What's your worst ever date...?

[Fozziebearmum]

I once went on an internet date...we'd been chatting for a week or two online and he seemed normal. But after 5 MINS of meeting, he went to the toilet and returned to say...

• he really liked me had just called his friends to tell them and I could meet them next time
• that he needed to be straight with me that he was having a back operation (didn't sound like a big deal so had no idea why he was even telling me)

And... It later became apparent he didn't have a BA which was listed on his profile. He'd never been to uni, but had in fact been single for a while and thought that that's what the online question had meant when asked if he has a Bachelor of Arts....

There must be better ones out there than this though!

Great typo there youmakemydreams

Omg I hadn't noticed that had to read it again. Yeah that and his stuff.

This thread makes me very glad to be gay!

Don't be too complacent & smug bubbles - I've heard the odd gruesome gay date story

I'm pretty sure there are some odd women around as well bubbles...

I gave him a blow job under the table in a restaurant

Well the thing is, I thought we were just going to the ice hockey. Ice hockey is dull, or that game was. However, some years later I found out that he told all our mutual acquaintances we had sex. Bizarre.

I went on an internet date ages ago.

I met him on a chat site and we had been talking for over a year on there. We agree'd to meet up, I was very nervous. I had only seen a really rubbish blurry pic of him. We went to a bar where i knew the doorman (did this on purpose for safety reasons)

He met me outside and jesus.. he actually looked ALOT like penfold. As he got closer i realised he had SELLOTAPED his glasses together in the middle. He was hideously over confident.

My doorman friends were sniggering all night.

pmsl

Not a date, but I was flirting with someone in a club once; he lunged in for the snog and managed to knock one of my contact lenses out with his nose. Really, how does someone do that??

Snatchoo He was a Scouser yes! Does his name start with a G?

Some of these are awful. Lavender the date drug one made my blood run cold

My worst date was with a bloke who got spectacularly drunk in a short amount of time and ended up swinging for the barman. As I hotfooted it towards the exit, I could hear my date calling the manager a 'bald cunt' Goes without saying I never saw him again and I've been too embarrassed to go back to that bar!

IfNotNowThenWhen

"Boney Wait..the date wasn't a man (i guessed that much) or the chaperone wasn't?! Confused!"

Neither were male, it was two "ladies" trying for a free meal before going clubbing.

Would it make more sense to point out that I am male?

wellthatsdoneit I am in tears of laughter. How does that happen??

My worst was when I discovered (on a third or so date after knowing the guy as a friend for years), just as we were getting down to dtd, that he had shaved his entire chest and groin region long enough ago to allow prickly re-growth all over. Might have been ok, but he kept wanting to sort of rub his chest up and down against mine as we snogged. Nipple chafage!
Nice guy, but didn't last long for all sorts of reasons.

Love "aaah Paris...." and Jean Michel Jarre.

Met a friend of my best mate's at her party. Was dazzled by booze and summer headiness, decided he seemed ace (there was a lot of booze, he had nice hair) and uncharacteristically let her set us up.

We met for coffee in soho. He was wearing white jeans. We drank coffee; within 20minutes I heard in detail about his struggles with alcohol, heroin and crack. "But enough about me" he said... Let's eat.

He led me to a restaurant in chinatown(expressing surprise that I didn't want him to hold my hand on the way; it was very awkward as I kept squirming it away and he kept grabbing for it again). His favourite, apparently. He ordered for us. HE ORDERED FOR ME. Without asking if that was ok. Wtf. Plus I was vegetarian at the time but there simply wasn't an opportunity to get a word in so a lot of food turned up - all pork. I silently, helplessly, spooned some into my mouth.

Why I didn't leave then I've no idea.

Instead I dumbly trotted off to St James Park with him, still stunned by his whole approach, still trying to squirm my hand from his clasp, trying to plot my escape. This was perhaps 90minutes after we met. He led me to a patch of grass, lay jauntily on his side, and patted for me to join him. I knelt gingerly next to him and then he interrogated me as to why I wouldn't lie down next to him. At lunchtime. On a blind date, 90mins in. He switched tactics and began to recite Yeats. I pressed my nails into the palms of my hands and stared grimly at the sky.

When he'd exhausted his mind's anthology of popular wedding readings he was obviously irritated that I remained unseduced. He then launched into an intense and really quite innacurate psychoanalysis of me, my personality, "what you are looking for" and my relationship with my dad (which must explain why I wasn't keen on lying down with strange men in the park).

Reader, I fled.*

*I took the recovering alcoholic to a pub to watch me drink gin to get over my ordeal and then I shagged him. It was awful and I still don't understand why, 10yrs later

I tried Internet dating a few years ago with some success, met a nice guy who I went out with for about 6 months (but distance between our homes and neither being able to relocate for family reasons led to us going separate ways). Now back trying to see if there is a nice guy to share my life with.

2 recent encounters from a well known dating website.......

