fear I've been dumped by silence YET again

[disappointedandsad]

Have been dating someone for a couple of months. All seemed to be going brilliantly well (I thought). He is kind, intelligent, thoughtful, and generally lovely - or seemed to be. Heard from him last Friday when he said we'd sort out our next date after the end of term. I said that was fine, as was finishing work then for Xmas too, so was fairly free. And nothing since, I text him on Weds but no reply.

I have a horrible feeling I'm not going to hear from him again. This will be about the 6th time I've been dumped silently :(

I really thought he wasn't the type though - his general behaviour is quite gentlemanly, he's not an immature idiot. Plus, a few weeks ago we were watching tv and a famous(ish) singer came on, he said 'that bloke's a complete arse' I asked why and he said that one of his uni friends had dated him, and he had silently dumped her - and what a completely shitty thing that was to do to someone. Which I agreed with.

And now it looks like he's done it to me! Oh, the irony...

If I'd been slung I'd not be chasing around any social media wanting answers

Has anyone suggested the OP send a "why" text??? I think that most of us agree that IF she does send a text to CALL HIM OUT ON HIS SHITTY BEHAVIOUR, I.e. Telling him that he IS a coward and is rude, he should've at least had the courtesy to let you know he was no longer interested!

I love texting, but I don't know I would want to have a why did you not call conversation via text.

It isn't a why text. It's a text to say 'you are a dick' in a more civilised, dignified way.

Probably no point in calling because if he wants to slink off in cowardly fashion he is unlikely to answer the phone.

IMO,it is a bit needy and demeaning to want why answers,puts op on passive asking role
The man in the in control, I may ignore further or I may respond role
No woman needs to be hanging about waiting on a mans explanation

Who has suggested finding out why? [Confused]

Patience I too am confused, I don't remember anyone suggesting this WHY text?

noone has suggested she asks why, everyone has said she should send something telling him he needs to conduct himself better.

Scottish, are you misreading, or just on a rant so you dont care?

I would never advocate a why text, yes, that is demeaning, a ' your behaviour is shocking' text is totally different and takes the OP out of a passive role where the man has all the control.

I dont happen to think a text is casual. I chat with all sorts, including my landlord via text, Ive had major houseworks organised via text.

I would be more likely to call than text in the circs.

I've not decided yet. Part of me still expects a normal, chatty text from him to pop up on my phone at some point.

the only problem with a text is you can never be sure it's arrived or been opened.

The OP said she needs to time to mull it over and then decide, that's sensible. If she does anything now while in the height of emotion she may well regret it, it's still early days...but...I too would feel like 'calling him out' in some way if it turns out that this is indeed a silent brush off (which is not a definite...yet)
There'e no loss of dignity in telling him what a cowardly prick he's been (no need to actually use the word prick but he'll get the message)

Vari she could change her settings to allow her to see if it's been received and opened.

I just don't see him answering if she does call!?!?!

OP, have you thought about what you might do if you do get a chatty text from him in the next few days?
Are you happy to ignore this and pretend nothing has happened, or will you speak to him about it?

It's been a 3 month fling,it was passionate Don't beat yourself up about endings
One good thing is he's so far away you'll not run into him socially

Any contact from him should at the very least (presuming he's just been bogged down, unwell or otherwise) be before Christmas, preferably this weekend.

@scottishmummy, you do sound as if you lack empathy, no need to be so trite about other peoples feelings.

Not at all,I understand it's hurting op,But realistically,one moves on
Dated for 3mth,averaging every fortnight,didn't live together. She's not in too deep
Maybe It's the loss of the what ifs,of course it's emotionally a blow,but you don't dwell

Seeing its in the midst of happening, It cant really be called dwelling.

You don't move on before you know (either for definite, or by inference) that it's over.

Well if you're right easier to move on

Chalk it up to experience and remember the best way to get over a man is to get under another one!!

WEll put

We are all wired differently, what others see as a simple meaningless fling might have been something more, especially if the guy led you to believe he was in it for the long haul, and his actions up until that point matched what he said! OP from what you've said this guy met your "criteria" of an ideal partner, things were going well as far as you were concerned and then he does a Hodini!

So dwell on it all you want, until you find that closure you need to move on!

Gooble hahahaha I actually agree with the last part of your sentence.

Seriously, if I want to dwell, I'll dwell.

No, it's not the end of the world. Compared to burying both my parents by the age of 25, or getting beaten up by a man I thought I loved a few months after our baby was born, it's pretty minor, and I'll get over it, because I got over that stuff.

I don't need chivvying on, or telling to get back on the horse, or to arrange more dates, or whatever, because for me that isn't helpful, all it does is make me feel panicky and sick.

I'm thinking 3 months is a fair amount of time to get attached to someone. Surprised at people just expected her to get over it and move on. Awful way to be treated.