The dating thread 66

[LividofLondon]

Seeing as thread 65 is now full.

Nothing to report here. I'm still in almost daily contact with MrK but due to his work was not able to meet this weekend. We're hoping to arrange something for this coming weekend, so fingers crossed. I keep reminding myself that every-other weekend is fine, but it just seems such a long wait in between

Seeing as I'm trying to keep my cool and my plan was only for something casual, I'm still looking for more dates. But there's no-one I like online at the moment [sigh]

Thank you master and I hope you feel better soon

Thank you too lies guess we have to just keep being positive. Tomorrow I've decided to decorate my bedroom, not very exciting but very therapeutic and hell will I feel good when its done :)

I signed up for eHarmony last night. This morning I attempted to use the site and after five minutes gave up and deleted my profile. Apparently there are no matches that meet my criteria within 60 miles of my nearest big town. That 60 mile radius includes London.

The eHarmony website is AWFUL.

And no, I haven't been particularly specific with results either - male, 35-45, kids or no kids, don't think I specified height, certainly didn't specify ethnicity, single, divorced or widowed, college education as minimum.

That's can't be right, can it?

eHarmony Is a waste of time, and it's impossible to navigate this new look website, and I personally don't think there are enough active fully paid up candidates on there!

Try one of the others, Match, POF, etc.

Thanks guys!

Hello,

Is it ok if I share my first OD experience with you people? This was my first time dipping my toe in after my marriage ended last year.

I met someone and we clicked instantly. We've 'seen' each other for about 2 1/2 months, but after too many niggles for me, I decided to call it a day today. Good job I did. He confessed he's still in a 3 year relationship - he pulled over to take my call as he was driving to hers for a NYE party.. I now feel shit and like my judgement is down the pan. My signs were:

• Initial reluctance to meet - he kept saying 'let's take this at your pace'. I pushed for the first meeting, I think he would've been happy for a pen pal for quite a while.

• After we did meet I got a few texts 'I really really like you'. Often got a couple of 'Dying to see you' after he had been quiet for a few days.

• Erratic communications - sometimes very full on, other times quiet. Frequently quiet at the weekend.

• One time he ducked out of a date at the last minute. Came round the next day to 'make it up' to me. Guilt.

• I even got the 'left phone charger at work' one weekend.

• Kept talking about a 'great connection' when we were together. But then going quietish for days.

• Reluctant to make plans - most of our meetings were last minute - usually initiated him (I'm mother to a young baby so he knows I'll be at home in the evening etc).

• Great reluctant to reveal much about himself. I never knew what he was doing really - not that I needed to, but he was extremely guarded.

• Admitted early on he was charming and found it easy to built a rapport with people (big big sigh here on my part, why do I always fall for these types!!).

I will probably go back to online dating in the new year, but this has taught me a lot. I feel really disappointed, though my bullshit radar I think is better tuned after my marriage ended (ex had an affair).

I always had niggles, but was torn between the 'enjoy it and don't analyse it too much' camp,... but with the new year coming up I decided it was time to think about it a bit - especially when he wouldn't tell me what he was up to New Year's Eve!

During the call he said he was torn and hadn't the courage to end it with her, and went on the internet because he wanted to find a 'true connection with someone'.

Oh, and despite the fact that everything with me had been built on deceit, he felt he had found a true connection with me.

Okay,.......

He also said he wanted to come round and tell me everything, because I deserved to know.

I told him to forget it!

Hi Tricky

Sounds like my Science man...

My first experience too...felt very jaded but like you, all the clues were there, almost exactly as you described them!

Can't believe he's text me AGAIN! I told him last night I went someone whose available and he inst so don't contact me again

Just had long message saying he sorry and at least he was upfront, he could have kept it from me and made excuses why he couldn't see me much. He won't be in work when I get there, I'm a beautiful woman and he's gutted he won't get to know me, sorry again.

WTAF! Am I losing grip on reality here, or just incredibly naive. Thought I'd seen it all but he takes the biscuit

Oh Tricky such a BASTARDO!!! Sorry!

Stay positive, stay strong, it's NOT YOU, it's HIM and ALWAYS Follow your instinct, it's there for a reason.

