Not met friends/family, 1 year in...

[MissBurrows]

I've been with my boyfriend for a year on Jan 1st, and I've not yet met any of his friends or family. Does anyone else think this is weird or am I overreacting?

Don't apologise, I think you should be a damn site more angry than you are!

Something is very wrong.

Maybe it's ultimatum time.

Where does he go out with his mates - near you or near his parents?

If near you - you dont need to invite yourself along - just drop in independently with friends to the same bar -- or get there first.

Does he go out with you and your friends? Do you socialise differntly or in different ways with your friends?

This would be a dealbreaker for me I'm afraid. There is something not right about this at all. I'm really sorry for you, but you must talk to him, you deserve better. I really hope this works out for you.

He has met a few of my friends, talks to them regularly on Facebook, and invited one over last night even offering to pay for a cab for him (the friend declined, but the effort was made). But I don't really go out with my friends either, they come over to my house or I go to theirs.

We both live in the suburbs, equal distance from the city just on opposite side of the city too!

So I suppose it's near both of us that he goes out, normally, and it IS to a pub that if I go out, I do go to, so it's not like it'd be that shocking if I was there.

Miss Burrow, Have you had chance to talk yet?x

Not yet, he's been with his family all day. Just about to get aroud to it. x

What's pmdd? He sounds horrible, actually.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, it's like PMT but a thousand times worse!

Do his folks know you have a son?
It could be something he hasn't told them about!

Well, so far he's thrown at me the following reasons...

1. At first we were fighting a lot so he wasn't sure about the relationship.
2. Then I was in hospital and he was under too much stres (I almost died... all very complicated)
3. And now it's because he has moved in with them and feels uncomfortable around them.

When asked if he was serious about us he said "I'd have thought that was clear after the hospital bit.".
Granted that yes, he did stick around whilst I was in a coma and look after me afterwards.

So yeah, I thin k I'm being unreasonable here. I feel like I'm going mad.

Invite him and parents round for tea?

Pancake flipper.. oh I've bloody tried! He's just useless.... he always says "I'll sort something", but just DOESNT. It frustrates me. It can't be that hard, surely?

He's basically just said he's really sorry and he sees it from my side, how bizarre it must look. He also says he will arrange something, but I wont hold my breath.
He also asked me why I left it so long to say anything... perhaps he should look back and see that it's the ONLY thing we've EVER fought about in the last year!
Grr.

Turns out... he got it wrong about his dad picking him up and the "only place he knew" in my village was actually over a mile away!

But yeah, he's agreed to do something about it and said he is very serious about us and sees a future, etc etc...

Don't worry though, I'm not taking his word as gospel, I'll wait and see.

So, you say you're sure his parents know about you, but you almost die and still no sign of them?!

Something doesn't ring true.

Phone up his parents home and ask them for a few possible dates.. then tell him to pick one....

Nobody but my close family knew how serious things were when I was in hospital, my parents asked for it to be that way. I'm not aware if his knew... but I wouldn't have expected them to visit me, they didn't know me.

After I came out, he'd lost loads of weight and was quite unwell (but still managed to take care of me) due to the stress. Thats his reason for me not meeting them then.

I don't know what to believe.

When you love someone, you're excited for your family to meet the person who's made you happy. Am I wrong?!

His excuses are bollox!

Don't blame you for being confused. I was all set to damn the relationship reading the earlier stuff, not not so sure myself!

Do his parents know you have a son? Is it just 'one of those things' that you've never gone out and socialised with his friends?

to be honest, I'm not sure which is more troubling. You definitely need to set an ultimatum, imo.

It all sounds very odd OP. There have been many opportunities where you could have met them briefly so I can't imagine what is going on. I think you need to force the issue as either you are the problem or they are the problem. What secrets does he not want revealing?

They know about my son. BF is quite happy about me having a son... they have met twice and are very fond of each other.

"I just don't understand why he doesn't realise how it makes me feel."

He DOES realise. He just doesn't CARE.

He is fobbing you off and stringing you along.

The whole situation is ridiculous and it's time to put a stop to it.

It sounds to me like he thinks because you are unwell that he can get away with treating you badly because you don't have many other options.

How can you actually want to be with someone who treats you this way?

He isn't bad to me... it's just this situation. It's the only thing we argue about.

You've only been together for a year and you already have a really big problem to be arguing about where he is fobbing you off and blaming your illness for you being "irrational".

The way he talks about "sorting it" is ludicrous.

There's nothing to "sort".

He is going out of his way to make sure you don't meet them. And he knows how that makes you feel.

Hang on...so after a year together, he's only met your son twice?