Friends 'D' H tried it on, advice please

[JustDrive]

I really don't know what to do right now.
Met a really great girl through work and we both have similar aged kids and loads in common. She's been like a rock to me after splitting with my H, wouldn't have coped without her.
Anyway last night she invited me out with her husband and group of friends as my H had DS for the night. Was the first time I'd met them or her H.
We went into town and a lot of booze was had, her H became more and more friendly which did make me feel uncomfortable.
By the late evening he was groping my bum etc. told him to stop.
Later on we were outside smoking and he tried to kiss me!! Put my hand on his cock and said 'see what you do to me' omg I feel sick reliving this. So I left. He followed. Tried it on basically and I said no.
Anyway I went home a bit shaken and upset because my friend really is lovely and I'm a bit shocked. She was suspicious after I'd gone and apparently her Hs friend has said I tried it on with her H!!!
Shes text this morning saying she's in bits and wants the truth.
I don't know whether to tell her or not because I don't want to lose her friendship and I know she'll 'shoot the messenger'.
WWYD? What a fucking arsehole.

If the OP goes to the police, there is already the situation where the Hs friend told the wife the OP was trying it on with H.

apparently her Hs friend has said I tried it on with her H!!!

Too many H's and friends in that - could be another friends H saying the OP was giving him the come on.

Is any of this likely to be on CCTV at the pub you were at?

I think you know fine what it means,as does op given it's her phrase
In attempt to empathise I'm mirroring the language op has used
So take your what the fuck rage,put it in its box and recall this isn't all about you

Scottish I'd rather not engage with you as I don't like your manner. I wasn't responding to your post btw and you can assume anything I post is not directed at you.

Bohemian, op isn't married
Good luck with whatever you decide to do op

This is about your what e fuck rage calin.its about the op

So after he groped your bum you went out alone to smoke with him? Assuming drink was involved I think it could get messy and unproductive to go to the police tbh - you'd have to be really convinced you wanted to pursue a complaint. You may well do, just pointing out the emotional toil in you, as it's been suggested.
Tell her the truth. Why cover for him and make yourself look bad?

Tell the truth you did nothing wrong

If she chooses to believe him it's her loss

tell the truth.
this will happen all the time now men know you are single.
so don't do anything daft like get drunk with them and go outside together.

So after he groped your bum you went out alone to smoke with him?

For all we know he followed her there, or were left alone when friends went in. We shouldn't make assumptions.

I wouldn't minimise it, nor show rage. Just matter of fact.

this will happen all the time now men know you are single.

Really? Not in my world!

No rabbitlady OP can get drunk and go outside with whoever she likes, because she didn't do anything wrong by doing that, she's just going to have to be aware that some might be entitled sex pests.

Nor mine.

Only by wankers.

I'm not assuming anything, it's a question. I don't think going to the police is an easy thing to do, that's all. And also if a friend is already saying she tried it on with the dh, I'm trying to see how ambiguous but might look.

If the weight of opinion becomes your word against everyone else's, call your ex friend's (because that's what she'll be now) bluff. Tell her you're quite prepared to take a polygraph test to prove your innocence and ask if he'd do the same. I'm not saying go on jeremy kyle or anything because it can be done privately. Say you're prepared to pay his fee if he's telling the truth and vice versa. He'll shit it and decline the offer. It'll tell her all she needs to know.

I think, maybe, rabbit lady meant not to be alone with someone who had already shown unwanted physical attempts at intimacy, rather than all men will be attacking her?

You're likely to lose her friendship whatever you say, OP. You may as well lose it for telling the truth -- and that's also the only way you have a slim chance of retaining it.

I think you have to tell her the truth. I highly doubt this is a one off but even if your friend believes you, if she doesn't want to end her marriage and there could be many reasons for that, you will probably lose her friendship anyway.

God, don't offer polygraph tests. You'll just sound too desperate.

I'd just tell her that I value her friendship, and will not be prepared to spend any time around him in future. If she wants to stay with this man, it's her problem. The OP won't be the only one or the first.
This may well the be final drop.

Hi,

Many thanks to those who have pointed us in the direction of this thread.

We're doing our best to dispel the common rape myths, including those which involving alcohol and rape, as well as rape from those you know, so it may help if you took a few minutes to take a look.

We hope you're OK, JustDrive.

MNHQ.

Tell the truth. If she chooses not to believe you she'll find out the hard way when he does it again or cheats.

Unfortunately you cannot make her believe you.

Fwiw...I think if go to the police actually. He put his hand on his cock?! I'd be outraged.

Your hand on his cock even....

Lweji, I wouldn't be bothered about sounding desperate. I'd be bothered about people thinking I was a liar and just leaving it hanging in the air. She will more than likely lose this friend through no fault of her own. It's not fair that the friendship should be lost on the back of a lie.
An ex boss of mine virtually accused me of theft. I could have just walked out. I didn't though. I proved my innocence first, then told him to stick his job.

A job is different. Being dismissed for theft might affect future job prospects.

I'd rather go to the police in this instance, because it was assault, than suggest a private polygraph test.

As it stands, 2 people will be saying she made all the moves. Unless other people come forward in support of the op or there's cctv, what on earth can the police do?