Anyone else having a miserable valentines day?

[Fifyfomum]

I got no gifts which is standard and absolutely fine. But I was also once again rejected sexually last night and so am feeling very glum.

I always feel more connected after we have made love which doesn't happen very often at all anymore, I seem to have my physical needs more and more starved as the years go on which has had a huge affect on my physical appearance and on my mental stability.

So its valentines day and I feel awful. Like half a woman.

But on the other hand it's a start and as the OP has said:
We are a family. I have to try. I have told him I cannot be here again. Not ever
Should we not be supporting her in this attempt to put things right. If it doesn't work out then she can post again to get the support she needs to leave. This is peoples lives and marriages, they deserve to be given a chance to work.

I think the OP has already given him plenty of chances though? How many more does the man need?

People say things in anger that they don't wholly mean.

If we do split up, I want to be able to look at my children and say that we did everything we could to keep the family together. It's not 'for him' that I am going to try again, it's for all of us.

I admire you for that. I really do. I did the same and, while it didn't work for me, I am glad a tried on the whole.

What I do regret is staying long after the trying proved futile. I hope you both give it a really good go but I would heartily advise setting some clear limits for yourself about when enough really is in enough. The empowerment this offers will strengthen your self-esteem and actually help your efforts. This does not mean having a back-up or escape plan - which may scupper any attempts at mending things - it just means accepting that, if and when things get like this again, it's time to walk away. It might be constructive if he could find his own limits and set his own boundaries too.

Good luck.

It we are ever back here again, I am out

I cant put myself through any more of it

All the best with whatever you decide FiFy, you know your relationship better than any of us. I hope you do realise your self worth, the other posters are correct in saying you're worth more than your earlier posts implied. It sounds like you've got some semblance of control back now, I hope you keep it and are happy with whatever the outcome is.

I get you trying for your family. Totally understand that.

Good luck- wishing you all the best. Sounds cheesy but stay true to what's in your heart.

Best wishes op x

I agree with Solid What i think is going to happen is that he is probably going to have sex with you every now and again just enough to get your hopes up. And because of how emotionally abusive he has been over you "directing" him you are going to be too scared to tell him what you would like.

I could be wrong though I hope i am. Good luck and i hope you find some happiness OP

I don't think anyone can know what will happen. He is my husband and I do have my doubts but I don't think he has meant to be cruel.

JRM...agreed i'm not a psychologist but i feel like you may have some issues...

ZOMBIE Thread*
And I've reported jrm's post as inappropriately reactivating this thread.
Must be the Easter holidays!