge myself and succeed to do something I never thought I'd be able to do. Think I'm a bit of an endorphin junkie now tbh. Addictive personality would be in it :)

Hey there Morrigu, good to read from you! Last time you posted you were feeling down about your life still being mundane, I think - it sounds like that's getting better?

It's getting better for me. All the corniness around 'the little things in life' are coming true for me more and more. Last night I crept into my daughter's bedroom while she was asleep to borrow her hairbrush, and just stood there brushing my hair and feeling such comfort from her dimly lit pink room, her breathing, her soft toys, and feeling glad that she has such a nice safe place to end each day, and just...oh, I don't know, it was just nice.

Morning all . Good to see positivity and people still going. Blips happen, but you recognised it, which is brilliant morrigu.

Had my counselling yesterday where I touched on my drinking. Talking about how life without hiding in a bottle is quite frightening at times..

Also, went out with some friends for a meal which was really nice. 2 of us drinking, 2 of us not and still had a great time - and laughed and chatted and did all the things that you do 'out' . Good fun indeed.

Worried about my bloody leg still. Tried to run last night and did 400 metres before collapsing in real pain :( Doctors tomorrow, so frustrating. At work so ought to get on I suppose!

Have a fab day all..

Tortoise - I totally get what you mean about that lovely warm feeling you experienced in your daughter's room. The (apparently) small things can trigger really powerful feelings, can't they? I get that too loads now - so glad that I can offer them a safe, secure childhood. Wish I had got sober earlier, but really no point dwelling on that.

MrsS/Biggies - really glad you are seeing the doc. Sounds as if there is something wrong and you mustn't aggravate it by running on it. I know how annoying it is not to be able to exercise (especially when it plays key role as antidepressant!), but not worth making it worse so you have to stop running for longer. You have my every sympathy on that front. As I said in an earlier post, I was out of action due to knee injury and on crutches for 2 months. HORRENDOUS. But worth being kind to your body!

Afternoon girls,

tortoise - I SO SO SO get what you mean. When I get DD's room ready and it's clean and tidy(ish!) and glowing with its pink nightlight I feel so contented. We are providing her with a lovely warm safe place and I love being able to do that.

biggles thank you for the synopsis - so inspiring to read your story.

morrigu really well done you!

AFM, 13 days AF now. Last night I did have a swift yet strong craving for a glass of dry, crisp Sav Blanc...ice cold...mmm...

But I can't drink normally, so I have to say NO to all alcohol because I can't drink normally. Damn right alcohol doesn't agree with me! I don't agree with it either. I abuse it and drink into absolute oblivion, yes, every once in a while, but seriously, who does that?! I'm disgusting when I binge and the only way not to binge is to stop drinking all together.

And let me tell you so far, no great loss...

As for what to tell people I think I'm going to go with the truth. I've already told a few people about my final (please God!) binge and that I can't see myself ever being able to get back to some sort of normal drinking pattern so in order to avoid the binges, I have to stop totally. They did roll their eyes like "we've heard this all before" you know, they probably have, that morning after HORROR when you swear (and mean it) that you'll never touch another fucking drop...we've all done it, even the normos out there! But soon we'll be moving and I'll be able to just be the 'new' girl who doesn't drink. It's not that weird. As for the people who know me, if they don't know about that binge I'll tell them.

Right, off to nap with my girl before the school run...I swear if she doesn't stop singing 'Let It Go' from Frozen, she will drive me to drink...

AF wishes to you all x

Hi all, am a regular(lurker) on this thread, really hoping to crack this and stay dry for a while until it atleast feels normal, I wanted to get some of the books people have mentioned, like the Alan carr one but when I went in local library couldn't find anything asked lady at the desk and she found Alan Carrs lifestory, I said no not that one, then she looked on the computer at what she could find (Alan carrs how to stop smoking came up and obviously at this point I should have said its the Alan Carr how to stop drinking I want to read, but I couldn't. How could I ask for that when people might hear?lol so I just wondered if anyone had anything to sell me? If you private msg me how much and what I could pay by paypal, I really need something good to read to get me on track!