my mam is in hospital

[wontletmesignin]

She was taken in to hospital last night.
She has had a lump for a few weeks and not said anything.

Her arm is all swelled up and she is apparently not well at all. On antibiotics and they will be keeping her in for a week.

I feel so helpless!

It may sound weird, but what is worrying me the most is her alcohol dependency.

How is she going to do this...for over 26 years she has had a drink every single day.

I know when i tried getting her help through every agency possible - they all said it would be far too dangerous for her to just stop.

Being in hospital is going to force her to just stop.

I am really worried.
She cant stand hospitals, she will be so scared and alone and with no alcohol. She will be doing withdrawals in a place she is most uncomfortable.

Anybody know what can/will happen with her drinking suddenly stopping?

Goodness, what a roller-coaster for you all!

You are right about the alcohol of course.

It really is a roller coaster.

Strangely, today has been quite calm. Although ivr stressed out a bit. It has been easier today.

I think im all cried out and thought about everything until i cant cry or think anymore tbh.
Im not conplaining.
It has allowed me to focus on me and my kids, which has made me feel better.

My mam is home today. Which is great, but...
She is not allowed to drink with the meds she is on.
The medicine they wete giving her in place of the alcohol was only a 3 day period. She never had any last night in hospital, nor was she allowed to bring any home.
She has thiamine, which helps with withdrawal but jesus.

Isnt this the dangerous situation i worried about??
Why have they stopped giving her what she needs?

I really dont understand it.

Standard alcohol detox is 7 day course of a reducing amount of Librium = Chlordiazepoxide.
Thiamine is a B Vitamine which will help protect her nervous system including brain from permanent alcohol damage.

She'll be quite safe now in terms of withdrawal, but may still be v twitchy, agitated, sweating etc. Does she have anything to help her sleep? That might see you through the night and contact GP in the morning.

They've put her on one of the antibiotics which is genuinely incompatible with alcohol? (For most, it's just not advised, and most doctors I know will happily neck a glass or two whilst taking them).

I hope they haven't been this foolish. They must know it is a certainty she will drink when she gets out, and if they've given her one of the incompatible ones it will make her very ill indeed.

Can you post what she's on, or phone 111?

Im not sure. My dad says she had something to help her sleep lastnight, but whether that was just for the hospital or not i dont know.

I slyly went into the kitchen when i was there and browsed her meds.
There was
Morphine
Thiamine
Paracetemol
Metronidazole
And penecillin

I dont think any of those help you sleep?

I tried asking if her chest was getting better...she avoided and changed the subject twice. On the third attempt she said "its not hurting" so still avoided answering me. Im taking that as its not!

I tried telling my dad thisnis too dangerous and they shouldnt have let her go. But hes obviously trying to ignore his worries and thinks the thiamine will be enough.

She has physically attacked me before in order to get alcohol. Im sure she would do the same to my dad

Nope, no night sedation - and if she drinks while taking Metronidazole she will be a sick as a dog.

See how the night goes. She may need to contact her GP and get seen as an emergency to get meds sorted out. And follow-up re the alcohol thing if that is what she wants to do.

She CANNOT drink while taking Metronidazole.

Look, your dad makes his own choices too.

I can only imagine how worrying and scary this whole thing is for you, but you have to take a step back just now. They are not staying with you, are they, your parents?

Pass on what you've found out here and then it is over to them. Or rather your mum. She is an adult, she can make her own choices, even if they are bad ones .

Last time my mam tried detoxing. She wanted alcohol that badly, she drank her medicine. Ended up ODing.

I think my sis has an appointment on tuesday to try and get my mam registered as shes not!

Metronidazole is the one that cannot be combined with alcohol.

I think you should phone 111. To be honest, she is going to drink. Her health is going to be compromised by not taking the metronidazole but she could, I think, end up back in hospital if she takes it and drinks.

You are right pacific. It is so hard to switch off from.

But i have no choice really. I just have to hope for the best!

