What's your worst ever date...?

[Fozziebearmum]

I once went on an internet date...we'd been chatting for a week or two online and he seemed normal. But after 5 MINS of meeting, he went to the toilet and returned to say...

• he really liked me had just called his friends to tell them and I could meet them next time
• that he needed to be straight with me that he was having a back operation (didn't sound like a big deal so had no idea why he was even telling me)

And... It later became apparent he didn't have a BA which was listed on his profile. He'd never been to uni, but had in fact been single for a while and thought that that's what the online question had meant when asked if he has a Bachelor of Arts....

There must be better ones out there than this though!

SirRaymond - the burpy one - he wasn't a Scouser was he? I work with a bloke who is good looking but is horrendous with farting and burping.

He claims he has digestive problems - well maybe he does, but kippers and onions for lunch (warmed in a shared microwave I might add!) can't help

Omg KingRollo

I don't know about "so many women" BoneyBack, but I would say I was leaving rather than sneak out I think.
I have never gone out with a man and brought a mate just to get a free meal! That sounds horrendous!

Post separation
Feeling a bit weedy.
Went to salsa club. I am not a very good dancer but danced with man who was and who asked if I would like to meet him again. Swapped numbers.
A few days later he rang and asked to meet at club. I was surprised but said yes as it was the first date after splitting from ex h
Got there. didn't see man. Joined in class.
Later saw him dancing happily with a far better looking woman than me.
We exchanged glances and I realised at once he had called me thinking i was her.
Tried not to feel humiliated and stayed at club. He at other end of room with his date.
Ended up dancing with midget Colombian who rubbed against my thigh like an aggressive chipolata.

Went on blind date with man far removed from my life.

Or so I thought.

During course of meal it transpired that my father had led a campaign to have his then home (a wooden caravan in beautiful but public woodland) closed down. The campaign succeeded and this man had been forced to sell his caravan and move into a council flat.

King that's disgusting

I've been on many bad internet dates: one guy barely spoke, another treated it like a therapy session and told me all about his personal problems, and one guy who wanted to discuss how long it would take for someone to realise if he or I had died in the night

Kingrollo that's awful:( what a horrible man.

It reminded me of a date with a nice chap who I had met at a weekend party, invited me out, and proceeded to say how selfish someone had been that day to commit suicide under a tube train, holding him up so he missed trading.

I left, telling him why. He didn't get it.

And I had a date with a lovely man, who invited husband dsis to check me out as his mum was busy another wanker banker

And the weird chap who took me for dinner and didn't eat " I don't do cooked food" yet watched me ( he didn't drink either) then suggested we sleep together even though he was clearly just waiting like a Labrador for me to finish. It was so awkward!!!

And once, a new bloke joined us all on our Friday night after work in the square mile, seemed normal member of the company, chatted etc, shared a cab with him, felt really out of it, managed to climb up the steps of my building before collapsing at the concierge feet ( Id had two small glasses of wine, I am a lightweight). Concierge helped me to my apartment.

I didn't wake up next day til the evening, despite a friend hammering on the door on and off all morning and very worried I didn't answer any phones.

The concierge told me a bloke ( yes, the co worker) had tried to enter the building saying he was my boyfriend, luckily the concierge knew my bf and threw him out. I believe I was the victim of the date drug.

Ended up dancing with midget Colombian who rubbed against my thigh like an aggressive chipolata pmsl

I briefly did internet dating, and found out we had a mutual interest in cycling so arranged a cycle ride for our first date. He was rather monosyllabic when he turned up but nevertheless we headed out of town on our bikes. The minute we got into the countryside, we headed up a steep hill (pre-agreed route) and he disappeared into the distance, never to be seen again.

Until approx. 3 years later when we turned out to have a mutual friend and he started hanging around. I blanked him.

Recently I posted on a FB group that I could give a lift to a friend's party a few miles out of town, as long as the person was coming from the same area as me. A guy I barely knew pm'd me and said "I live in X. Can you give me a lift". No please or anything. I told him it was too far out of my way and actually went to the trouble of arranging him a lift with someone else. At the party he was clearly in quite a strop with me and made a sarcastic remark about me letting him down. He then defriended me on FB and glares at me and pushes past me if he is in the same vicinity as me, without speaking. A mutual friend told me he had a crush on me and expecting me to go out of my way to drive him to a party and back was his way of asking me out!!

