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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Advice please ! Is this moving too fast

144 replies

Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 19:18

I met this guy 2 weeks ago this sat I've met him when I was out and I've met up with him 1 other time we talk on the phone everyday , he's says he loves me and wants kids with me and to marry me , he's told me a lot about himself he says he gets injections for stress and he says the doctors said he's got mental health . I just think this is moving too fast I told him that and it upset him I need advice please

OP posts:

Report

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 19:56

She's walking away, not because he allegedly has MH issues but because he is unstable and potentially dangerous.

Casmama · 02/01/2014 19:59

You have deleted the details of the only method you have to contact him!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 19:59

You cannot afford to be face to face with a man like this when you end it. Emotionally unstable = dangerous. Polite text then drop.

TurnipCake · 02/01/2014 19:59

I wouldn't tell him face to face-to-be honest, no. Yes, there's human decency yadda yadda, but with some cold hard context: you've met the guy twice, known him for a fortnight and your personal safety comes above everything else.

doasyouwouldbedoneby · 02/01/2014 19:59

No don't do it face to face. text or phone. you don't need to give a reason-simply say this relationship is not working for me. Then block delete ignore.
I hope he doesn't know where you live or stay--or even work. he sounds obsessive and you don't want him turning up.

Casmama · 02/01/2014 20:01

Sorry think I misunderstood the mums contact details part.
Yes end it by phone - after two dates you don't owe any more than that and it is probably safer.

Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 20:03

I've just deleted his mums details not his he don't no where I live or work I'm scared to tell him I no I have to tho

OP posts:

Casmama · 02/01/2014 20:06

Do it now and get it out the way, you'll feel better once its done.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 20:07

End it simply, don't reply to any responses and you might be lucky and get him out of your life quickly. Say nothing and where most would take the hint, this one will probably keep trying.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 02/01/2014 20:10

You are scared to tell the man you have seen twice it is over?

What are you going to do then?

SweetSeraphim · 02/01/2014 20:10

Do it now, OP. It's hanging over you like a motherfucker.

JeanSeberg · 02/01/2014 20:10

So he's threatened suicide with the 'if anything happens to him' scenario?

JaceyBee · 02/01/2014 20:14

There is no such thing as 'injections for stress' unless he's talking about a depo which is used for people with schizophrenia/delusional disorders or an ad hoc shot of benzos.

I would definitely end it by text asap, not because of his mh issues but because he clearly makes you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason and you need to listen to your gut.

Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 20:16

I no I'm just gonna have to tell him I just feel like a bitch

OP posts:

SweetSeraphim · 02/01/2014 20:16

Exactly what Jacey said. I would be saying the same if MH issues hadn't even been mentioned. OP doesn't like the way it's going and wants to stop. That's it.

JaceyBee · 02/01/2014 20:30

You are not a bitch, and I'm afraid you are just going to have to sit with that feeling until it passes! Which it will, very soon.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2014 20:34

Why do you feel like a bitch? Is it because he's guilt-tripped you with the alleged MH issues?

Casmama · 02/01/2014 20:36

You are not responsible for his feelings, you have only met him twice.

Try and think how much responsibility you would normally feel after 2 dates. That is the appropriate amount.

This talk of suicide is either extremely manipulative or indicative of severe instability- either way you are much better out of it.

Leverette · 02/01/2014 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 20:52

Well I've just text him sayin this is moving too fast for me and it's not you it's me does that sound ok

OP posts:

Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 21:03

I no this is bad but I'm gonna post his reply

OP posts:

Tia2005 · 02/01/2014 21:05

yeah, i kind of agree.
today didnt feel like the days before, its almost like we burnt our selfs out.
your not hurting me, ive been thinking alot about it too.
ive been saying alot of things without really thinking about it and am kind of losing my self.
i thought i was ready but maybe am not if your talking like that.
i think we need to talk, it doent have to be bad but i think we have to talk.

OP posts:

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TurnipCake · 02/01/2014 21:08

Hmm, sounds like after the whirlwind he would have dropped you like a stone, at least you weren't sucked in by it.

No talking necessary, you've both said what you want to say, there's no 'have to' about it.

Casmama · 02/01/2014 21:08

I don't think that text makes it clear that you don't want to continue. He will probably come back saying that he can slow things own, doesn't want to lose you etc.

I think you need to be really clear- "I'm sorry but I don't see any future in this relationship and I don't want to waste your time when you could be out meeting someone who could make you happy. I wish you the best of luck for the future and think it best if we don't contact each other again. Tia"

Something like tht?

Casmama · 02/01/2014 21:09

Sorry missed your last response- ow bizarre. How do you feel?

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