Date 1 - really nice guy, local to me geographically, similar interests etc. Chatted for a while online, exchanged phone numbers and still got on well; arranged to meet for coffee one afternoon to see if we got on as well in person as we seemed to already. Night before he suddenly decides we have nothing in common and he's not what I'm looking for not sure how he knows that but guess it's better than telling me I'm not what he's looking for

Date 2 - seems to be a nice guy online. Arranged to meet at local pub/restaurant for a meal/chat to see how we got on. Arrived at the pub (actually drove past his car in the car park) at the agreed meeting time, he arrived 10 minutes later. Enjoyed the meal, good company but a little lacking in intelligent conversation (could put up with that). Spent a lot of the evening trying to set up his new phone so not concentrating on being on a date! Told me all about his hobby of restoring old fire engines and how many £thousands he'd spent buying the current project. Also turned out that, rather than living in XX city in same county as me, which is about the furthest I'd be prepared to meet someone from, he actually lived about another 20 miles away in a different county!!

Not sure that a mouthful of rotten teeth stumps helped attract him to me either especially when he said he couldn't afford to get them sorted out (but had enough money to spend substantially more on a battered old fire engine that he referred to as his 'baby')

At the end of the meal, he paid and refused to let me contribute to the bill - very nice of him. I knew this wasn't going to be a repeated occasion. Went our separate ways and each headed home

About an hour later, got a text asking how I felt the evening had gone and would I like to meet up over Christmas. Replied I'd had a nice evening but hadn't felt like it would develop into anything, thanked him for his company and wished him luck in his dating hunt.

Got a reply from him that he couldn't believe it, I was his perfect woman and he could easily see us marrying later this year after one evening in a neutral venue WTAF!! and I was throwing away probably my only chance of finding happiness through Internet dating (like that sort of statement is going to encourage me to change my mind!!).

Next morning there were 3 more messages begging me to change my mind; telling me it was so unfair and how this always happened to him; that he'd been looking for 3 years for his soul mate (despite only splitting from his previous partner 2 years ago!!) and we women were aiming too high and I should adjust my requirements to something more realistic!!

He still sends me messages on the dating site despite me not replying since that evening!!

Met a guy in a club. He seemed nice; we exchanged numbers. We went on a date, during which he gave me a lecture (unprompted and definitely unwelcome) on how Enoch Powell was right, rivers of blood etc etc etc.

I was very young and shy then, so I didn't give him the barrage of abuse that he so richly deserved; instead I attempted to debate the issue with him. It didn't go down well. Needless to say, I made my excuses and left.

We went for lunch in Kingston, a market town with shopping centre. I expected to head for one of the nice places overlooking the river, but our venue was a Garfunkels opposite Wilcos. Seeing the garish lighting I suggested TFI Fridays instead, but he said he couldn't afford their prices! I offered to pay my half so he agreed, but wouldn't order from the waitress until I'd confirmed I was paying half. Walking back to his car, which was miles away because he wouldn't pay for parking, he bought a huge, expensive stereo which I helped him carry.
I wish I could say that was the last straw for me, but sadly I wasted at least another year of my prime on this selfish skinflint...

More!!

Yes, more!!

I'm sitting here thanking my lucky stars I have been fortunate never to have had an experience as bad as even the best of these.

Possibly the one that involved me trying to seductively flick my knickers off and ended up with me instead falling out of bed with an almighty thump, tangled up in said knickers.

The evening got even better. I particularly enjoyed the latter portion which involved me throwing up in his toilet, wearing his shirt. I was especially seductive then. And very sure that no matter how nervous I was, I would never again go out for drinks having not eaten all day. Not clever.

We're now married and not much has changed.

These are amazing! Mine aren't so exciting:

1. I moved abroad when I was in my early 20s and my friend set me up on a blind date. What didn't occur to me until I was sitting opposite a very nice man in a swanky restaurant was that neither of us could speak the other's language, leading to lots of miming and arm-waving. Didn't even know how to ask for a second date.

1. Depressed and back in England, met a bloke who spent our first date asking about my sister and boasting about how that because he was a lawyer, he appeared respectable and could get away with taking things back to the shop when he'd been the one to break them. For some reason, he persuaded me to drop him home because he didn't want to spend his hard-earned money on petrol, and he too, like Wallison's date, had black and white Athena posters around his house. Off-putting.

1. Meeting someone at a club and arranging to meet for drinks in a bar a few days later. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember what he looked like and sat down for a drink with someone else which didn't look good when he actually appeared.

Two horrendous dating episode come to mind.

1. Had messaged and chatted to the guy for a couple of weeks. He seemed fine. Internet photos looked OK (but maybe I should have been alerted by the planking photo......?). When he turned up at the very expensive venue (chosen by him), he was a good 4+ stone heavier than his profile pic. He then proceeded to not only wolf down his own 4 courses, but ask (before I'd actually finished!!) whether I was 'going to finish all that' on my plate. He polished off every one of his own courses and anything I left of mine!!! Sheesh.

2. Third date with a very well of chap. Hold my hands up - hung on due to the amount of luxurious benefits - and, until this, he was and OK guy. DVD, curry and drinks at his place. Me, sitting crossed legged on the sofa, watching the DVD (as one does), him, patting my 'intimate area' through my jeans and saying to his dog (YES! DOG!) "Oh, Tonka, what's this!? This good?!" Skid marks as I made my escape!!!