Thank you tribpot. I am going to leave her in the hands of my dad. I have told him my concerns, and im sure he knows who to contact if need be.

I need tontry and stop worrying myself stupid over this.

Too right, OP. You can only give them information, it's up to them what they do with it. If you speak to your dad again, I would just reinforce the message that if he ends up calling an ambulance for her he needs to be honest about what's happened. I'm amazed they've given an alcoholic metronidazole, it makes me think the hospital haven't properly understood her problem.

Get some rest tonight - I'm sure if you read these boards you know the 3 Cs of alcoholism as a bystander:

• you did not cause it
• you cannot control it
• you cannot cure it.

What a worry for you. I assume they do know the extent of her drinking as they gave her stuff in hospital - it seems mad to have discharged her tbh. Fingers crossed for today x

Trib - the three C's are always good to keep in mind - they should be posted on the relationship board more often!

Thank you tribpot. I have never heard of the three c's before.
That helps!

I am also shocked they discharged her. I dont know if this has been down to my mam begging to be home or what have you.

I have phoned her this morning and she seems fine. She had a good sleep so thats good.

Thank you chipping. Hopefully we find the results out sooner rather than later x

weregoingtothezoo mentioned Al-Anon further up the thread. This is different from AA and it's intended to support those close to / affected by alcoholics. Might be worth a look when you have time.

Ah thanks, i will definitely have a look into that after this has all blown over.

I think this thread proves that i have been affected by her alcoholism
Amongst many other things.

Glad to hear she seems to have had a good night. That's something.

Yy to Al-Anon - that is what struck me with your OP: you so desperately want to help, but had not quite had your head around the fact that, ultimately, you cannot do anything about the choices she makes.

Make the 'Three Cs' your mantra .

i'm so sorry you're going through all this.

previous posters are correct that she absolutely cannot drink on that antibiotic. not to mention the morphine.

i know you're waiting for results and it's so worrying. can you speak to her doctors frankly about your fears that she will start to drink heavily again? some towns have an alcohol treatment service to help dependent drinkers either regain control or achieve abstinence. whatever the outcome of the tests, her drinking is clearly taking a physical toll on her (and this may worsen as the alcohol affects her brain) and an emotional one on you.

al-anon may help you. AA may help her. i say this as a recovering alcoholic so please don't think this is a lecture. i know first-hand the toll alcoholism takes on people and families. you are not alone.

hoping for the best outcome for all of you. take care of yourself - you need to be well in order to care for others.

There is often quite a harsh attitude in hospital towards alcoholics - if they know she's been drinking for many years, they will see that as her problem, and won't keep her in hospital to keep her from drinking, even though the compassionate view is that these were far from usual circumstances. And we can all see that.

I do hope she was ok with the metronidazole. Not only will she be very sick but it's also quite dangerous, puts your blood pressure up, etc.

I hope that the news is explained compassionately today, and maybe isn't is as bad as you'd feared.

Im going to have to pacific. I think theyd work in other areas of my life also! Thanx

Thank you mrswast, i guess i could speak to them but i think it would fall on deaf ears with my mam.
I am hoping all of this has been the wake up call she has needed. My dad never mentioned any troubles with alcohol through last night night.

Im not sure he would though. You can see in his face he is just pleased she is home.

He had the video camera on us all yesterday, so i know he is terrified.

I have noticed that she has been telling me a story of something, and then told me again later on.This has happened a few times now. So that isnt a good sign.
I noticed it in the hospital, and then yesterday.

She wasnt like that before she went into hospital. Is this just withdrawal, or signs of damage?

Thank you weregoingtothezoo. Fingers crossed. I dont think she had a drink last night. I think she just slept

Had the phone call. She needs to go to the specialist hospital today.

It specialises in breast cancer. So fuck.

Surely if it was nothing they would have told her over the phone.

Half 1 it is. Anxiety is going through the god damn roof as each minute passes! God knows how me mam and dad must be feeling

Good luck to your mum today, wontlet.