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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

my mam is in hospital

102 replies

wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 09:04

She was taken in to hospital last night.
She has had a lump for a few weeks and not said anything.

Her arm is all swelled up and she is apparently not well at all. On antibiotics and they will be keeping her in for a week.

I feel so helpless!

It may sound weird, but what is worrying me the most is her alcohol dependency.

How is she going to do this...for over 26 years she has had a drink every single day.

I know when i tried getting her help through every agency possible - they all said it would be far too dangerous for her to just stop.

Being in hospital is going to force her to just stop.

I am really worried.
She cant stand hospitals, she will be so scared and alone and with no alcohol. She will be doing withdrawals in a place she is most uncomfortable.

Anybody know what can/will happen with her drinking suddenly stopping?

OP posts:
BohemianGirl · 26/12/2013 09:27

You need to phone and talk to the duty nurse and tell them she has alcohol dependency.

But 'alcohol dependency' will mean different things to different people. Do you mean she is an alcoholic? Or do you mean she uncorks the bottle every night at 6pm and then drinks her way through the evening?

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 09:28

Yes she drinks a bottle of cider at 7 and drinks herself to sleep.
Sometimes she will add a can. Sometimes she will just have 1 ltr. Other times she will have 3.

OP posts:
PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 09:29

Sorry to hear that, wontlet.

As long as the hospital know that she has been drinking alcohol on a daily basis, they can help her through coming off it. Do you think she will have told them? If not it would really be worth a phone call to let them know.

I hope they figure out what's wrong with her and that she gets better soon.

BohemianGirl · 26/12/2013 09:30

She'll cope.

I know it's hard but try not to worry too much

PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 09:30

x-post.

At that level she is very likely to be physically dependent and will withdraw. Do make sure that her drs know.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 09:32

I have just phoned. They know all about her drinking and they are giving her stuff for that.

She has never been in hospital my whole life. Not even to the doctors. She avoids them.like the plague. I hope its not too much for her to cope with!

Thank you all

OP posts:
PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 09:38

Ah, that's good.

I am sure she'll cope, because it sounds like she needs to be there just now, doesn't it Sad?

Hope you get good news soon.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 09:44

Yeah she is in the best place. Just spoken to her and she says she is fine.
Im trying to stop crying. I know this will be torture for her.

They have done xrays and things to try and find out what is wrong. Hopefully nothing serious!

OP posts:
Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 09:44

Trying to stop myself from crying. I meant

OP posts:
LucyLasticKnickers · 26/12/2013 09:46

your poor mum.
is she near by that you can visit?

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 09:51

Shes not that far. Its just sorting things with the kids to get there.
The only people i know to help is my family, and so obviously thats difficult.

Im thinking my sister might watch them while i go with my dad, or dad while i go with my sis.

Hopefully i can sort something out!
As long as she has somebody there.

OP posts:
LucyLasticKnickers · 26/12/2013 10:01

aren't your DC allowed? or do you not think its appropirate?

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 10:09

I didnt think it would be appropriate. I dunno, my thinking might be wrong on that. I just assumed its best to not take the them.

I will have a look into it. Thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 14:32

She has had this for a year and a half. It is really bad.
Waiting on results of ct scan. They might not be able to do anything.

OP posts:
PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 15:30
Sad

Oh dear, how worrying for you.
Have you seen your mum today?

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 15:36

No. Ive had to watch their dog. I am going tomorrow.
Im really struggling with this. Cant let the kids see im worried and im just falling apart on thr insidr

OP posts:
LucyLasticKnickers · 26/12/2013 15:37

sorry to hear that. Sad

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 18:32

Thank you. Still havent heard the results from thr ct scan.
My dad says he wont ring me if it is bad news - so if he comes herr at 8pm then it is bad news.

Til then...i just have to hope for the best.
My sis came to pick their dog up at 5 and she said the results werent back then.

OP posts:
PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 18:34

You may only get preliminary results today - drs working today will look at the scan pictures but they may need to be reviewed by a consultant radiologist tomorrow.

Hand to hold here if you need it.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 19:58

Thank you xx

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 26/12/2013 20:01

Hope you get some answers soon x

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 20:07

Thank you. Just been told we wont find out the results til in the morning

OP posts:
Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 20:24

God i cant bare this.
Been such a stress head today. Poor bairns are supposed tobe having a good time over christmas and ive been stressin out all day

OP posts:
PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 20:36

See, I thought that might happen Sad.

Look, is there any way you can put this worry to one side, deliberately 'put it away' somewhere, in an imaginary box if you want? There is nothing you can do about it, the result will be the same tomorrow as it would've been today and you making yourself more and more anxious about it won't help you, your mum or your kids. Put it away just now and tell yourself you'll deal with it again in the morning.

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this, but you need to find a way to pace yourself a bit. It's v hard work to keep worrying like then when you really have no control over the situation and all the worry in the world won't change anything.

If you want, look up 'mindfulness' - it's a technique to deal with the moment and with the problems of the moment rather than dwelling too much on the past or worrying about the future.

Hope you get some sleep tonight.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 26/12/2013 20:40

Thank you.

I have been working on that with my therapist.
I guess now is probably the best time to put it to use.
Difficult it may be, but possible.

I have been so lost in worry it never even occured to me.

Im not doing myself, or anyone any favours being like this.

Thank you. I will try and focus on that xx

OP posts:
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