Hiring male escort?

[Wolfinthewintertree]

Hear me out before judging, I haven't had sex for five years and I'd really like to. Not loads, but I do feel quite 'up for it' when ovulating

There was a storyline on this on a TV box set I've been watching this Christmas and I thought it was nonsense at first but have done some research and it does seem I could 'hire' one for two hours for £60!

Terribly wrong or a good way of my needs being met?

You are talking about hiring a prostitute not an escort. You will not know why this person is giving sex in exchange for money. Are you really ok with that?

'Horrified'

Ah now, Any, be fair ... I DID say anonymity was important to me! And this post doesn't go with my usual 'ooh kittens are cute!' ones!

The thing is, you don't know why anyone is doing anything, I had a bloke in Asda the other day beg me to have him wash my car, he was obviously desperate for the money - does that make it immoral for him to wash my car?

I know people see sex as different, I'm not sure why though, to tell the truth.

Get on plenty of fish.com!

I am being very fair. I am welcoming you to Mumsnet. Are we helping with your piece at all ?

A former [male] lover of mine queried quite openly why women don't pay for sex more often - for all the reasons you've outlined about the advantages of it being about you/very boundaried etc.

So, in your circumstances I'd want to think about:

• safer sex supplies and STI testing if you're intending to have sex with lots of different people.
• where you want to meet the escort - do you want a stranger in your home? do you want to go to their accommodation? do you want to go for a hotel?
• a safe call ie. a friend you have to phone by say an hour after the escort is supposed to have left or they'll take some agreed action [come to the venue/call the police etc.]

Go for it. Seriously.

If DIY. Buy myla, the bone. Don't fuck about with the very poor cousin, rabbit.

This is so easy to find on any dating site, recruit them in the same you would anyone who you want to provide you with a service.

Hardly rocket science.

Why aren't you on sites like grinder or whatever?

Wolf, you can still be anonymous on 'adult' sites.

Perhaps go explore the sites and see if you can get what you want (without employing the services of a prostitute).

Hmm! £60? Really? Last time I looked, it was about £300! How times change.

I have a multitude of issues around prostitution, all but one of which apply to your situation. That one is a biggie, though ... the exposure to rape, which I assume is not going to be even slightly relevant in your situation.

I still don't know why you wouldn't just pick up a bloke, though. You're old enough to take a few knockbacks, surely? The zipless fuck is very much alive & kicking ass

I had a bloke in Asda the other day beg me to have him wash my car, he was obviously desperate for the money - does that make it immoral for him to wash my car?

Are you seriously comparing this to buying sexual services?

Ew. Please don't.

If this was a man talking about hiring a female prostitute I would judge , am doing the same now.

Do you really think paying for sex will make you feel better?

I have a multitude of issues around prostitution, all but one of which apply to your situation. That one is a biggie, though ... the exposure to rape, which I assume is not going to be even slightly relevant in your situation.

I'm not so sure about that Garlic. Chances are the escort wouldn't want sex with OP unless there was money involved. He could be physically repulsed by her. He might have to go to a far away place of fantasy in his head in order to maintain an erection and DTD. Not great, is it? It wouldn't be rape because of the way rape is framed in law (requires the rapist to use a penis) but it's still very muddy in terms of consent (as it always is when money is involved) and OP would be setting the bar pretty fucking low in terms of what's acceptable.

Judge away Fairenuff, you evidently have a problem with sex which is, well, fair enough, but some are happy providing a paid service and paying for a service.

If someone is being forced that is entirely different but that isn't the case here - 'k?

I really don't want to go on plenty of fish or grinder (whatever it is? sex site?) I'm not looking for regular sex, I'm thinking once/twice a year, you know? And I want it to be anonymous.

I definitely don't want casual sex on a ONS basis, so don't suggest it as an alternative as I'm not looking for it

I don't feel 'bad' Catz

I want sex, not a therapist!

Yes, I fully agree with that, Pubes. And the whole business of commercialisation / objectification. Sex isn't like having your car washed - or even like getting a body massage. With a random shag, you have chosen each other to have sex with. And there will some friendly interaction, albeit shallow. It's an equal deal.

I definitely don't want casual sex on a ONS basis - Eh? So what is it you're planning to pay for?

Same with escorting, Garlic - you don't just pounce on the individual as soon as they walk through the door

I've absolutely no idea why, but I do know I don't want any part in 'random sex' sites but don't mind the idea of a one-off with an escort, I really genuinely don't know why I feel that way, but I do!

Having read the thread now I've little idea why your asking anyone about this. You seem to know already.

It isn't so much the sex bit a therapist might help you, it's with an apparent poor attitude to people in general, if I may say.

Control. You feel the paymaster calls the tune.

This is all part of the issues I have around prostitution in general.

Do you have a problem with some guy deciding he quite fancies sex with you, and making an equal trade with him? Because that way you share control, and nobody parts with their cash.

Anonymity I guess

Wolf, I'm not judging, but do you really think paying some random bloke to shag you is better than knocking one out yourself?

In an ideal world you'd have some Adonis pandering to your every need, the reality I fear is somewhat different.

I don't think I've got a poor attitude pan, I'm not sure what gives you that impression, to be honest? I haven't been rude, to my knowledge!

I suppose I was wondering what, if any, others' experiences were. I'm not fully decided at all but it it came to it, I would rather go without sex than sign up for a ONS on the Net. I've gone without it happily enough for 5 years, and so I'm hardly a raving nympho! But with my background, I am fairly calm abut sexual services being paid for - maybe that comes across as glib? I don't know, but I do apologise if I have offended you in any way. :) HNY.