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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Advice please ! Is this moving too fast

144 replies

Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 19:18

I met this guy 2 weeks ago this sat I've met him when I was out and I've met up with him 1 other time we talk on the phone everyday , he's says he loves me and wants kids with me and to marry me , he's told me a lot about himself he says he gets injections for stress and he says the doctors said he's got mental health . I just think this is moving too fast I told him that and it upset him I need advice please

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 19:20

Advice? Run.... and don't look back.

JeanSeberg · 02/01/2014 19:21

Assuming this is real, ask yourself what is wrong in each of the statements you've written about him.

Joysmum · 02/01/2014 19:23

Omg yes that is way to fast and he sounds way too dependent and unstable to know what he wants. In fact, even if he wasn't unstable I'd say declaring undying love after only 2 weeks makes me think he's in love with the idea of being in love as he doesn't know you well enough to be able to know if you are right for him.

I'd be very very cautious if I were you.

Littlefish · 02/01/2014 19:23

Walk away now.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 19:25

This reply has been deleted

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AgentProvocateur · 02/01/2014 19:25

Run away as fast as you can and block his number. Then work on your self esteem.

LastingLight · 02/01/2014 19:26

Get out. There is nothing positive about this guy or the relationship.

PortofinoRevisited · 02/01/2014 19:27

Run like the fucking wind!

kukeslala · 02/01/2014 19:28

cogito
That's a bit off ain't it? Nice way to describe a person with MH...

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 19:30

This reply has been deleted

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Climbingthewalls12 · 02/01/2014 19:31

The responses on this thread are awful considering the fact that the man described apparently suffers from a mental illness Hmm

IMO the biggest issue here is that he isn't willing to accept how YOU feel. My OH told me he loved me after about 2 weeks of dating (thought we had kind of known each other vagually for a while before) and I got pregnant (by accident) 2 months later. We are still together and very happy 4 years later.

Incidently my OH also suffered severe anxiety when I met him and a loving relationship really helped it.

princessalbert · 02/01/2014 19:33

No. I wouldn't get involved. It is all too intense.

The MH issues may or may not be an issue. I certainly would be very wary of anyone who declares undying love and marriage so quickly. He has only met you once??

Original poster
Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 19:38

We met in a club on a night out then we met once after that .so twice in total , I no deep down this is too fast and I've said this too him and it really hurt him I've got a 8 year old daughter as well I need to think about .im gonna have to tell him it's over some how

OP posts:
Original poster
Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 19:38

We met in a club on a night out then we met once after that .so twice in total , I no deep down this is too fast and I've said this too him and it really hurt him I've got a 8 year old daughter as well I need to think about .im gonna have to tell him it's over some how

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 19:39

Be prepared for him to be the type won't accept it's over and please be very, very careful indeed. Does he know where you live?

Original poster
Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 19:44

No , for some reason tho he gave me his mums address and phone number he said case anything happens to him he's said befor if I ever finished with him it would break his heart and he wouldn't no what to do he's 37 I'm 30

OP posts:
TurnipCake · 02/01/2014 19:46

After meeting twice you're not responsible for his overall mental health and wellbeing, nor being his mother's point of contact Hmm. He's done ok for 37 years without you in his life so far, he'll be ok and if he's not, that's not your cross to carry.

At least he doesn't know where you live

Climbingthewalls12 · 02/01/2014 19:47

Offs just because he's a bit intense doesn't mean he's going to come after the OP.

If it's not for you then its important not to give him false hope, just end it and move on.

Casmama · 02/01/2014 19:48

Oh dear. This is not good. I might be tempted to give his mum a heads up if she answers the phone as she may then be able to support him.
I agree you do need to get out of this as soon as possible- it can only get much much worse.

Casmama · 02/01/2014 19:49

Climbing it means he is not rational and is therefore unpredictable- warning someone to be careful is never bad advice.

SweetSeraphim · 02/01/2014 19:49

Are you likely to bump into him if you go out OP? If not, I'd be tempted to block him on your phone and just not speak to him again. You owe him nothing, he's not your responsibility.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 19:49

Then tell him it's over, go a strict 'no contact' & avoid any places he might be. He'll just have to deal with his broken heart.

Climbingthewalls12 · 02/01/2014 19:51

I think its really sad though the type of responses that are being given. I would be devistated to think that someone didn't even have the balls to end it to my face, just because I suffered from mental health issues.

Its fine to end it of course but just because someone is intense or has issues doesn't mean that you should do it any differently to how you would otherwise. Its still another human with feelings.

Casmama · 02/01/2014 19:55

The advice is on the basis of the things he has said which may or may not be influenced by his mental health problems. It maybe a fundamental part of his character that he is clingy.

OP has a daughter to think about in this as well. She has met him twice so should act acordingly

Original poster
Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 19:56

I ain't got his mums number or address I deleted it or I would of done that do u think its best to tell him face to face

OP posts:
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