The Dating game - welcome all daters to the DATING THREAD 70!!!

[girliefriend]

Thought it was my turn to start the thread!!

Didn't want to start a thread really so hope it is ok to post here.

I don't really have any dating experience but I do want to.

My big issue is that I really hate how I look. I can't imagine anyone being attracted to me or letting them see me. It isn't that I have a negative view of myself - some people do and hate how they look even though they look fine - I just know what I look like. I don't know how a man would react. As well as being overweight I have pcos.

I don't want to be single forever but I have been so far.

Or me :-)

I'm kinda ewww.... about if people have issues.....why don't they do anything about it???

Easier said than done Fifty - there are lots of things that could cause someone to have issues about their appearance that they can't necessarily do anything about.

Muchtooshy no good advice sorry but if there are aspects of your appearance that you're unhappy with that are down to the pcos, could your doctor help with some treatments? The other thing is having confidence in yourself and generally being contented with life, again easier said than done, but someone who's happy and comfortable in their own skin is always attractive, regardless of physical appearance.

Bit harsh fifty

much have you had any counselling about your body issues? If you want to lose weight what about joining something like weight watchers or slimming world? Tbh like western said if you feel o.kay about yourself and your life that will be attractive.

crow trust your instinct. He sounds genuine to me. X

Good morning all!

I'm very intrigued as to hear how jarlin's weekend went - hope the wedding was good and they overcame the obstacle of the iron bedsteads.

Crow in your case, I would believe him. Or at least give him the benefit of the doubt on this one occasion... Ordinarily, this is one of those occasions when I would accept what I was being told but not necessarily believe it and then see what sort of picture built up over the next few weeks. But I think the fact he was texting all day is a good sign.

girlie I'm glad it went well today and that you felt better as a result. It's great that he and your daugher got on (how old is she?) but I can see why that just throws different worries out there! Never easy, is it?

I think you and jarlin probably have the right idea and 4 months sounds about right. I'm not sure I'd introduce the man I'm seeing to my children just yet, or at least, not as "this is my boyfriend" or whatever because I'm not sure what it is myself! But I can see how there might be things that crop up over the next few weeks/couple of months where I would have to choose between doing things with him or with my son/children. In an either/or situation, the children would 'win'. But at the same time, there are a couple of things where it would be appropriate for it to be done altogether.

much Have you been to the drs for your pcos? I have a friend who has it and had success with WW. She also got treatment for other symptoms she was unhappy with and they made a huge difference to her appearance and, therefore, how she felt about herself.

In my news. Well, not much has happened. The man I'm seeing sent me a youtube link to a song in the middle of the night. No text, just the link and the subject line: For you. Now, I know he was watching the rugby and drinking yesterday so there's a chance he was quite drunk... Have no idea if I'm supposed to read anything into it or not - on one hand it would be very easy to do so, but then, maybe I'm not meant to. Oh the confusion continues

I'm very intrigued to hear how...

It's early

There's no dating the thread or people through the thread. That's not what it's for.

I think it's a spam account/troll folk, they've already asked the same thing twice and had the messages deleted.

What was the song?

Oh really? I'm a bit thick sometimes .

I'll PM you. Just feel a bit odd putting it on here.

Morning, still getting the "American" I saw your awesome profile messages on OKC. It's a bit yawnsome. Where are the real people, who live near me?

I tell a lie, I have had three messages from a creepy looking guy who is fairly local, and they just say "Hello" or "Hi". Clearly I'm going to respond to this. (Sarcasm.)

Sorry for posting again but this is quite amusing. I've narrowed down my search on OKC to quite specific things. One person who comes up as a 94% match is a guy I went out with and then chucked out in the middle of the night because he just considered it casual sex and I thought we were starting a relationship.

Another at 91% match is a bloke I had a date with and never heard of again.

Jarlin, I'm a latecomer so don't know the lead up to this, but it does sound a bit dead in the water. Is he someone you'd seen a lot of before this?

Oh Jarlin, I'm sorry to hear that.

If he's not DTD for a while he might just be out of practice, and I think that does make people quick and selfish. They're so unused to the sensations that they don't know how to deal with it IYSWIM. If everything else was promising I'd be inclined to see whether the sex improves. Small is a complicating factor though.

I don't think it's healthy to leave the ball in his court re future contact. I think you need to decide whether you'd want to give him another chance and see if communication can be improved. If you still want it to go somewhere I'd have a frank but polite conversation with him. If you don't, then write it off now and tell yourself that's what you've done.

You really are flogging a dead horse jarlin

Does it really seem worth pursuing? You are supposed to be feeling wanted and desired by this man, and he's doing none of that. Honestly, bin him off and get a good one

OH jarlin what a disappointment

At least you know why he was so backwards in coming forwards now. I think the lack of complimenting you and arranging a house viewing would put me off too. That's the sort of thing that's going to chip away at your self esteem over time, isn't it? Do you think you might give it another go if he does get in touch?

Actually, it's reminded me of a man I saw for a few weeks. He wasn't small at all, but thought he was - he was perfectly fine actually (did sneak a look) so I can only imagine what his frame of reference was... We tried to dtd and it was an unmitigated disaster. I wasn't allowed to look at him, or touch him. And he was so worried about it that he couldn't maintain an erection. He worked himself up into a right state about it. We did do it once after that, but he just apologised for his poor performance (which again, was fine), and was clearly very distressed. It really put me off him. Not his physical appearance, or anything else, but the constant self critique!

I think that was the point at which I decided I was never going to moan about my appearance to a man ever again! I actually thought he was stunningly good looking until he pointed out all of his flaws to me... I hadn't been able to see them until that point but then they were all glaringly obvious!

Jarlin I'd be tempted to write this one off not only for lack in downstairs dept but more for way he's treated you afterwards and the house viewing etc. it can be awkward after first time sex but shouldn't be that bad and the lack of affection and rushing off would really put me off!

Jarlin Sorry it was a big disappointment. He sounds like he has issues if he can't walk to the bathroom naked in front of someone he's just slept with . I'd find that awfully off-putting. I don't like the way he was only concerned about his own pleasure either - when you sleep with someone, especially in the early days, half the fun is giving them pleasure too.

Do you want to see him again or is that it as far as you're concerned?

After all the build up with the twin beds and everything, I was hoping it would turn out better for you Jarlin.