The Dating game - welcome all daters to the DATING THREAD 70!!!

[girliefriend]

Thought it was my turn to start the thread!!

Polly, I'm there this weekend on Saturday too. Can't wait! I am in east Kent..

I got matched on Tinder but he's not messaged me, what's the protocol there, do I wait?

He has text me now asking how I am and how my mum is, also asking if I'm free tomorrow night and if not what do I want to do Saturday.
AIBU though to think he might have text earlier today to check all was ok? Or am I just a bit demanding because it's that time of the month for me?

My date was today instead of tomorrow as the chap had to do something worky tomorrow. I was nervous but he was very nice - not at all flighty which I thought he would be. However, he's worked in loads of countries in the last few years so probably isn't a "settler". It was nice to be back on the horse, so to speak. He did mention going for an Indian, so we'll see if he follows up on that.

PollyIndia I found the questions-rigmarole a bit annoying too but I just clicked through it all quickly to get my profile up and running. I only met one other guy through it - mainly as he was fairly locally matched to me. I'm close to London but not in it, and with DS to think about I didn't really want the faff of dating someone in London so sending a 'smile' to Mr W was done in a fleeting moment of madness as he's the other side of London to me, oh well.. Anyway he seemed nice and had a DD as well as being fairly local. And he was what I thought would be a good 'introduction' to OD - a pleasant guy to dip the toe in waters with. And that's exactly what he proved to be. Nice email chats, nothing dodgy but the odd flirty comment.. He was exactly as he'd presented himself - both physically and in his email conversation. I didn't fancy him but had a pleasant lunch. He was gratifyingly keen to see me again but also polite when I declined. I thought that was that and was about to come off the site when Mr W sent an email in response to my 'smile' about 2 weeks after I'd done so (and just before I decided to stop). I started emailing and agreed to meet him fully expecting it would go the same way as Local Man. To my surprise I did feel an attraction and he was so damn nice I said yes to a second date.. And here I am posting about how I found myself in a relationship with a lovely man but wasn't sure how normal my doubts were.
So- bet you're glad you asked about eHarmony now!
I like the fact you were 'sent' matches and didn't need to trawl through profiles as I'm too lazy for that. And as I said I also liked the built-in 'vetting' process as I was treating it all as an exercise in being shown there were single people out there and was quite nervous about actually being active if that makes sense.
But, I can see why it's not all that popular as agree it does seem to attract a fairly 'serious' type of person. If that's the right word. I picked it because I'd met a couple at a beautiful open-air concert last year who were so scarily well-matched they even looked alike! And we're sickeningly loved up. And now they're engaged.. (And they'd met on eHarmony although it was a secret they had ).

I think Wedding Guy sounds promising.. How was the 'staying over'?!

Santaclaws - I can see why you wanted Bricky to check in on you earlier - it would have been thoughtful. But it does sound like he redeemed himself a bit..?

I don't know if he's redeemed himself, I still feel a bit peeved. It's like he's been to work come home had his dinner gone to the gym and only then text me

Santa I would be annoyed too, you want him to think of you, not when it's convenient. I had a similar issue with my recent ex, and it was a major major issue for me

Jarlin, you seem a little disheartened? Slowburner definitely doesn't seem comfortable addressing what you text.. It must be really disappointing

Lois your date sounds good, as you said it's good practice!

I won't message the tinder guy, I am rather pleased someone liked me!

Indeed. And he didn't recoil in horror at my fatness, so all good.

Hmm, actually I haven't felt comfortable enough to talk about sex with him Jarlin. No. But I don't think that's him, I do feel shy about that kind of thing. Although did have the obligatory contraception/ STD chat which is always a nice way to spice things up before slipping between the sheets..
I do otherwise feel very comfortable with him so can imagine getting to the point where I could talk about sex. If that helps... Hmm. Is this bad?

What's Slowburner's relationship history? Do you think he's perhaps a bit anxious about seeming too keen and being rejected? Esp given his possible anxieties on the sexual front?

jarlin can I ask, does your friend with the interesting set of hobbies live in South London? There can't be many of them around (she hopes!!) and I've had the misfortune of coming across one....!!!

I've just seen a cock shot on Tinder. Urgh. I swiped left, in case you're wondering.

softkitty Matt makes some really good points in the book. Its obvious when you read it - yoh have to be out there meeting people 'to meet people' OLD just doesn't have the initial spark between 2 people

Soft omg! That's just... Obscene!

Jarlin, I think you have done the right thing. It doesn't stop it bothering you.

soft good grief. I must be in a different area. I haven't seen that one yet. I did see one yesterday in a studded black BDSM leather balaclava though !!!

jarlin good God, there are at least two of them then!

well I'm annoyed now. I said I'd text Mr Majorca tonight & we'd have a chat. So I did...at 8.30. Asked if ge was free for a chat. He's ignored my text but have just seen he's on Whatsapp & is online. So, when he texts tomorrow and pretends he was out/ asleep, do I pretend I believe him? what would you do?

softkitty I just logged on to say the exact same thing!!!! Please tell me it's the same guy and there aren't 2 idiots who've put cock shots as their only pic...... I was also hoping he hadn't signed in using FB lol

Also to whoever first mentioned tinder it's sooooo addictive! It's like winning the bingo when you get a match

Lizzie I agree with him that in order to meet someone you need to get out more. I find that difficult for a few reasons - lack of money, lack of babysitters, lack of friends willing to go out (my friends are married and no longer want to go out in the evenings). I need to have a think and see how I can overcome those obstacles.

Jarlin he does sound like a really nice man. But perhaps a bit entrenched in the life he has at the moment - which consists of being a dutiful parent/ son. This is admirable but I think you're right to lay out what you expect from
a healthy/ fun relationship at the moment (while of course bearing in mind your mutual commitments!) and if he can't get on board with this then at least you know where you stand now. And it's his loss really because he sounds lovely and so do you.

No need for a loo update as I'm already home after being officially stood up. Not even cancelled on, stood up. And to kick me when I was down, Mr MM's friend was at the bar where I was waiting, which means he was probably there too.

That's horrible. And so cowardly. Are you ok?