Santa why have you not blocked him, are you secretly enjoying the texting???

I quickly stepped out to Sainsburys, felt light headed but we needed milk etc. now back in my bed, hot water bottle and feeling much better! NYE is a write off! Oh well.......

I can't block numbers on my phone, it's a really old samsung thingy

Looks like everyone feels the same about eHarmony - I feel sorry for the people who have actually paid the subs and are stuck with it for three months or God forbid - a year!

@PO - that is very disappointing for you, it's an important day today if you're seeing someone, tonight of all nights you would hope to be in their company, but at least he's in constant contact which is a good sign, I'm not sure if it's a red flag really, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. Get yourself well and chin up for the New Year.

@Santa - he sounds entitled, and that coupled with going into such detail to a woman at work he barely knows would scream 'trouble' to me. Ignore, nothing more to say to this guy.

Yes that's all I can do is ignore and ignore some more, I haven't replied to this one so I hope that's the last. When I do see him at work if I have to I will coolly say hello and that's it.

Hope everyone has a good evening and a very happy new year xx
Off to work now

Tricky....how awful. I shall look out for his type.
Master....sorr u are ill. Im in bed with a flu type thing.
Santa....id ignore too or change your number.

I am new to OD. Had 3 dates so far. First one lived too far away and not enough spark for me to travel. Nuber 2 had a wonky eye not visible in his profile. And number 3 was on Sunday night. No spark for me.
Ive got chatting to number 4. Physically he is my type. We have a lot in common. He called me yesterday for a chat and he sounds lovely. However, he mentioned he isnt attracted to 'bi' women. Hes a real gym buff. Now i am a curvy 12-14 and im thinking should i just not bother meeting and save myself grief? He obviously was attracted to my face but im thinking he might not like the rest of me. Should i even be worrying about this stuff? My ex who EA often said i was fat so its an issue i already have.

Santa, stay positive! have a great NYE, I'm going to be online throughout day/night, if you feel like ranting/chatting.

Hansel I'm keeping things cool with him, only been on one date with him so I've got no choice really!

Flora are you bisexual or biracial???

I can relate to the weight thing, what I tend to do is tell them in no uncertain terms that I'm no size 8/10, I do also have a full length pic on my profile, but it's important to me that they are fully aware I'm no Kate Moss etc. makes rejection easier lol TELL HIM and/or send him a full length pic so he can decide about meeting you before you both waste each other's time!

Sorry...my sausage fingers on the phone...lol 'big' women.
I have a head to waist shot on my profile which he liked. Good idea...i shall send him a full length shot.
I am a 12 on the bottom and 14 on top (got big boobs!). Best to be upfront. I look crap today though as got flu type bug. Will look out one from my xmas night out.

I've just returned from my beautician, she encouraged me to try OD after I'd given up, this was last December after she'd met a guy on MatchAffinity. She shared the happy news that she's now engaged at the ripe "old age" of 45!!!!! We screamed, we danced, THERE IS HOPE

I think I've got lucky with regards to eHarmony. Signed up in November and met a lovely guy on there who I've been seeing lots of - I can't quite believe it as he's everything I've been looking for and seems to be a really genuine guy. No red flags at all!

I haven't been on the site lately so unsure as to how it's changed?

Wishing you all a happy and loving New Year.

I think you can get lucky on most of the dating sites, but I've only tried match and pof. Found pof better for the sheer volume of traffic and obviously I did ok on there (fingers crossed!)

ppy New year everyone!

Happy New Year everyone!!! I'm off out, party dress on, sparkly tights, heels, I will not be wallowing tonight!!

I hope everyone has a nice evening - whether that be with your new people or just spoiling yourself having a night in - just think what all those idiots who have messed us around/let us go are missing out on. Silly people. Wishing everyone a very happy, knobber-free new year!

Same from me people off out on my date...keep your fingers crossed for a kiss and some sparks for me and Mr Lovely!

I echo OneDay and wish you a very happy, knobber-free 2014!

I have a date a week on Saturday, first one in many years. I met her on OkCupid, I'm both nervous and exited.

Siquando CHEERS TO FINDING LOVE IN 2014!!!!!