I beat my husband today please help me

[Ashamedofviolence]

I have NC

I don't want to be flamed. I know I was wrong.

We had a bad night and a bad morning, both stressed and argued. It got out of hand and I punched him repeatedly. I feel dreadful. He was calm and left the house.

We have huge problems that I can't go into as it will out me, its no excuse I know but we are both under immense pressure, tired and stressed.
I love him and I feel so ashamed. What do I do now? Where do I seek help for this, I don't want it to happen again.

If he had done it to me I'd be terrified and would leave.

How can I ever make things better?

but you see differently scottishmummy and you are right i spose?

Scottishmummy being like Xenia - only in her dreams! As for not knowing who she is - her nose must be 6ft long.

'If this were male perpetrator it would be wholly different thread'

If this was a male perptrator it would be a wholly different SITUATION.

FFS. Go bang another drum.

Thanks for explanation LucyLasticBand. Am beginning to wish hadn't even started reading this thread. Actually not understanding lots of abbreviations on MN either (only been here a week). Apologies... back to the subject in hand...

Hedge - get DH to agree to having all 4 at set times, at least twice a week, so you can go for driving lessons, find the money somewhere, even if you have to sell something! Do as horse suggested and book 2hr slots. You can overcome your fear of driving, I know you can :)

It's not the whole answer, of course it's not, but it's a start.

Ok,change the protagonists,male perpetrator,female hit.retain the rest post
How is situation different when male is perpetrator?do you call him lovely
Do you consider the social circumstance,did female provoke?

Chillie - hang in there, it will all become familiar quickly and in the meantime, just ask :) Most of us are nice - honestly! Keep 'just saying what you think' and help end the madness around here.

It has everything to do with size and build and nothing to do with a penis - ffs. stop being so obtuse. It doesn't become (even) you.

WorraLiberty . No.. we had a hypothetical conversation (never hit each other or even thought about it). So it's actuality very hard to put yourself in the position of someone that WOULD hit someone. I am not sad. I am a lovely person. So is husband. So bugger off!

Errm I'll be staying right where I am thanks.

I said it's sad (ie your post) and to be frank, anyone even hypothetically accepting 'general punching in the tummy region' from a frustrated partner, does sound as though they have low self esteem.

I don't know if you have a DS but if you do, would either of you accept him being hit by another child as long as it wasn't 'in the face or the willy region'?

He's not bothered, he understands - stop being so fucking aggrieved on his behalf. It's pathetic.

Do something useful for once and help the OP or STFU.

^^ that was to SM, sorry for the x post worra.

I got that Chipping

scottishmummy you appear to have a missing empathy gene.

Leave this unfortunate woman alone.....Please.

FFS, Scottishmummy how many people actually called her lovely? How many people exactly and why are you talking as if ALL the posters are responsible for that comment?

Treat commenters as individuals and stop holding us all accountable for each other's words.

So next time a woman explains her dh who punched her is ok guy,she's staying
The posters,should refrain from further comment,should stfu
No one should feel aggrieved on behalf of an another adult who's been hit

scottishmummy bullying is not always physical.

Online bullying is pretty grim too.

The irony of 'sponging off the state' in this situation is that if both parents stepped outside for a moment and were killed by falling roof tiles the kids would be institutionalised somewhere if no other family or private carer came forward.

The cost of that care to the taxpayer, I imagine, would then be on the order of 40-60 thousand of pounds PER CHILD.

Did she bully him as well as hit him?
How would you know that

so, Hedgehog, you're going to

1. look into learning to drive and
2. shout if you need help with lifts
3. give up pressuring DH to leave his job
4. go to the GP to pressure social services into supporting you

Make a list. It always helps. :)

WOW... I don't like this. Never hit a soul, husband never hit anyone either. WorraLiberty... not sure what to say to you. This thread is not about us at all. And I don't like being made to look silly. No it's not OK for a child or an adult to hit anyone anywhere. I said HYPOTHETICAL.... things happen, life gets crap, sometimes things happen that you can't cope with (luckily not to us, we're jolly happy... we were trying to help).

Good start isn't it horse :)

1. Get GP to check out if all meds/painkillers for migraines etc are compatible.

Scottishmummy. It is possible to find something wrong (hitting, whoever does it and under what circumstances) and yet still wish to be supportive to the person who did it in trying to address what they did, how they came to do it and to help them not get in that state again.

Kicking people when they are down and already kicking themselves is horrible behaviour.

And remember the car is for the kids, so if DH can't take you to the doctor's you can ask someone else to drive you there.

Chipping I do wish this lot would stop spitting their beer, this really isn't the time for it. Perhaps it's time for a new thread Hedgehog with a more boring title like 'can someone help me with my finances'? At least you won't get the bleaters and ranters on there.

Yes, that is quite important I think as I've been taking a few different things. Wondered last week when I had a migraine if something had reacted to another med as they haven't been my 'usual' migraines, I've had more symptoms with them (shaky arm and muddling my words badly as well as the usual visual/ numbness etc). I will ask thegp if everything I'm taking is ok.

Chilli I wasn't trying to make you look silly.

You made a post about a hypothetical conversation and your DH's reply, somewhat minimised DV.

I simply asked (due to his hypothetical reply) if he had low self esteem.

I think that's a perfectly valid question given his response, but you somehow took offence and told me to bugger off.

So it's best we leave the conversation there really.