The Dating game - welcome all daters to the DATING THREAD 70!!!

[girliefriend]

Thought it was my turn to start the thread!!

He was just so believeable though. I couldn't be the way he was with me with someone if I didn't genuinely feel the way I claimed to.

I mean stroking someone's hair and gazing adoringly at them while they fell asleep. Would you really go to the effort of faking that? Really?

Just generally being sweet, and affectionate, and so attentive... Why? He went to a lot of effort to draw me in! To what end? What was the point?

Oh folkgirl, I am very sorry to read that. I would feel betrayed by that. There are decent guys out there definitely, but it is so depressing when you come up against those that aren't.
I hope you have something nice to do today to take your mind of this idiot??

Message sent.

The thing is, Polly that he did seem one of the decent guys.

I'm not even sure I want to read his reply (if he sends one). I wasn't arsey, just said I'd found him online and that I liked him but thought I deserved better than that.

Folkgirl so sorry to hear he turned out to be a pillock. Glad you are getting angry as it makes it easier to cut him off.

He's the sad online loser

I think that sounds like a perfect, dignified message.

Yes, I can see that you did, and I would have too.
That is what makes it such a betrayal.

Indeed a pillock, as lizzie says. I bet he will be gutted - as the thing is, I bet he meant everything and does really like you, but online dating is addictive for some people, all that attention.

And you can walk away with your head held high - you deserve so much more.

Ofg

It was great, he came and picked me up I was hesitant about that at first but thought he doing it as he knows I'limited on fuel at the moment.
We sat very close to each other, like I said we were happy to thEse each other, the kissing was nice it was me who started it as deep Down I think he a bit shy.
When we were out I could sense him looking at me as I was watching the football ,not sure if that is a good sign?
Plus he said nice to see the legs out again I think that a compliment.?
Trying not to get my hopes up tho

It feels like a Nina Simone and a Spring Cleaning sort of a day today.

But first for a cup of tea...

Actually, the answer is here already. He replied within a couple of minutes, but I don't quite have the nerve to read it yet.

I'm glad I didn't let myself fall in love in love with him. Do feel very heavy hearted today though. He was so very nice to just look at as much as anything. He did snore really badly though... Silver linings and all that...

I think I might go out for a run later. Clear my head. I'm just going to get back to making myself the best version of me that I can be.

Sounds lovely jesy

folk that is just crap... don't let it put you off tho. There are a lot of twats about who think they can have jam on both sides. They end up very unhappy. My exh is on his fourth gf since we split last July. . Each time he believes it's his happy ever after .. but low and behold it's over again :) chin up .. it will get better and treat yourself to something nice today

Please read it....give yourself some closure. Dont spoil your day. Deal with it now.
I feel for you as Mr4 did that to me although he hasnt been online for a while. He said he had made a friend and he felt sorry for her! Hence him still being a member.
Dont give up. Have a break and as a PP said, there are hidden gems out there. Some lovely genuine men. We just have to separate the wheat from the chaff.

dippin I think that when I have read his response I will feel a lot better. I could cope with him trying to apologise (don't want to read it, though!) but am worried about getting a nasty reply. It would be very out of character from what I have seen so far, but you never know...

Perhaps it's for the best anyway. I was extraordinarily tortured by the whole thing emotionally. Which isn't/wasn't being helped by the counselling.

Flora made a friend and felt sorry for her?!

What kind of messages do (some) men get about women that makes them think we'll buy that shit.

I reactivated my account briefly with the intention of just seeing when we'd started communicating on there. I forgot that with him having done the same, they'd no longer be showing.

However, I did get an email from "I want to come in your mouth" man. I couldn't really it all because I've not got a subscription, but he appeared to be telling me he had missed me...

So, you know, all's not lost...

• He'd also suspended/deleted (suspended) his account.

• I couldn't read it all.

He replied to say that he hasn't dated anyone since we've been together and that he likes me very much.

He's just sent another email to say he's deleted the account.

(Really hope he's not a lurker on this thread...!)

I don't know what to think now.

Fuck.

Read it folk , then have closure if that is what you want. .. I would take a break from old , you seem to have alot on your plate with counselling etc. Go back ol refreshed ... be kibd to yourself , you have done nothing wrong

He could be telling the truth , he did sound genuine. You have to decide what is right for you.

But, he has been online and has been chatting to women. And you have seen evidence of that. How does he explain all that?

Folk....thats good that hes deleted his account. However if it was me, the trust would be gone. What's to stop him setting up another?
He needs to show his worth to you now to maintain any relationship with you.

dippin I think he probably is telling the truth.

But Lizzie is right. He was online searching for and chatting/flirting with women and, as Flora said, there is nothing to stop him doing it again. I think I'm probably a bit too fragile for all of this now.

I think you are too fragile too .. have a break .. build yourself back up. Once the trust is gone , it's impossible. Chatting to different women is not good..

Yes, you're right.

I've just replied to him. A short email telling him what I have enjoyed about being with him (just to remind him) and then said,

"But you've still been searching for, messaging and flirting with women online and that's hurtful and I don't think I could trust you now.

And all the time I trusted that you were watching films or falling asleep, well, you weren't :("

Jesy

Interesting that he was the shy one! That is always me on dates. Think that is a good sign that he was looking at you!

It is so difficult to stay detached. I keep reminding myself but it is difficult.

It will hurt for a while , but you will get over him. He is the one sitting with a slapped cheek right now , which he deserves.

Seeing all these relationships break down. . I'm beginning to think alot about staying single and just have a fwb situation. ..

Dipping....same here! I got a very eloquent message on pof asking if i was interested in a monogamous fwb relationship. The guy sent me a pic...hes not bad. And he alludes to being loaded....Ive declined but I was tempted lol.