Confronting the Other Woman?

[PhoenixRising1979]

I've posted this within my other thread 'Partner help please?' but it's sort of a different issue...

We ended up bumping into this woman last night. Myself and my partner were walking through a crowd holding hands when I saw her and stopped, with my partner trying to pull me away. I couldn't resist saying something when I saw her. She was talking to a small group of people all sitting down and I stood in front of her and told her she needs to get a life and get a grip and to stay away from him

She said nothing initially, just sat there looking really confused. Then we went to walk off with me still shouting at her, and she got up at tapped partner on the shoulder and said to him that they were going to have a conversation about this and she'd not done anything. He shouted at her to fuck off and fuck off and leave him alone at work too. I was shoving her in the arm telling her to get a life and to stay away from us, and she kept with the confused face saying she had done nothing and then went and sat back down

I don't know what I've done or what to make of it

[MiniTheMinx]

She told him to leave her alone, he ignores it, now he tells her to leave him and...she ignores it. The relationship here seems to be between these two...so where do you fit into it?

[GarlicReturns]

she told him that she wanted nothing to do with him again and he approached her twice, ... him shouting at her for not talking to him and her saying she had nothing to say

Oh, god, Phoenix :( Your H has been making a total wanker of himself over her, and has allowed you to believe she's trying to get into his pants ....

Sorry. I know it's not what you want to hear.

[handfulofcottonbuds]

Your partner sounds a delight. I can't see what this woman has done and I have a confused face too. How can any man speak to a woman like that? Shouting and swearing, not on in my book.

She may not report this but it sounds like you have lots of issues in your relationship that need sorting out.

Also, I hate it when 'mutual friends' get involved. Look at what it's done. Some friends just get off on the drama of someone else's misery. Stop listening to gossip.

[LondonNicki]

Your behaviour was all a bit Jerry Springer I must say.

He slept with her and then joins in a public verbal assault on her to cover his ass?? This man does not sound worth fighting over....

[Butterscotchcrumbles]

OP, you need to leave him, leave this drama and build a life for your and your DC's away from this aggro. But I don't think you will do that.

[Tonandfeather]

This is absurd.

Either your partner was having an affair with this woman or he was trying to.

You have uncorrobated gossip that he tried to sideline her at work and got into trouble for it.

He's admitted nothing.

You've always checked his phone even before this.

Now you've assaulted a woman who allegedly got stitched up at work by a colleague who's now swearing and shouting at her in public while his partner assaults her.

Your partner might lose his job for this.

Rightly so by the looks of it.

[PhoenixRising1979]

Garlic - what do you mean?

Mamafratelli - I don't think she'd go to the managers again because it wouldn't show her in a good light either. He's much more 'significant; than her role there too, he's well liked

[talksomesense]

You really need to talk to your partner. You are not getting the full picture here by any stretch. You know that in your gut too which is why you're trying to work out ow's confusion. He's clearly telling her one thing and you a completely different story.

[str8tothepoint]

Sorry but I'm gonna say it - bunny boiler

Searching for her on Facebook, verbally assaulting her and possibly physically too??

You have a very long way to go, good luck x

[Tonandfeather]

What are you on about?

How would this not show her in a good light?

[MadBusLady]

Well, if I was their boss I'd want to get rid of both of them. Does anyone get any work done at all at their place?

[Tonandfeather]

Fuck off with the bunny boiler comment, whoever that is. Women-hating bullcrap, that is.

[PhoenixRising1979]

I don't mean to sound Jerry Springer or deranged I'm just so overwhelmed with rage. He told me as we were getting ready to go last night that she won't leave him alone and showed me every text since she messaged him asking to talk away from work on Viber in October when I blocked her

[rainbowsmiles]

You appear to have some communication issues. You have failed to discuss everything openly and honestly with your ratbag partner and you just start shouting and shoving this woman??? Last nights fiasco has brought you no closer to discovering the truth. What was the point in that???

You need to stop. You need to sit down with this guy who sounds a real charmer shouting at this woman to leave you alone when she had been minding her own business. It was you who bothered her. Anyway you need to tell your partner everything and he owes you an explanation. Stop hiding from the truth.

She should report your partner to hr again.

[KatieScarlett2833]

I hope she goes to HR and has your horrible partner sacked for ongoing sexual harassment.
That's exactly what I would do.
And BTW, you have completely humiliated yourself. Nice.

[str8tothepoint]

You seem to idolise your DP and totally slaughter OW when you know nothin about her

He's pulling the wool over your eyes big time. If he verbally assaulted her too like you mentioned then regardless of his job role it's still unacceptable when you have no proof of an actual affair

[Mamafratelli]

I'm totally confused. Did they sleep together?

[GarlicReturns]

Do you mean about my advice & having the bottle for it?

I would ring her up, without H present, and apologise like mad for making a scene. I'd say it was all very confusing about the rows they've been having at work, I was hearing one story from people and another story from him. I'd ask her, very nicely, if she'd mind coming for a coffee with me to fill me in. And I would listen carefully to anything she has to say.

[PhoenixRising1979]

Last time something happened when they weren't talking for 8 weeks, I heard she got a lot of shit talked about her and that it was because he knocked her back

And now it could look like she IS stalking him by going to this club night when she knew he'd be there?

[MsWinnieBaygo]

You and your partner approached her completely unprovoked - you both sound like you acted deranged and unhinged and handled the situation with no class or dignity. There didn't have to a scene - you created one. Based on unsubstantiated gossip. No wonder she looked confused - your partner sounds like an embarrassing twat.

[KatieScarlett2833]

She can go wherever she likes, does not give you the right to harass and assault her.

[MsWinnieBaygo]

She is stalking him?? I've heard it all now. Wake up OP

[PhoenixRising1979]

We stayed in a hotel last night but after that happened we couldn't exactly have a nice time away from the children for a night. All he has said is that she won't leave him alone and he's not done anything

[Mamafratelli]

No, it looks like she was having a night out when his crazy wife went ape shit at her for no reason.

[HMG83]

Sorry OP but you sound unhindged!

YOU approached HER in the club, trying to make it sound like she's doing the stalking is very odd.

To be honest, I think your partner is spinning you a yarn.

My advice....stay away from her and forget about her. You have no evidence that she's actually done anything.