Friends 'D' H tried it on, advice please

[JustDrive]

I really don't know what to do right now.
Met a really great girl through work and we both have similar aged kids and loads in common. She's been like a rock to me after splitting with my H, wouldn't have coped without her.
Anyway last night she invited me out with her husband and group of friends as my H had DS for the night. Was the first time I'd met them or her H.
We went into town and a lot of booze was had, her H became more and more friendly which did make me feel uncomfortable.
By the late evening he was groping my bum etc. told him to stop.
Later on we were outside smoking and he tried to kiss me!! Put my hand on his cock and said 'see what you do to me' omg I feel sick reliving this. So I left. He followed. Tried it on basically and I said no.
Anyway I went home a bit shaken and upset because my friend really is lovely and I'm a bit shocked. She was suspicious after I'd gone and apparently her Hs friend has said I tried it on with her H!!!
Shes text this morning saying she's in bits and wants the truth.
I don't know whether to tell her or not because I don't want to lose her friendship and I know she'll 'shoot the messenger'.
WWYD? What a fucking arsehole.

You could get this thread deleted and then encourage her to join MN.

At least she's not blaming you.

If you talk about it again, I'd suggest to her that he's not really trying to get on her friends' knickers but rather to separate her from her friends. She should think about why that is.

You should ask her if everything is ok in her marriage apart from his habit of making her friends feel "uncomfortable".

It sounded like you went out with his friends. Does she have any friends?

You two should make your best not to lose your friendship, because that may be the support she needs to drop the sad excuse for a man.

It doesnt surprise me that he's got 'form'

The speed with which his mate got in there with the twisted account suggests they work as a team and know exactly what they are doing.

which is fucking creepy to be frank.

Oh dear, poor woman. She is going to do the "pick me" dance, isn't she and is going down the route of blaming his sleazy behaviour on 1) a breakdown on his part 2) her fault for not giving him enough blow jobs or summat

It's not your fault love, but in your position I would have given her more detail without being asked for it. You have nothing to beat yourself up for, though. Please have a very low bar and at the slightest hint of her being ready to hear more, lay it all out for her.

So sorry, OP. You've done all you can though, told the truth and continued to be a friend. Perhaps you will lose her friendship in the interim and then when it all sinks in and she sees sense, she'll realise what a true friend you've been.

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meeeemo Sun 29-Dec-13 17:33:45
what a dick. my friends DH rubbed my leg when drunk, whilst we was sat on sofa. i pushed his hand off and said that i didnt think his wife would be too happy. later that night he managed to piss in corner of lounge.... i took that to mean he was so drunk he didnt know what he was doing. i didnt tell friend, but in your case i would give the full facts like you did in OP.

meeeemo... When I read your post I couldn't help thinking that IF this man needed to cover up his 'fumble' with drunkenness AND showing total contempt for you - peeing in the corner would be a very satisfactory way of achieving both. Horrid man!

Tell her the truth. You will probably lose her as a friend,but you will have done her a favour.

i dont think that was the case, he was VERY drunk. the fumble was very half arsed, we were sat on sofa waiting for boxing to start, it was as though he was half piss/ half asleep and automatically reached across ( as though he might do to friend) and started to rub me.

apparently he has pissed on floor before, my friend was VERY angry so i doubt he would have done that as a cover up!

Agree you should suggest she joins MN. She'll get support here - and not the "men have needs, is the poor lamb getting enough attention?" bollocks, the "some things have no excuses" reality.

Fair enough meeeemo. I guess he's ashamed enough then to lay off the drink? He ought to be, he doesn't handle it very well and behaves in a disgusting manner.

If a bloke that I turned down for a fumble pissed in the corner of my living room, I would view it as a "take that, bitch, how dare you knock me back" response. Like a dog marking it's territory.

I expect, meeemo, you no longer socialise with that prick ?

it was not in my living room! it was in his own living room, long after i had gone to bed.

it was the one and only time that we went out as group. i am still friends with his DW. They have since had 2 children, and he seems to have grown up and matured a lot. i have seen him when visiting, and he behaved very normally.

Think she means karma for the affair she had beer

eh ?