In a long affair....please don't read if this will cause you upset/anger.

[alltoomuchnow]

Namechanged. I'm married with 2 children and I've been having an affair for over 6 years now. Something has literally "gone" in my mind and I can't take it any longer. I love OM very much but I know that we'll never be together. As time continues to go by I know that my feelings for him will get stronger. I need to end it all or accept that this is how it will be. I'm not asking for sympathy - I know I've done something very wrong and that I'll be hated on here. But I am human, I have feelings and I don't know how to cope any more. Has anyone been here and has felt this desperate....

Lying, I could be wrong here but I get the impression you are/were in the shoes of the op. Not suggesting you have deceived someone for 6 years of course, its just your defending the actions of the op to the hilt and callihg posters that have no sympathy for her a woman hater.

if the op was male and responses were the same would you call us man haters?

It's not sexist to say that affairs are a very bad idea. Nobody here has said they aren't.

But it is sexist to use outdated, sexist stereotype and cliche such as telling women to keep their legs shut or seeming delighted that the OM hasn't left his wife when the op of this thread hasn't left her husband either. Women should just say no to married men, what a,load of apologist guff. Men and women should both be honest and faithful to their partners.

I've never defended the actions of the OP, Sort, show me once where I have done this?

I've never suggested that posters should be sympathetic to the OP either. Affairs are wrong, I've never said anything different to that EVER.

Some of the posters on this thread have been vile and ABUSIVE and I don't use that term lightly at all. They're choosing to verbally abuse a poster who has thoughts of suicide. Would they really do that if it were a poster on any other topic?

And yes, if a man had posted and the responses were the same, I'd refer to those posters as man-haters because that is what they would be. But, you know, it would NEVER happen... funny that.

So, I hope I've debunked your suggestions of defence, sympathy and man-hating, Sort, I'd suggest you don't read or comprehend posts very well. I'm also a little bemused considering your previous very vile and misogynistic post to the OP but, it does indeed take all sorts to make a chatboard.

I have seen threads where men have been told to keep their dick in their pants etc, so I disagree some comments are meant to be sexist. I think posters just respond to the op.

cross-posted with MorrisZapp who explains better.

Lyingwitch-blimey, you are such hard work.

lying another day has dawned and you are still banging on about "messiahs" and woman haters ? You are looking a tad too invested. It's not healthy.

People are still posting today on both sides of the fence, do you have an issue with this AF?

I have an issue with my name still being dragged into it for no other reason than to devalue any contribution I might make

Lyingwitch-i think you should look at your post from yesterday at 22:04.

I also thinks your a bit too invested and its not healthy.

You have enough to say about other posters, suggesting they are on glue etc. Your quite the hypocrite.

calm down before you give yourself a nose bleed love.

Some posters are so fucking rude. Reign it in, it's not healthy.

Makeup, you said that the MM thinks OP is a slag, and that she should pick her knickers up.

And you think others should calm down? Your post was the most offensive one on this thread imo.

Morris-yes I did. Thats my opinion and if you think my comment was the most offensive, well thats yours and your entitled to it.

AF... I posted here to give the OP advice. I don't know what your role was exactly other than to berate her,shut her up and derail the thread. Seemed quite 'mean girls' to me with a bunch of sycophantic groupies. That actually did surprise me as I've not seen you posting like that before, not on this part of the board.

I make no investment in any thread unless I want to. I certainly don't use them as some kind of a 'stress reliever' nor the OP as a 'punchbag'.

Lying-this thread has really hit a nerve with you hasnt it.

It's hit a nerve with lots of people, due to the subject matter. I dare say its hit a nerve with you too, or you wouldn't have posted as you did.

Nobody dragged you 'into it' AF, you posted asking why another thread or some such. From what I can see you just posted general chatty posts until a lecture delivered to the OP at 2117.

What is "healthy" about bullying a poster who has exposed her problems and is asking for help, AnyFucker?

Again Lying you have a huge agenda which has warped your view of this thread - to the point that you are actually seeing things that aren't here.

What 'sycophantic groupies'? Are you quite mad?

One poster used horribly offensive language ('slag') - one.

No one has taken any more notic of AF's posts than any other posts!

You have two agendas don't you? One is to obsessively try and bring a poster down (how odd) and the other is the one that you are not disclosing.

Morris, no nerve really.

Like I said its just my opinion.I

Ok makeup. When others post strong opinions they should calm down, but when you do its just your opinion.

Quite a few posters have used sexist language, not just one.

I made one comment. Lyingwitch is like a dog with a bone.

She should read what she wrote herself yesterday.

Constantly picking at what other posters have said is childish.

OP - in case you are still reading. I've had a tiny glimpse at your situation in my personal life. I am single and had an affair with a married man. It lasted 10 weeks. The deception (even though I wasn't cheating, he was) affected me a lot, emotionally and physically. So me and MM ended it, both heartbroken, and have gone NC. I haven't got over it yet (my own behaviour, and my feelings for MM), months later.

Given that you have somehow managed to keep the affair going for six years I strongly suggest you look at counselling. This will take a lot of work on your part. If MM indeed loves you he will agree to stop all contact, and stick to it. This is the only way to turn your life around. Keeping even casual contact would be very self indulgent and damage your recovery.

Also, while I would normally say that your husband and children deserve to know, in your case it is probably best to keep this a secret forever. (This will be easier if you have a counsellor to talk things through with.) You will have to live with the guilt forever, but at least you can gather some strength from the knowledge that you ended it.

Good luck OP.

Calling out sexism and hypocrisy is not childish. The OP has bowed out, so we can discuss this until the thread closes or one side falls silent.