fear I've been dumped by silence YET again

[disappointedandsad]

Have been dating someone for a couple of months. All seemed to be going brilliantly well (I thought). He is kind, intelligent, thoughtful, and generally lovely - or seemed to be. Heard from him last Friday when he said we'd sort out our next date after the end of term. I said that was fine, as was finishing work then for Xmas too, so was fairly free. And nothing since, I text him on Weds but no reply.

I have a horrible feeling I'm not going to hear from him again. This will be about the 6th time I've been dumped silently :(

I really thought he wasn't the type though - his general behaviour is quite gentlemanly, he's not an immature idiot. Plus, a few weeks ago we were watching tv and a famous(ish) singer came on, he said 'that bloke's a complete arse' I asked why and he said that one of his uni friends had dated him, and he had silently dumped her - and what a completely shitty thing that was to do to someone. Which I agreed with.

And now it looks like he's done it to me! Oh, the irony...

On the whole, I think the OP should leave it. Do some practical stuff today.

Wouldn't, not "would". Sorry, getting too enthusiastic now.

Silent phone call?oh yes that's mature

Who's a "sista", SM?

If you've hurt someone and he has, isn't it okay to tell him so? Maybe he will think again. Not about her but next time. It's a kind of cowardice isn't it? I don't want to face someone's hurt so I won't say it to her face.

It's an intimate thing sleeping with someone. It seems to me that you accept when that happens that expectations are set up.

I don't know. Probably best not to call, but it's not nice to do with to someone.

No that's not what it is Santa. The opposite. I found it empowering and it gave me more confidence in my relationship.

Mn sistas they're full of feisty,txt him,change locks,kick him to kerb advice
Advice that is really grim,but all yo and finger clicking, see that showed him
Great at telling others how to up the emotional ante

Everyone has offered advice that they think might be helpful to the op. The op can take from it what she wants. It doesn't really matter what we all think of each other's advice

OMG at Scott, HYSTERICAL! Oh dear someone needs to step away from the PC!!!!

Are you being ironic with the OMG and !!!!, priceless you tell me how it is sista

Scottish, just stop it will you. You are derailing the thread. Everyone is different and deal with things in a different way. There are pros and cons for each way... you advocate sending a casual xmas card, some might call that insane.
Others have said it makes them feel better to call someone on their shit behaviour, not caring how it looks to the other person, but good for their own self worth.

doesnt matter what you think, your way isnt the only way, the OP can take what she wants from the advice that has been given.

OP - you need to do whats right for you, what makes you feel better.

SM grow up will you. You are embarrassing yourself, being totally unhelpful and trying to derail a thread.

I am cringing for you.

I agree with Opal & Bakedpies. At this stage - as it looks increasingly like this is not just him "recovering" from the end of term - you should do whatever will make you feel better, OP.

I also agree that if this man has dumped you in this way, his behaviour is dreadful, & I'm not surprised you're upset. Really sorry you're having this disappointment to cope with at this time of year.

Oh I see when you recommend a txt to the errant boyfriend that's helpful
I by contrast,not so.oh behave patience
I'm cringing that could think that text is the best advice.best fir a teenager yes,grown woman,no

Well it's certainly better than your advice to send a 'casual' Christmas card. Brilliant advice that (not).

Stick to the day job and give up attempting to be a nightmare of an agony aunt.

Is that you then,is that the searing advice

scottish, if the OP sent a screaming harpy text, i would agree, however, i dont see what is teenagery, about the OP sending a measured, calm text, informing him his behavior lacks class and she no longer wants to hear from him, which enables her to move on.

His behaviour is awful. I don't blame you at all for being upset with him. Whether you contact him or not, matter of personal opinion. But I don't like it when the OP is criticised. It's HIS behaviour that's shitty.

What's the point in a why text?its demeaning.move on,leave semblance dignity
A Xmas card is contextually appropriate if he ignore,there the brush off

What about never using texts? If people want to talk, then they call. Texts are only for telling people the train is late.

why is a text demeaning?

In some 1950's rule book?

Agree,I certainly wouldn't txt about my relationship

texts are more used than calls, hence the popularity of not only actual texts, but text based chat services online, like whatsapp.

Thats how it tends to be, again, its not the 1950's.

They didn't have txt in 1950s

A text is meaningless rather than demeaning. It's pretending to be casual when it's actually about wanting to jog his attention. And if he doesn't reply, then it becomes angsty and painful. Look at the people on this thread saying maybe he didn't get the text. Seriously? He hasn't been in contact. That's the only fact everybody knows.