IfNotNowThenWhen

it wasn't a man :)

Yep, another internet dating experience here!

1. The man who took me to a Wetherspoons. Didn't off to buy me a drink (and we ate there), went to the loo and never came back.

2. The man I met after lots of emails/phone calls who was pissed as a fart. As we sat down in the pub he admired my manicured nails and asked if I'd scratch his balls with them. I politely declined. He then insisted I go back to his so he could try and get me drunk (and I couldn't drive home). I ended up staying. I woke up in the night and he was sat on a chair, naked, staring at me. I though he was going to murder me.

3. I get off the bus and a man taps me on the shoulder; let me just set the scene....he told me he was 30 but in real life he was pushing 40. He was wearing a fedora, a ski jacket, farah slacks and a pair of those slip on shoes with a tassel on the front...with tennis socks. I thought I was being accosted by a vagrant. Anyhoo, we got to the pub where I found he'd omitted to tell me about his Tourette's. After trying to have a conversation with him where he shouted 'fuck' every other word and the pub watched on as we were surely the best entertainment in ages, he told me I could let him meet my children as 'HE WASN'T A PAEDOPHILE OR ANYTHING'. I really wanted to fall in a hole and let it swallow me. Needless to say we didn't have a second date.

Boney Wait..the date wasn't a man (i guessed that much) or the chaperone wasn't?! Confused!

Oh this is making me remember a dreadful weekend from my teenage years.

I'd gone out with a guy when about I was 16 and he was 18ish,nothing serious and when it finished there was no hard feelings but we didn't really see each other for a long time. Our paths crossed a couple of years later and he asked me to go to a wedding with him but very clearly just as friends. It was a drive away and needed an overnight stay and I had no money. He told me that we would be staying at his friends hotel and I'd have my own room .

Anyway, turns out it was just a tiny service(about 12 people max) not a wedding but his friends mum and dad renewing vows after an affair. He was invited but not with a plus one, they actually had to draw up an extra chair for me and everyone was clearly thinking 'who the hell is she?' It was followed by the most excruciating party with the mad family, loads happened including one guy being taken to hospital after his wife broke his foot by throwing a frozen joint of meat at him in a rage.

At the end of the night guess what... No hotel, no separate room just lots and lots of pressure all night for me to shag him on his friends living room floor which was the only space available for me to sleep. I was pretty scared but must have fallen asleep because I was woken up by the sound of him wanking next to me.OMG it was awful.

All in the days before mobile phones and I felt so utterly trapped all weekend. It was topped off by the fact that our transport was a lift from the foot breaking wife who drove like an absolute maniac.

Not my date but DH & I went out for a drink yesterday & a couple came to sit near us, quite obviously on a first date. A did have a giggle when he asked her what her ambitions in life were and went on to tell his... He wanted to do the inca trail - in Mexico!

My first teenage date this one:

Guy at school had been smitten with me for years but I had absolutely zero interest in him. He asked me one day if I wanted to see the new Robin Hood Film. I said yes I did - not realising the implication was that he meant see it with him. When he immediately started to excitedly make plans I didn't have heart to do what I should have done and set him straight. His parents knew my parents, word got to them and before long it had become 'The Big Date' with my mum taking me out to buy a new outfit, lifts being arranged etc. Of course all our friends at school knew about 'The Big Date' and I was mortified.

Come the night of 'The Big Date' my tactic was to leave him with a clear understanding that there would be no further dates and nothing would ever happen between us. He was a complete gentleman and I was frosty and uncommunicative throughout. I particularly recall that my dad, who gave us a lift home, had to stop for petrol, leaving us in the car alone for hours a few minutes of painful silence. The date was never spoken of again.

The epilogue to the story is I recently found out that the guy is now in a civil partnership. Now I do have a slightly more nuanced understanding of sexuality than this, but a little bit of me can't help thinking I put him off women for life.

