I beat my husband today please help me

[Ashamedofviolence]

I have NC

I don't want to be flamed. I know I was wrong.

We had a bad night and a bad morning, both stressed and argued. It got out of hand and I punched him repeatedly. I feel dreadful. He was calm and left the house.

We have huge problems that I can't go into as it will out me, its no excuse I know but we are both under immense pressure, tired and stressed.
I love him and I feel so ashamed. What do I do now? Where do I seek help for this, I don't want it to happen again.

If he had done it to me I'd be terrified and would leave.

How can I ever make things better?

Anti-depressants can work a lot faster than prevention for anxiety and depression and there is no shame in taking them. You might find your outlook better and feeling better able to tackle the issues you face if you had a prescription, but talk it over with your doctor.

Dh passed in 2008, he hasno no claims.

No points or anything and has not been disqualified.

OP that's madness. I just don't see how it can be so much in that case.

We went on a comparison site and dh has changed a few times for 'better' deals he was with tesco then insure the box and now bell.

Do you know his password to the insurance site ?

Id check the quote and rate , if you can .

Im afraid I agree with tulip the insurance shouldnt be so highn.

The insurance company might have made a mistake somewhere ?

I've just used CarCompare, putting in the info you've shared on this thread and making the rest up (2002 car, £250 waiver, etc.) Admiral came in at £1464.92; this is without breakdown cover but you can usually get that from your credit card company. Cheapest with all benefits was BG, at £2001.28. There were 13 estimates under £3,500.

Is it time to revisit your insurance again?

He has fully comp, I don't know any other details but I can ask him to check again tonight. I think it was about six months ago when he changed to bell insurance.

I just assumed it was e loss of his no claims and the accident. If we can get that bill down it will be a huge help Thankyou.

I did put in the loss of no-claims and the shunt :) Good luck! x

At the price you are paying it would make more sense to ditch the car and have your husband buy a moped to get to work.

You said your general appt taxi fare was £7. Well the cost of the car insurance (for a car you can't drive to get the kids around) would pay for 500 taxi fares and you wouldn't be paying out for petrol.

I can't see that not having a car is really going to inconvenience you at all as it seems you rarely have access to it.

Excellent Garlic. OP let us know how you get on discussing this with OP. I'm sure he will be fairly please to make £2000+ in an afternoon!

Have been watching this thread for a while and I do just want to point out that it is entirely possible that the car insurance is that much.

I have been driving for 17+ years, have 5 years NCB (actually have 17 but the will only recognise the last 5 due to company car) and my insurance is £1300 on a 10 year old car.

Saw the gp. Anti d upped to 30mg citalopram and I have to go back in a week.

Asked about migraines and they said its fine to continue what I'm taking. Cbt was suggested but I'm not sure I already have counselling and its just another appt to get to and arrange childcare for.

Told pre school I just had a bad week and if its ok dd will do I've mornings which was ok.

Five not ive

I'm also considering speaking to the manager and seeing if it would be allowed for Dd key worker to occasionally babysit dd for us. Obviously due to money it wouldn't be often but I was thinking its somebody who knows how to look after her ( between meals as they don't do jabs for her there) but it might be that bit extra help I need until I can get ds a place in April.

That's a really good idea.

Bet it feels good to be taking positive steps!

Feels good to be doing something. Even after a rubbish day I feel a bit more positive that I might be sorting something out.

Well done!

Now the trick is to focus on these positives, however small they seem.

Baby steps will still take you exactly where you need to go.

Today proved to me that dh will NEVER give up work.

I was stuck outside at the shops, unable to see with s in the double buggy, phoned him and he couldn't leave work. Luckily dsis was nearby I phoned her in desperation not expecting help but she came and helped me home. She had an appointment but waited to try and help with dds jab, she can't do them but I couldn't see and had to get her to check the dose and help me get the needle in dd!

I was sick, my head hurt and dh just said he was very busy at work. Goodness knows how I looked after dcs but I did. H didn't even finish early today

Why couldn't you see?

Maybe he was very busy at work? Not everyone can down tools and leave work just like that?

Bad migraine Sally

Today proved to me that dh will NEVER give up work.

Hooray!

Now you know that he won't give up work, you can forget about that and focus on all the great stuff you're doing to help yourself.

I usually only lose my vision in one eye (sparkly lines etc) but now also get half the vision blanked out in the other eye too so it was horrible. I panicked though which didn't help and couldn't feel half my face and body either so was in a mess.

op, your DH works. He can't just down tools and walk out. I know you were desperate. I really feel for you so much. But surely you see that when you are in work, you can't just dash off. It surely would have taken him some time to reach you?

To me it seems like a case of misery likes company. You are not happy. You want your husband to join you in your unhappiness by giving up his job. I think you husband needs to raise his game, no question about it, but I don't think giving up work is the answer. I see an extremely unhappy couple, whereby the husband is deeply resentful and the wife is just plain unhappy, but at least she got her husband to join her in feeling like this.

There are avenues for help. I suggest you take advantage of whatever help is on offer and only when that is exhausted, do you urgently push for your husband to give up work.

It was a rare occurrence that dsis helped me, I know it would have taken dh an hour to reach me but had dsis not been there I don't think there would have been an option as I couldn't inject dd safely alone.

And yes, sometimes I do feel like why should it just be me miserable and as silly as it sounds I really envy the fact he has time away from dcs. I can't lie.