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Original poster

how would you feel if your husband brought a sex toy and you found it?

70 replies

hudsonriver1 · 28/12/2013 18:51

I dont know how I feel.

Hubby brought me some ann summers underwear for my birthday in november and I was just clearing out his wardrobe and found the invoice with 'tenga eggs' on it so I looked it up and its a male masterbater? I haven't spoken to him yet but how would you feel?

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OP posts:
Hassled · 28/12/2013 18:53

Blimey - I don't know. Surprised, certainly. A bit hurt that it was kept secret? And I doubt it would do my self-esteem much good, either.

Are you OK?

cantheyseeme · 28/12/2013 18:55

Im not sure id be bothered aboit him having them, but keeping them secret would piss me off, hope youre ok op.

chocolatespiders · 28/12/2013 18:57

Just had to google that - never heard of them

MalibuAndMilkPleaseLibertine · 28/12/2013 18:59

Hmm, well I don't mind my oh having a wank, and I wouldn't necessarily tell him if I'd bought myself a new vibrator, so it certainly wouldn't devastate me.

How do you feel?

TheCrumpetQueen · 28/12/2013 18:59

Do you tell your partner when you buy a vibrator? I certainly havent and i would be pretty mortified if my dp interrogated me over buying one!
Masturbation is a pretty private matter tbh.

gamerchick · 28/12/2013 19:00

I wouldn't care... If woman are allowed rabbits and whatnot.. what's wrong with a dude having a try?

I'm not you though.. how do you feel about it?

Original poster
hudsonriver1 · 28/12/2013 19:03

I wouldn't just go and buy myself one, maybe we would do it together but I wouldnt secretly buy one.

We had a lot of issues in the past regsrding porn etc and thought everything was sorted

OP posts:
gamerchick · 28/12/2013 19:04

Having a quick look they seem to be designed for single use only. Maybe it was simple curiosity.. I probably wouldn't say anything or knowing me ask what it was like.

LiberalLibertine · 28/12/2013 19:07

There's porn and then there's masturbation, do you think he's using porn again?

He may not have set out to buy it, he may have come across an offer on line or something and did it spur of the moment?

Are you pissed off about it?

Original poster
hudsonriver1 · 28/12/2013 19:12

I have text him and he said he hadnt a clue what it was. He chucked it in basket cos you had to spend over a certain amount. I then said dont lie, ive found the wrapper.......he just said im going on and it was the cheapest thing to buy to get the discount

OP posts:
Original poster
hudsonriver1 · 28/12/2013 19:14

Hes definately paying for porn anymore. I don't care if he wants to have a quick look but not paying. He wonders why I wont let him go on a stag do to prague

OP posts:
olathelawyer05 · 28/12/2013 19:17

Keep in mind that not telling you about something isn't always the same as 'keeping it a secret', particularly when it comes to our individual sexuality, which each of us still owns even if we're married or in a relationship - we are merely sharing it with our partners. There is no real reason for you to feel negatively about this.

Now, if he's using it with another person, then please 'feel' away...

stickysausages · 28/12/2013 19:18

You won't let him!?

Marking place....

ouryve · 28/12/2013 19:19

It wouldn't bother me, so long as I wasn't getting less attention, as a result.

notapizzaeater · 28/12/2013 19:21

I wouldn't mind he'd bought it, I'd mind he hadn't told me

redundantandbitter · 28/12/2013 19:22

Initial thoughts would be 'not bothered' but I suppose there could be other things to take into consideration. Better to chat about it in person than via text though. Good luck

Original poster
hudsonriver1 · 28/12/2013 19:22

Not that I wont let him but I said I would rather he didnt as I want a family holiday next year and we cant afford to waste money on that.

Thank u for ur advice

OP posts:
tawse57 · 28/12/2013 19:22

Never heard of them. Had to google. Different types apparently - which one did he buy? Might give a clue to what he feels he is missing out on.

10 quid a wank!!? Very expensive. Most men would be spending a few hundred quid per week if they were not being satisifed in other ways.

Original poster
hudsonriver1 · 28/12/2013 19:23

We have quite an active sex life too which i dont get, the same with the porn thing

OP posts:
VerySmallSqueak · 28/12/2013 19:25

I would be mildly amused tbh.

Imo this is a personal thing and it should be replaced and not mentioned.

You cannot help having come across it,but I think this is the same deal as accidentally reading a bit of someone's personal diary before you realise it is a diary iyswim.

lifesgreatquestions · 28/12/2013 19:28

Hm. I don't buy accoutrements to my private time, but I do definitely see it as totally private so I'd I did buy anything I would keep it to myself, not add a dark secret. Its just that I don't talk about it with oh, and I don't want to know about his. As far as I'm concerned what I get up to is my business and all the more enjoyable for not being watched, judged, commented upon. If I'd found a toy I suppose I'd ignore it.

tiamariaxxx · 28/12/2013 19:29

I would be kinda miffed that he kept it a secret. Him having the toy wouldnt bother me, ive got 2 vibrators he knows about and he isnt bothered not that they get used as often as they should.

Fucketyfuck · 28/12/2013 19:34

OP you sound a little bit judgy - maybe he feels he can't talk to you for fear of being judged.... Hence keeping it a secret. Maybe have a chat about the sort of sex life you both want....

cantthinkofagoodone · 28/12/2013 19:36

I agree that it's private.

Also. Brought is to bring, bought is to buy. (pedant)

Norudeshitrequired · 28/12/2013 19:41

I would only be annoyed that he hadn't bought me a vibrator too. Seriously through, if you are a bit prudish about porn then he probably didn't feel confident enough to tell you that he had bought the tenga eggs. There isn't anything wrong with adults using sex toys either together or separately.