I beat my husband today please help me

[Ashamedofviolence]

I have NC

I don't want to be flamed. I know I was wrong.

We had a bad night and a bad morning, both stressed and argued. It got out of hand and I punched him repeatedly. I feel dreadful. He was calm and left the house.

We have huge problems that I can't go into as it will out me, its no excuse I know but we are both under immense pressure, tired and stressed.
I love him and I feel so ashamed. What do I do now? Where do I seek help for this, I don't want it to happen again.

If he had done it to me I'd be terrified and would leave.

How can I ever make things better?

All this "Go to the police, go to social services, leave your children with him..." what if he doesnt want to be a LP to them? I have to agree that anyone, man or woman, who leaves their children with the person who hit them and doesnt contact at all, is not concerned about the childrens welfare.

This site has become odd at times .

The Op has done something terrible .she knows that , and is asking for help as she acted out of character . She has a young baby.

She hasnt demonised her dh or minimised her wrong doing , but some are being very hard on her.

Instead of directing her to a helpful solution . Putting herself in police cell isnt going to help , and if shes breastfeeding the baby would have to go with her ffs . Its better , as this is an insolated incident that she seeks help instead of turning herself in to the police.

Yes Worra it is shocking however this is not an atypical case of dv in my opinion. I have a son. I hope I've raised him to be thoughtful which would include taking his kids with him if he felt endangered. Not leaving them behind.

And you don't think that trying to grab your grandchildren whilst he's being repeatedly punched, is going to put them in danger?

I've skimmed the thread and can't immediately see that this has been mentioned, apols if it has - I would contact Respect which is an association of dv perpetrator programmes. They will be able to find you a programme in your area. Your husband could contact them too as they have a helpline for male victims of dv.

0808 802 40 40

www.respect.uk.net/

I wouldn't recommend Relate as their counsellors have no training in dv.

You're not the only one posting her who has experience of it, bogey so you don't get a medal for that one.

And LEM I have given her advice. She's ignoring everyone.

Most of you here are the reason men don't report DV and you're also the reason MN is sometimes seen as a man hater's playground.

You do realise some of you that you've diagnosed OP with pnd with no information.

You have accused her dh of being abusive with no information. I feel like I'm on a different planet here!

Does she have a young baby Droves?

If there is some massive back story here that some of you are party to whilst the rest of us aren't, then perhaps you should all go back to whichever long running thread this relates to and stop wasting everyone else's time.

Rooners if she can't contain her anger with her DH, what about the kids?

There's going to be a much bigger size difference there, so to me it really doesn't matter.

DV is DV no matter who is on the end of it

Good and helpful post Twinkelstein, I hope op has seen it.

Of course it matters rooners it's just common sense isn't it?

and if shes breastfeeding the baby

What baby??

Yes ladyintheradiator you are right, but please I don't want to be outed.

Worra I would hope that he wouldn't be in this situation. However hypothetically I would hope he would be helpful and this situation wouldn't arise.

I sound even worse now but reading the posts I feel op has no help and instead of support she gets goaded and told she can't cope.

I don't KNOW who the OP is, I suspect though but even before that it was quite clear what the story was.

It was quite clear was it?

So there's a massive backstory that some of you know?

Nobody saw fit to explain though?

For the record I have no idea who this poster is.

So if your son isn't as helpful as his wife would want him to be HighBrows, he deserves to have the shit beaten out of him by her?

Is that what you're saying?

I genuinely don't know but it does come across that way.

Mintyy - there isn't a long running thread, there's a history of shorter threads which the OP generally leaves when it's pointed out to her that she'd be better off without him.

OP - please let him stay gone. Or leave yourself if he comes back. You know he won't want sole care of the children - or any care at all.

And with him out of the picture you'll get more help from social services, and more money too.

Yes Mintyy to me and others it was.

Ok ashamed, so if there are people here on Mumsnet who know you, why not get your support from them?

OK so a bit of forensics reveals that someone who knows OP but won't out her agrees with the following statement:

If you are who I suspect you are OP, I hope he doesn't come back because you're better off without him. And I hope you didn't hurt yourself punching him.

That is not what I'm saying.

And those of us who recognised the OP aren't going to give the backstory so as not to out her.

Back story or not, the OP has clearly stated her DH is not violent.

She's clearly stated that she is

Therefore she needs help and the kids need to be protected until help is sought.