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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Ex won't move out

129 replies

snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:16

Hi, we split up a month ago. Been together for 8 years. Lived together for 6 years. Need some advice on how to get my ex to fuck off.
The house is mine and my ExP hasn't ever paid directly in to the house. Although she has paid bills on occasion (not mortgage or home improvements).
The relationship ended and I gave her 2 weeks to sort herself out. But it's now been a month, I'm pissed off.
I don't want to get her in trouble but is it worth contacting the police, changing locks, putting her belongings in a skip?(more of a threat but might be fun).

Anyone have experience of this or any advice to get her to fuck off?
Thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:49

Caramel
We don't have children.

Rose
If she were genuinely homeless she would sort out a flat in a couple of hours. She has places to go.

I paid half the bills and all mortgage. Remember her son was not mine

OP posts:

Lweji · 03/12/2013 14:50

You sounded like she cheated. But still, no need for the nastiness.

And yes, a month should be enough for her, even with a child. She should have started looking for places as soon as she was dumped.

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 03/12/2013 14:51

Well, that is a piece of information missing from your OP that certainly enables me to understand why you are talking about her with such venom. I can understand your anger. Allowing someone who has cheated on you time to remain in the home you own so that they can find somewhere else to live is in fact more than a lot of people would do. Most people who are unfaithful get slung straight out with their clothes in a bag.

Lweji · 03/12/2013 14:51

Unless she wants to be made homeless to go on a council list.

VerySmallSqueak · 03/12/2013 14:54

I wonder if Lweji has that right.

You may have to evict her so she can get social housing with her son,if that is her need.

If her son goes to his father,will he still be able to attend the same school?

Is she ill,or depressed?

VerySmallSqueak · 03/12/2013 14:55

Does she have the money up front for deposit and advance rent?

I am trying to find reasons here in the hope it may help.

Original poster

snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 14:58

Hectheherald
I wanted advice on how to get someone out of my house. How to proceed with this. I didn't want to talk about the relationship, as far as I'm concerned it's done.

Lewj
She has money and a regular income. Her taking a council house would be robbing someone that needs one

OP posts:

towicymru · 03/12/2013 15:01

If you wanted advice on how to get her out, try legal. Why post in relationships if you don't want relationship advice??

MellowAutumn · 03/12/2013 15:03

re post in Legal for erhhh legal advice ?

Original poster

snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 15:03

Verysmallsqueak
The kid will be able to stay at the same school. My ex has resources to set up and maintain a new home. Definitely rent and probably funds to buy a home.
She isn't ill, she is guilt ridden but just staying to cause problems. She needs to go now, but she will be gone Friday morning

OP posts:

VerySmallSqueak · 03/12/2013 15:06

She has money and a regular income - but she also has a child to support,and childcare to pay for.

Rents can be huge now,and deposits and advances terrifying.

Let the council be the judge of whether she needs homing and whether they can find her suitable accommodation.

I thought you just wanted shot of her,so why does it matter to you?

VerySmallSqueak · 03/12/2013 15:08

Sorry snow.

X posted there.

What do you mean she will be gone Friday morning?

Blossomflowers · 03/12/2013 15:08

Bloody hell everyone calm down, It ss rather amazing the advice given because OP is a man. Responses would be whole lot different if it was woman posting. If taken at face value OP owns a house that his DP does not pay for, she has fucked someone else, now refusing to move out and her DS is actually living with his Dad. So why such a hard time , oh yea I know OP is a man

Original poster

snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 15:08

Towicymru
There isn't a relationship to get advice on. I was wondering if others had lived and gotten through this scenario. Advice on what to do.
I will speak to a lawyer just to protect myself.

OP posts:

Lweji · 03/12/2013 15:09

It's not your call to judge what or where she may go.

It's not my call either. I just wondered if there was an explanation as to why she hadn't moved yet.

Rents can be very high at the moment.

In any case, why don't you try to get a solicitor free first appointment, or seek legal advice from someone who knows about law?

You sound like you want to vent, though.

Blossomflowers · 03/12/2013 15:12

Do you still love her snow? you sound rather angry, quite understandable in the circumstance

Original poster

snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 15:13

Verysmallsqueak
It doesn't matter to me. You and others are asking about my ex.about her health, finance, etc.

Sorry I meant Saturday morning. I have arranged to take my ex to live with her mum. Just need to pack her up and break the news to her

OP posts:

VerySmallSqueak · 03/12/2013 15:14

I think speaking to a lawyer is a good idea snow.It's possibly the quickest way to move forward.

Try to do this cleanly without swearing and showdowns for the sake of her DS. For him,if you feel too upset at her to do it for her.

VerySmallSqueak · 03/12/2013 15:17

Do you think you can do this packing up and moving with tempers being kept?

(Genuine question - not having a go!)

Original poster

snowshepherd · 03/12/2013 15:19

Lewj
I don't care where she goes. As long as she isn't in my home. I think she hasn't moved out because she doesn't want to accept that her free accommodation is over. Maybe she wants the house or something. Maybe she wants to stay together.

Blossom
I don't love her. I just want the squatter to move out. I want my life to move on now. I'm dating but it's a bad look having an ex at home lol

OP posts:

mrssmith79 · 03/12/2013 15:20

Make sure your backside is covered legal-wise, box her things up and make sure they are safe and accessible to her, change the locks and (to avoid the earache) your number.
Draw a line and get on with your life.
If I had been forced to spend a month under the same roof, MY roof, as someone who did what you alledge, i'd be awarding myself a sainthood!

HansieMom · 03/12/2013 15:24

You don't need to "pack her up". They are her belongings. Leave her things alone.

Blossomflowers · 03/12/2013 15:30

Hansie if I was the OP, my DP would not need to pack his stuff it would be in a black bag on the lawn. If it is all true!

gamerchick · 03/12/2013 15:38

You've been together 8 years.. split up 4 weeks ago and you're dating already?

Good luck with the moving out thing.. sounds like it's for the best.

Lweji · 03/12/2013 15:42

Probably a reaction to her cheating.

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