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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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In a long affair....please don't read if this will cause you upset/anger.

641 replies

alltoomuchnow · 16/02/2014 14:28

Namechanged. I'm married with 2 children and I've been having an affair for over 6 years now. Something has literally "gone" in my mind and I can't take it any longer. I love OM very much but I know that we'll never be together. As time continues to go by I know that my feelings for him will get stronger. I need to end it all or accept that this is how it will be. I'm not asking for sympathy - I know I've done something very wrong and that I'll be hated on here. But I am human, I have feelings and I don't know how to cope any more. Has anyone been here and has felt this desperate....

OP posts:
rainbowsmiles · 17/02/2014 09:29

So should the OP stay with dh and continue the lie in order to protect herself and her children from the pain or does she tell her husband and allow the cards to fall?

I am judgemental when it comes to affairs. I think its black and white wrong. That doesn't mean I can't empathise for someone experiencing so much pain. If you see someone hurting you want to help not kick the boot in.

There was an ow thread recently where the ow was still in denial. I think that warrants some harsh reality but in this case I think the OP has a clear view of the damage she has wrought. The reality of her situation is crashing down upon her.

mammadiggingdeep · 17/02/2014 09:30

Bonsoir- sorry but that's just rubbish. They may not be suffering now but they won't be doing somersaults WHEN the truth comes out (it usually always does)....

The op herself said her family would be shattered so you're now inventing the scenario....

Bonsoir · 17/02/2014 09:32

DC are shattered by relationship breakdown when the adults concerned turn it into a full-scale drama and involve the DC in that. There are better and worse ways of handling divorce and separation.

MorrisZapp · 17/02/2014 09:34

On threads where an op is unhappy in her marriage but thinks she should stick with it because she has kids, the advice is overwhelming that she should leave, the kids are adaptable, they want you to be happy, and men can still be great dads without living in the same house.

Maybe it is different posters, but certainly this is the main thrust of advice given.

MistressDeeCee, more sexist language from you. Women should say no to MM and keep their legs shut? Really? The MM doesn't bear responsibility for saying no to married women? And his affection is referred to as crumbs whereas the OP, also married, is supposed to be heartbroken that he hasn't left his wife?

I don't see anybody saying boo hoo for the married man, he should have kept his knickers on, why does he want crumbs of affection from a married woman who clearly doesn't love him or else she would have left her DH.

Putting the onus onto women to say no is absolving men of their agency and responsibilities. It's an attitude belonging to the Mad Men era and imo is best left there.

perfectstorm · 17/02/2014 09:35

We don't know whether the OP's DC are suffering. There is no need for outrage at a figment of imagination.

I don't see any evidence they're suffering right now. If they found out about a 6 year affair, then I think it would be naive to think they wouldn't.

TinselTownley · 17/02/2014 09:36

Both my parents had affairs when I was a teenager. My father was emotionally and verbally abusive to my mother. I think her affair was what finally got her out so, far from being horrified by it, I have always been really happy that someone gave her the confidence and self worth she needed to ditch him.

My father, I think, had a string of short lived affairs but the one I know about started when my mum's career took off in her early 40s. It was with a woman down the road younger than my brothers. It repulses me that he found it so easy to replace my mother and didn't even look further than the street. I say 'replace' because that's what it was. When he began to loose his control over my mum and her independance grew, he simply found a new, more vulnerable victim.

I haven't had anything to do with him for years but they are still together. In our old house which, I think, must be frightful for her. I have an awful lot of pity for the poor woman, to be honest, as there is no way he will have changed at all. I even felt sorry for her at the time, knowing she was being sucked into a loveless relationship where she would never be anything more than an emotional punch bag for a hard-hitting bully.

It's not fair to say that children's reactions are invariably horror at the parent's actions. Few things are that cut and dried.

I actually feel terribly sorry for the OP. This must be a truly horrible way to live to the point where I wonder whether there's a degree of masochism involved. I am sure that, whatever the outcome, her children would love her to be a much happier person unburdened by all this pain.

AmIIndecisive · 17/02/2014 09:40

Op, I do feel for you and sympathise as I know that life isn't black and white.

However, a word of warning from a child who experienced this with her parents, I had major issues with my mum when I found out about her indiscretion, took me years to forgive her and now, years later, I understand the many sides to a story, at the time I was not so forgiving.

I picked a side and lost a good few years with my mother, don't think she ever could have foreseen that fallout.

TinselTownley · 17/02/2014 09:45

The only reason I know about my parent's affairs is because my father told me about both. Gleefully. To try and hurt me.

If the truth does out here, perhaps all the adults affected will be kind enough not to tell the children. Not everyone's vindictive.

AmIIndecisive · 17/02/2014 09:49

Affairs come out, it just happens, people don't always have to be told, I discovered my own mothers affair purely by accident and was heartbroken and in a position of should I tell my dad, not easy for a kid.

Just a warning for OP, life's hard enough without you falling out with DCs.

coffeewithcreamm · 17/02/2014 09:51

Janey's first post is spot on, I'm afraid.

