my mam is in hospital

[wontletmesignin]

She was taken in to hospital last night.
She has had a lump for a few weeks and not said anything.

Her arm is all swelled up and she is apparently not well at all. On antibiotics and they will be keeping her in for a week.

I feel so helpless!

It may sound weird, but what is worrying me the most is her alcohol dependency.

How is she going to do this...for over 26 years she has had a drink every single day.

I know when i tried getting her help through every agency possible - they all said it would be far too dangerous for her to just stop.

Being in hospital is going to force her to just stop.

I am really worried.
She cant stand hospitals, she will be so scared and alone and with no alcohol. She will be doing withdrawals in a place she is most uncomfortable.

Anybody know what can/will happen with her drinking suddenly stopping?

Ah, good, I'm glad to hear she seems... what's the word? Settled?

And yes, don't allow the thought of this illness to taint every moment with her.
I read a rather touching thread on here where somebody mentioned that their parents did not tell their (adult) children that dad had 6 months to live, because they did not want anybody to behave differently from normal (that 'betrayal' was hard to take after he had died, which is what the thread was about).
Aim for a lovely normal. By guided by what she might enjoy. Spend time with her. And like I said, look after yourself.

Reading is good. Information is good. And then live day to day if you can.

I havent read that thread. But i had thought abouy how my mam didnt need to tell us, and how i would feel if she hadnt.

You can kind of understand why somebody wouldnt want anyone to know, as they wouldnt want to be treat differently. I know i wouldnt.
And for that very reason, it is important that i dont allow my thoughts to taint my time with her.

I am pleased that they have told us, they so easily could have chosen not to.

I am worried about how my dad is holding up. I am encouraging him to talk to me about how he is feeling as he has a hard time opening up. He is doing well at the minute. But i dont know how long before he crashes. He is taking on far too much. He is learning how to iron, cooking, washing and the dishwasher. Which is all fantastic, and he is proud of himself. Only hes not giving himself a breather.

I am going to offer to go out with my mam throughout next week so he can just sit and chill, or go to the gym. Just anything to give him a break.

Any ideas of what else i can do to help?

My dad phoned during me typing this and says my mam is going on monday afternoon for radiotherapy, so im pleased they are acting quickly.