Several dates with someone who on paper seemed perfect (don't they all) and in person seemed alright, until I noticed that their story just didn't add up. Turned out they were a compulsive liar (about small and big subjects) and complete internet dating addict to boot (foolishly started messaging one of my friends - who he had met - and who was using the same site). He wanted to be 'exclusive' but turned out to be seeing someone different most nights of the week and messaging loads more! Had some sort of social anxiety, and this was the only way he could meet people, apparently . Tempted to post username to see how many more mners met him ...

When i was about 20 I went as a date to a wedding in with a lovely guy after we had been out a couple of times. It wasn't local so we Had agreed to share a room but i made it clear i was nit ready to take things further in the bedroom.
We arrived went to the wedding had a lovely time drinking and dancing with his friends and eventually ended up back at the hotel in bed where he was the perfect gentleman and we fell asleep.
I woke in the early hours to a strange warmth then realised it was wet! He had weed himself in the night and i was now lying in it. I spend the rest of the night on the floor under a coat. i never did see him again

"you smell faintly of botty". Cannot stop laughing at that.

fetchezlavache! ha ha, like it's difficult! i used to keep score when my dad played cricket when i was about 9

The guy i met over the phone at work who, on our eagerly anticipated date, turned our to be about 4'11 in a multi coloured pin stripe suit and then managed to go on a racist tirade as our first drinks arrived. My friend was arriving after an hour, just in case (the days before mobiles) and I had to resist the urge to run up to strangers mouthing 'help me'. All Bar One in Clapham Junction will never be the same. It was an excruciating evening.

I agreed to a second date with a chap, because on our first date he seemed nice, had taken me to a cool bar and a gig for a trendy band. But mainly because I felt I owed him another as I thought I'd been horrendous - at one point I FELL ASLEEP!

By the end of the the second date, I felt less guilty. He might have seemed like a nice chap, but he was really dull, didn't have much to say and shouted at a big issue seller (because he was only "targeting" him because it was obvious he was trying to impress me).

By the way my best ever date came from internet dating. Amazing chemistry, great fun, boozy, loads in common. We got married in 2012 and our first baby is due in April.

Where do I start.

1. The one who dropped an E before our date.

2. The one who made me wait while he met his dealer.

3. The one who'd been banned for drink driving twice.

4. The one who'd been banned for drink driving once.

5. The one who was so drunk he stripped in front of my friends..

6. The one who nearly got into a fight on our date.

7. The one who turned up at my house the next week drunk and with a head injury he couldn't remember getting...

8. The one who said I had a fat stomach then propositioned me.

9. The one who said he was looking for ''a distraction'' and asked when I last had sex.

10. The one who told me about all the women he fancied (ie. not me) then tried to trick me into staying at his flat for the night.

11. The one who locked his front door and wouldn't let me out of his house (!) luckily I got away!

12. The one who suggested a night in with a DVD and guess what kind of DVD it was....

There are more disasters but I think my shocking bad luck with men explains why I am currently single and not trying online dating (only 1 of those was from online dating).

Can I just add that all these men seemed were acquaintances or friends of friends, or I met them through work, they were all good looking and had good jobs or careers and seemed like nice normal guys when I initially met them....

Interestingly the majority of men I've dated have turned out to have addictions to / a major liking for drink or drugs when I'd thought it was just a recreational habit. Why do I attract addicts and men who only want sex? :(

I tried online dating. God it was mostly awful.
I had what was on paper a great date. A Chinese take away on a harbour wall with beautiful views over a summer sunset. With a man that loves himself more than he has ever loved anyone ooh apart from his flash car. Who had dumped the love of his life, his soulmate because he's shallow (his words) and she was a few years older than him and she was starting to look it.

Oh and the guy that suggested we book a hotel for the end of our first date after we had been speaking for a while. He lived as a lodger and I lived 25 miles away... Oh hold on he's downstairs playing the Wii with the dc and has started moving his stiff in actually his intentions were very honourable re the hotel and it was an amazing night of snogging like teenagers and no sex.