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Original poster

Hiring male escort?

174 replies

Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 19:25

Blush

Hear me out before judging, I haven't had sex for five years and I'd really like to. Not loads, but I do feel quite 'up for it' when ovulating Blush

There was a storyline on this on a TV box set I've been watching this Christmas and I thought it was nonsense at first but have done some research and it does seem I could 'hire' one for two hours for £60!

Terribly wrong or a good way of my needs being met?

OP posts:
GarlicReturns · 04/01/2014 20:52

... oh, I've just wondered ... As you've been a prostitute, is this something about wanting to turn the tables for a change? You being the one who gets to set the rules & call the tune?

Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 20:55

I think, thinking about it carefully, it's not exactly about control but about safety and about knowing there's no 'real' emotional connection.

Let's say I sign up on one of the sites mentioned: I get inundated (not because I'm beautiful, but because of the m/f ratio) with replies, I have to find one that's my 'type' and contact him and organise where to meet and all that, I just can't be bothered! Grin

While with an escort, I find one quickly, decide a time and get rid of him in an hour Blush

I just don't want wining and dining if its not a relationship - does that make more sense?

OP posts:
MrsBungle · 04/01/2014 20:55

Why is a male prostitute called an 'escort' yet a female one is just a prositute? Hmm

Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 20:55

An escort, Garlic thank you Wink and no, definitely not :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 20:56

Cross post Mrs :)

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 04/01/2014 21:00

Fairenuff, you evidently have a problem with sex which is, well, fair enough, but some are happy providing a paid service and paying for a service.

No I have no problem with sex which is given freely. When it is bought, there are other matters to consider.

If someone is being forced that is entirely different but that isn't the case here - 'k?

How do you know if he is being forced? He wouldn't exactly tell you would he. He can take viagra help maintain an erection even if he finds you repulsive. He can go through the motions and say all manner of lovely things to you.

But you know, you've done it yourself.

Not sure why you're asking, you really don't want opinions do you.

Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 21:03

Well, I wouldn't say I don't want opinions, but you do seem fairly fixed in your view and I didn't ask on an opinion based topic. I was asking with specific regard to me :)

I'm not sure if 'but you know, you've done it yourself' is intended insultingly or not, but I'm not ashamed of my past, no matter how much people try to make me. I'm lucky that my life is very stable now and so I don't need to work as a sex worker. It was also a pretty long time ago and not hugely relevant to the discussion other than that I'm not ignorant of the lifestyle and do not have any personal or political objection to sex being 'bought or sold.'

I obviously respect your right to your opinion, though.

OP posts:
monkeynuts123 · 04/01/2014 21:06

Just be aware that you might feel a bit odd about it after, maybe think about how you will feel in the days and weeks that follow.

Fairenuff · 04/01/2014 21:09

No it was not meant as an insult, it was meant that you can draw on your own experiences. You know that someone paid to have sex will not be interested in you.

You also know that people in the sex industry are not all 'happy hookers'. I am surprised that you would want this for yourself.

So, you were asking what, specific to you? Whether it is terribly wrong or a good way of your needs being met? I suppose, from your completely selfish point of view it's a good way to meet your needs. If you don't care whether or not you are involving yourself in the abuse of others.

Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 21:11

I suppose then, drawing on my own experiences, I never once felt abused, and nor did any of the girls I worked alongside. :)

OP posts:
GarlicReturns · 04/01/2014 21:13

I feel it's 100% relevant, because you have become accustomed to the sexual commodification of people. That's why you don't get the big difference that some of us see, between a sex/money transaction and a sex/sex transaction. I see the latter as fair & equal, but not the former. You seem to have it the other way around.

I'm trying to catch up on Sherlock, so won't get any further into the subtleties of why I dislike prostitution - more specifically, the use of prostitutes - but there are plenty of articulate posters who will, if you're at all interested :)

LineRunner · 04/01/2014 21:14

Chippy, ain't you?

And yes prostitution in my view is always exploitative.

Fairenuff · 04/01/2014 21:14

Even so, Wolf you have to acknowledge that abuse exists within the industry and if you pay for sex you are possibly contributing to that because you cannot know who is being coerced and who isn't.

ImperialBlether · 04/01/2014 21:16

But why would you want sex with a man who wouldn't have sex with you unless you paid him?

Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 21:16

Sex-sex is lovely but not (IMO of course!) amongst those who frequent casual sex sites! Grin I'd LOVE to have sex in a normal, loving relationship - failing that, I go without, but I've been without for ages now and wouldn't mind!

Enjoy Sherlock Wine

OP posts:
Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 21:20

Yes, I do see what you mean Fair

Usually though, and I do mean usually, the abuse you speak of is on the streets quite literally. I would absolutely judge someone who picked a girl from a red light district as it is sordid and they are, sadly, abused, I don't condone that for a minute. It happens to younger men to (usually by a man rather than a woman) but I don't 'know' as much about that aspect than my own experiences, of course.

I worked for an escort agency from 2006 to 2009, I met many women also working as escorts and while we had different reasons for wanting to work as an escort, we all did from choice.

Imperial, why wouldn't I? I see it purely as a service, I doubt it thrills my hairdresser when she does my highlights, but that doesn't upset me. I recognise and respect that not everyone views sex like this, but I do.

OP posts:
GarlicReturns · 04/01/2014 21:21

Just a quickie, Wolf [lol] ... Have you ever actually had a random shag without money? You sound almost judgemental of the idea. Which is odd.

Why would you want sex with a man who wouldn't have sex with you unless you paid him? - I know! That sounds like an insult to me! Confused

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA · 04/01/2014 21:22

OP: I saw on a tv box set that women can buy sex with escorts and haven't had sex for five years so i thought i might go for it, but it feels "terribly wrong"

Mnet: Well you need to be careful, why not have a ONS or get a vibrator.

OP: But its not the same - i want no strings sex with someone i choose, etc

Mnet: Be careful, you need to consider safety, the motive of the "escort" how you will feel about yourself

OP: What do you lot know i used to be an escort myself and its all good fun Hmm

Please - try harder (you used to be an escort but you had to see it on a tv box set to realise that there were male escorts too? again Hmm

You are either a) a troll b) on glue or c) a journo

GarlicReturns · 04/01/2014 21:23

Oh, okay, you answered Imperial Grin

This is making me think about breaking my 8-year duck (Shock) by getting laid for free ... !

Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 21:23

Anyway, look, I am clearly offending people with this which I hope you will believe is NOT what my intention was, I would just love some male attention for an hour or so and perhaps got carried away, I may not agree with all the views expressed but do respect them and hope you all have a prosperous 2014 Wine

OP posts:
LineRunner · 04/01/2014 21:24

A chippy one, LEM.

Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 21:25

Garlic god no, no judgement - that'd be rich, from me! Grin I just don't fancy it myself!

I will confess that I have never actually had sex that I wasn't paid for, which is sad, in a way.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 04/01/2014 21:25

Goodness.

Original poster
Wolfinthewintertree · 04/01/2014 21:26

I'm neither troll, nor journalist, nor - what was the other one? Not me, anyway.

I'm being 'chipper' as I'm trying to keep things light, I honestly don't want to rub everyone up the wrong way but have done so anyway ... so sorry about that, genuinely. HNY.

OP posts:
GarlicReturns · 04/01/2014 21:27

I have never actually had sex that I wasn't paid for - Aha! [lightbulb!]

Then, of course sex/money is the obvious transaction for you.

Go on, push a boat out, try something new Grin

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