In a long affair....please don't read if this will cause you upset/anger.

[alltoomuchnow]

Namechanged. I'm married with 2 children and I've been having an affair for over 6 years now. Something has literally "gone" in my mind and I can't take it any longer. I love OM very much but I know that we'll never be together. As time continues to go by I know that my feelings for him will get stronger. I need to end it all or accept that this is how it will be. I'm not asking for sympathy - I know I've done something very wrong and that I'll be hated on here. But I am human, I have feelings and I don't know how to cope any more. Has anyone been here and has felt this desperate....

no no this board is not mirroring society in any way. There is a more balanced viewpoint out there where affairs and the reasons behind affairs are more fairly understood

handful & wisey you're welcome x

Lyingwitch - yes I know you commented on that post. Thats what I meant by are you going to fight everyones battles.

Ellen...I don't think so. If you told most people that someone had had an affair for 6 years...they would think it was wrong. They would think it was unfair and selfish. Because it is- the op knows it herself.

I actually don't think she's had that much of a bad time on here. She's had great advice.

With you on this as always LyingWitch. If somebody has been called a slag on here then it's time to hit the report button for sure. Nobody condones affairs, but some of the sexist, outdated guff that people post here on these threads is depressing.

When my friend was having her affair, she spent a lot of time on a forum for OW. I'm not going to post a link to it but it was the biggest load of back-slapping twaddle that I'd read. Not at all helpful, it was very much 'all girls together', giggle, giggle. I felt really sad and sickened that she was getting so much from it.

What there needs to be is a forum for help in a 'listen up and stop dreaming' kind of way. Something that people can read before they get sucked in, before they've lost control of their feelings. The difficulty is that in a state of 'euphoria' it's very difficult to get people in affairs to understand pain that is caused to others, they don't see it, it's white noise to them as they're completely self-absorbed in their affair 'bubble'.

I think the relationship board here is amazing, not all of us have people we can talk to in real life.

I nsmechanged and posted on here a few weeks ago when I had a really shitty time with dh after he had done something I was not sure was forgivable or not (not cheating) I really would have went insane that night without writing things down and reading the good and bad replies.

Hopefully this all will have been some help to the op, she is obviously in a different place from before that she has chosen now to talk about it.

lying agree. In RL people have affairs, marriages break up. People just get on with it, life goes on. Only on mn do affairs seem worse than murder and the perpetrators will never ever be forgiven and be condemned to live as an outcast for the rest of their natural. Rubbish.

I've reported the slag/ knickers on the floor comment. Horrible, and yes, woman hating.

Dame I resent what you are implying. People don't "just get on with it" it fucking hurts and it hurts for a long time and yes life goes on but it does change everything. I have stayed with my DP so my ability to forgive is obviously there and I think other than a couple of posts the OP has been given good advice on this thread.

King I did also get a lot of LTB comments and even told that he could not be a fantastic day as even with 12 years of unblemished history this one thing obviously showed his true colours.

However the posts I disagreed with made me realise i could move past it and the supportive posts gave me the courage to move on in my terms.

Hopefully the op is gaining the same from this thread

OP seriously ?

You have spat your dummy out because one person owns the relationships board ?

Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds ?

if I truly did "own" it, people who look for sympathy who are hurting others, know it, but carry on doing it anyway would be told the truth of the situation

you don't want to hear it though, you would rather pull your toys back into the pram

you don't "accept" how wrong your behaviour is at all, you just want people to give you a pat on the head and agree how difficult it all is

you have had some of that on this thread, so I suggest you take what you need before you go and let those few crumbs comfort you in your choices

and I am off to HQ to get my money back, because I no more "own" this board than any other individual that contributes here

DAD! Not day

I meant other people. It's implied on here that those who have affairs are outcasts who nobody speaks to again in the community. This is simply not true.

I was not meaning those who have been hurt by the betrayal get over it and move on. Sorry for the confusion.

oh ok sorry

you seem a bit unsettled, bonsour

is everything ok in your world ?

OP, I would be very surprised if on some level your DH doesn't already know.

Statistically your luck is going to run out (soon) and you are going to get well and truly busted.

If you want to try and salvage something of your marriage you need to make a decision one way or the other; but then you already know this I think.

Good luck x

AF in a hairnet

Post us a pic pleeeeeeaase.

Dame- which threads have you been reading???

I think you're being really flippant. People in rl don't 'get in with it'...

I've never seen anyone suggest a cheat should be outcast?! Yes, they're described as arseholes and cunts (which they are) but no one describes them as worse than murderers on any threads I've ever read ...

Lets hope you don't get cheated on or my advice will be to het on with it...

Whats wrong withnet curtains?