TinselTownley · 17/02/2014 09:52

AmIIndecisive, that's awful. What a terrible position to be in. I think it was inevitable that you took a side, really. Poor you.

alltoomuchnow · 17/02/2014 09:58

I realise that it is difficult for some people to accept the place that I am in. It is not the case that OM doesn't love me enough or I him. We love each other greatly, difficult as that is for some people to accept or understand. We do care about our respective families - and yes, I realise just how contradicotory that sounds. This isn't a quick fling, if it was I wouldn't be where I am now. I am not questioning the depth of my love for OM or vice versa. And similarily, things are not about to come crashing down around either of us. Hard as it is to say it or believe it, our respective partners/families do not know and do not suspect. And I am not saying that with arrogance. That is how it is.

I have been fortunate to receive some very good advice on this thread and for that I am extremely thankful. I'm at a point in my life where I need to make changes. An event has happened in my family that has made me question lots of things. I said earlier that I will not reveal my affair and I stand by that for the reasons that I gave. My affair has left me feeling sad and alone, and sometimes overwhelmed by waves of desperation, despite the love that I have around me in my life. And to clarify, I don't want OM because I know, in fact we both know, that the happiness of those closest to us, above all our children, is paramount. Yes, I wanted him as a part of my life and I allowed that to happen.

I am leaving this thread now because there is really nothing more that I can say. I know what my situation is and I need to put it right. I don't feel good about myself and I judge myself on a daily basis. Thank you to those who have given me good advice, it has been a great help to me and I do want to act on it. And to those who have said that I'm here because I'm seeking to cause drama, to vent my frustration at OM, nothing more than a quick shag, seeking out others in a similar situation - then so be it. But we can not assume to know what really goes on in anyone else's minds or lives.

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 17/02/2014 10:00

Bonsoir...this is not simply a matter of divorce for the kids to deal with, it's learning the adults in their lives are capable of such deceit. It's a horrible, brutal introduction to how the adult world can be...

mammadiggingdeep · 17/02/2014 10:01

Good luck op. I hope you find peace.

Bonsoir · 17/02/2014 10:01

Stop with the drama...

Good luck, OP.

Fairenuff · 17/02/2014 10:04

If a man and a woman, both married to other people, conduct an affair but do not leave their respective spouses to be with each other, then why assume that this is because the male affair partner doesn't feel strongly enough for the female?

In this case, it is not because of the man being 'a prize'. It is because the OP has stated that she loves him. There is no assumption, just going on the facts that, if OP is in love with OM, the only reason they are not together is because he doesn't feel the same about her.

If OP was a man, I would say the same to him - that, although he might love the OW, she didn't feel the same because if she did, they would be together.

Something doesn't add up here. They have been doing this for six years. If they were in love, they would be together by now. However, I don't think that OP actually knows what love is because she is not showing it to anyone, least of all herself.

If the man is a prize, he is a prize dick to be treating both his wife and the OP like this.

TinselTownley · 17/02/2014 10:05

Good luck, OP. I hope you find some peace.

coffeewithcreamm · 17/02/2014 10:16

Yes, best of luck to you, op. it's very difficult.

normalishdude · 17/02/2014 10:30

Best of luck to the husband. Sounds like he needs it.

itsbetterthanabox · 17/02/2014 10:36

You don't have to tell the children why you are breaking up. Just tell them you don't want to be together anymore.

AmIIndecisive · 17/02/2014 10:51

Good luck OP, hope you find happiness in either situation and wish you all the best, life is not easy...

Fairenuff · 17/02/2014 10:54

She does want to be together.

There is no way she is going to give up the husband or the OM.

They will carry on until a) they are found out or b) he decides to break it off.

OP will look back at her sad life as wasted time and missed opportunities.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/02/2014 11:48

Actually, some of the posters lambasting Bonsoir on this thread for not contributing to the OP are 'guilty' of the same thing. They came onto the thread when AF did. And fawned. AF didn't post any advice but, everybody can post here, it wasn't 'the coming of the messiah'. There have been very many people here who just chose to wade in and slap the OP down at a time when she most needed support. Let's hope that if ever one of you needs support at a time in your life, that you don't run in to somebody like er...you.

MistressCeeDee... Wow, women should keep their legs shut? Your post disgusts and sickens me.

alltoomuchnow... Keep posting, this is your thread. As several of us have suggested, some counselling for you would be a very benenficial thing as you need somebody to talk to urgently given how you're feeling. There IS a way out of this and you've already made your decision. You need some help with getting that underway and extricating yourself from this mess and you'll get where you need to be.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/02/2014 11:50

Ah I see that MorrisZapp has also called that vile post. So many women-haters in the same place. Perhaps that comes from a place of fear, certainly ignorance.

ItitwrongtofancyHarryStyles · 17/02/2014 11:56

What are you actually reading Lying? Why do you keep talking about the non-existent 'women-haters' on here?

Are you on glue as you asked of others last night?

You seem to be reading a completely different thread.

And it is hugely ironic you accuse others of having an agenda!

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