Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ex won't move out

129 replies

snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:16

Hi, we split up a month ago. Been together for 8 years. Lived together for 6 years. Need some advice on how to get my ex to fuck off.
The house is mine and my ExP hasn't ever paid directly in to the house. Although she has paid bills on occasion (not mortgage or home improvements).
The relationship ended and I gave her 2 weeks to sort herself out. But it's now been a month, I'm pissed off.
I don't want to get her in trouble but is it worth contacting the police, changing locks, putting her belongings in a skip?(more of a threat but might be fun).

Anyone have experience of this or any advice to get her to fuck off?
Thanks

OP posts:
Jan45 · 03/12/2013 14:20

You sound lovely, not. If you spent 8 years of your life with her then I'd reckon that would entitle her to some respect no? You gave her 2 weeks to find somewhere else to live - really?

Do what you will, but changing locks and putting her stuff in a skip etc probably sums up the reason why you are not together any more.

Anniegetyourgun · 03/12/2013 14:21

Fun? Hmm

Rosencrantz · 03/12/2013 14:22

You are such a dickhead.

Original poster
snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:24

She has respect. I use the words 'fuck off' more as a jokey term. I have given her a month now. It's come to the point where she has to go.
Changing the locks seems the best way to go

OP posts:
Rosencrantz · 03/12/2013 14:25

Maybe be compassionate about the fact her long term relationship ended, and she has lost her home in one foul swoop.

Rather than giving her ultimatums, HELP her find a home?

gamerchick · 03/12/2013 14:27

To be absolutely fair to the OP..
If this was a woman posting about a man then helpful reply on how to eject will be posted.

But then that's assuming the OP is a man.

Does your ex have anywhere to go OP? Any kiddies involved? 2 weeks is a bit harsh this close to Christmas and no don't put stuff in a skip.

gamerchick · 03/12/2013 14:28

Yes have you helped? 6 years living somewhere and it's bound to be tough.

Original poster
snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:28

I have spoken to her mother and sisters, they will both have her. Her son lived with us and he is able to go to his fathers.

She works full time and has money to rent if she wants. I'm not sure what else to do

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 03/12/2013 14:29

It's the tone of the OP rather than the gender implications which have got my back up, for one, and I'm guessing other posters feel similarly.

chickydoo · 03/12/2013 14:30

Can she afford to live somewhere else? If you had been married, half your property would now be hers.
Maybe you could help her financially, then she might be able to move on.
It was her home too.

Rosencrantz · 03/12/2013 14:30

Help her move into her Mums then!

Give her warning... This weekend coming. Help her box up and help with transport.

You have no reason whatsoever to be cruel.

Original poster
snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:31

Annie
Sorry for the tone. I'm pissed off. I don't know what to do, I think ultimatums may encourage her to get on with it

OP posts:
Rosencrantz · 03/12/2013 14:32

Fuck 'encouraging her'

Do it with her!

Take some bloody action yourself, just don't be cruel in doing so!

chickydoo · 03/12/2013 14:33

So you are forcing her to be apart from her son too ??? Nice

gamerchick · 03/12/2013 14:35

Fairy Nuff Annie.

So she has a kid to look out for?

I think the only thing you can do it help her physically to move out. If she has somewhere to go but don't be cruel about it.

Original poster
snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:37

Rose
I wasn't too sure if I could just move her out. I'll get that in motion. I'll get her stuff packed up and get her mum to help her pack everything and stay over on Friday. Then drive them to her mum's on saturday

OP posts:
Rosencrantz · 03/12/2013 14:38

Much better Snow!

Far nicer than chucking everything she owns in a skip.

You see the difference? And why your OP was making people so angry?

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 03/12/2013 14:39

Your attitude is horrible. If you don't want to be with her any more then that is your right. If the house is in your name alone, then you have the legal right to have the police remove her from your home (or at least that is what is said on here in other cases, where the woman owns the home and the man won't leave). But the way you speak about her is dreadful. What on earth has the woman done to you to be spoken about with such contempt, disgused as a 'joke' about getting her to fuck off and that it might be fun to put her belongings in a skip.

If you don't want to be with her, don't be with her. If you need to go down the legal route to remove her from a house that she has no legal right to, then go down the legal route.

But if this has been her home for 6 years, and she has a child, and they are being put out by you, then she'll be frightened. have some compassion. See if you can evict her in such a way that the council will consider her homeless and give her priority, for example.

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 03/12/2013 14:39

x-post. That's better at least.

Original poster
snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:39

Chicky
I'm not forcing her to be apart from her son. The son wants to live at his dads. When my ex gets a place sorted he might move back with her

OP posts:
Original poster
snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:41

Rose
The skip was a joke. I would have arranged a time for her to collect her stuff.

OP posts:
caramelwaffle · 03/12/2013 14:41

How many children do you have together?

Lweji · 03/12/2013 14:42

Apparently the usual accepted notice is 28 days. Not sure you need to have that in writing, though.

However, did she regularly pay bills and you the mortgage, or you paid for everything?

Rosencrantz · 03/12/2013 14:43

In not really sure eviction and homelessness with a child is a joking matter, Snow.

Original poster
snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:45

HECtheherald
I don't want her here. She had a one night stand with another guy. So I dumped her. I think I've done her a favour letting her stay for a month. I did that for her son but it's time she fucked off now.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread