How sure were you REALLY before getting married?

[Trills]

Certain as certain can be?

Not really certain but thought "this is probably the best thing to do, on balance"?

Both? As in, recognising that the most certain that someone can be is to think "this is probably the best, with the limited information that I have"

I'm here :o

Hmm. Not quite sure. I never believed in "The One" or people being destined to each other or everything always being ok as long as you're in love. So I didn't even have to worry about things like that.

I was 100% certain I had a great guy and we were both willing to give it our all. 13 happy years so far.

I had massive doubts but pushed them to the back of my mind. I thought the wedding service would cure them. It didn't

I'd go with 99% too.

Loved (and love) him to pieces but so many marriages end, you just have to jump in and hope and not think that yours might be one that doesn't last. We've been together 18 years now and hopeful it will continue!

I was very sure we could work together as a team and I was in love.

We can - 17 years, 4 kids and several house moves later we are still talking to each other

I think romantic love is overrated wrt whether it is what makes a relationship work; it's a great feeling, but does not guarantee a good team IYKWIM.

I possibly love Tim Minchin more than DH - he is certainly wiser and has more self-awareness

I rather like Tim Minchin but I imagine that he doesn't like being out in the sun as much as I do... (and DP is pretty good for that)

Same as flats and resipa. I did have doubts, and I would probably say that those misgivings are the things that still drive me mad today (12 years on). At least I was aware of potential irritations

Huge last minute panic that marrying 16 months into a relationship is too soon. 4-years in marriage is doing fine!

Not 100% sure, but then I'm never 100% sure of anything. Sure I'd thought about it and it was a good idea though... And instinct said yes. Things are working out so far (8 years and counting).

Very very sure. I don't know why as our relationship not perfect but I've always felt we were long haul (got together at 21, now 35, married 5y next y). Didn't particularly want to get married but very glad now that we are.

Love that TM song. I always wondered how his wife felt about it. She prob gets his philosophy of life. Going back to find 'drinking white wine in the sun' for a good cry.

I like the hand motions for "bell curve".

How many other songs include the phrase "bell curve"?

Or 'trajectory' and 'tangent' and 'hypothetical'

He is awfully clever.
And his eye make-up is way cooler than mine .

Oooh Trills - are you thinking about getting married?

I would say I was 95% sure. I knew that there wasn't going to be anything 100%, and I'd done a pluses/minuses sort of calculation in my head. Sounds terribly unromantic, but I think it's important.

Met each other in 1986, married in 1990. Still together, two children later.

100% sure. There were, admittedly, tiny weeny little red flags, but I knew it was absolutely safe to ignore those, because love was all that mattered, and we loved each other so, so much.

I leave you to guess the rest.

I have been married for nearly 7 years and with dh for 10 years. Very happily married. The only time we didn't get on was in the close lead up to the wedding and our honeymoon. We fell out everyday on honeymoon. In hindsight, we were both young and hadn't had the chat about our expectations. These were all ironed out on honeymoon thankfully/unfortunately

I normally say listen to your gut instinct, but mine was rubbish and swinging like a pendulum.

99%

Still together 10 yrs later.

I'm with Tim M though, don't believe in "The One" or any of that star crossed lovers bollocks. Decision made with head as well as heart. Not expecting him to be perfect, or the marriage to be perfect.

Love it. Totally agree with Tim and went into my marriage thinking this. Don't believe in soul mates. Believe I am incredibly happy in my marriage and love my husband very very much.

100% sure, but like BackForGood it was in a "this feels right/natural" sort of way, rather than a breathless There-Could-Never-Be-Another Twilight bullshit sort of way.

Should have run for the hills with arms flailing in the air whilst leaving a 'me' shape in the door.

I didn't trust my instincts though and went through with it. Divorced after eight years and never saw the git again. Thank god.

totally sure. Even with our friends given us the 'your to young' vibes ( I was 21 he was 22) and the questions of 'do you have to get married?', we got engaged after been together a year and married with in 8 months of our engagement though there was no have to about it.

Remember waking up on my wedding day and just being totally sure that what i was doing was right and haven't looked back. Just as happy today then expecting DC2 in a few months and love the fact that I have someone in my life who sees through my bs and sees the real me no questions asked no judgments made and vs versa.
(sorry if that sounds very smug)

I was very unhappy. Really should have taken that as a sign. Ah well, what's done is done.

100%

And looking across the table at him now, as he tells me about something interesting he has read (something about crab parasites!), I feel as 100% sure now as I did four years ago.

Trills - go for it if you are undoubtedly sure that your relationship with DP is forever

A was recently chatting with a friend of mine, and she said - 'oh well I don't believe in divorce'

Like it was some kind of revelation. I replied - 'well if you believe in divorce you surely wouldn't get married'

I don't believe in divorce, I wouldn't have married if I did. I'm aware that I may be proven wrong.

I never ever wanted to get married until I hooked up with my husband. I was quite shocked and have never regretted it