The dating thread 66

[LividofLondon]

Seeing as thread 65 is now full.

Nothing to report here. I'm still in almost daily contact with MrK but due to his work was not able to meet this weekend. We're hoping to arrange something for this coming weekend, so fingers crossed. I keep reminding myself that every-other weekend is fine, but it just seems such a long wait in between

Seeing as I'm trying to keep my cool and my plan was only for something casual, I'm still looking for more dates. But there's no-one I like online at the moment [sigh]

[Poffedoff]

Hello all... its been ages since I posted on here but have been following the thread closely and enjoying reading all your dating news..
some of you might remember I've been dating a guy I met on pof way back in May... bit of a ldr but managed to see each other once a week more or less. No point in going into the nitty gritties of the relationship with you all but suffice it to say I fell pretty hard, i'm pretty mad about him and he made a very good job at convincing me he felt the same...
One hiccup earlier in the year when I discovered he'd signed back onto pof... I confronted him and he convinced me it was only to say his goodbyes to one or two women..he then deleted it...
long and short of it is I've just found him on there again tonight.. totally and utterly gutted..I really need your help coming up with a suitable fuck off text for him...do I say I found him on pof or just break it off without letting him know the real reason??
If you think I would be better off starting a separate thread for this then please say, don't want to hijack..

[MyChildDoesntNeedSleep]

poffedoff I've come to be a massive fan of just ignoring. I've had it happen to me and it's infuriating, and I've seen on Mumsnet how agonising it is. So why not just blank the fucker?

[Poffedoff]

Ha yeah, thought that myself.. after 7 months though?

[FloraSpreadableMacDonald]

Ok...number 5 is a no goer....he sent me recent pics and hes not as nice as in his pof profile. What do i do...weve been flirting....and hes calling me saturday!!

[Bant]

Flora - OD photos are always carefully selected. Are your photos typical ones of you? Everyone chooses the most flattering ones, that's why you should always trust the worst photos

If he seems not-actually-ugly but is interesting and funny and nice, then meet/call him.

[FloraSpreadableMacDonald]

My pof pics are recent...one taken at my xmas do and one selfie at home. One is of me in my jeans in a pub. I look like them. Id say selected though. He looks very different and the first thing i noticed were his teeth. Im a stickler for oral hygiene :0(

[Bant]

oh if it's something like that, a bad teeth thing, then okay. Bad teeth can make someone ugly.

[FloraSpreadableMacDonald]

They look like a smokers teeth...yuk.
I need to be more careful i think. I chatted to him before he put a pic on his profile. Im all for personality first but neet physical chemistry too.

[Poffedoff]

He's just texted, asking me why I hadn't said goodnight..told him Id had some bad news, that it seems we are basically just fuck buddies after all, that I wished he could have been more honest and it would have saved so much time and effort...no reply yet but I couldn't care less.. fuck him

[FloraSpreadableMacDonald]

Poff...just read your post...must have missed it when i was typing mine.
I would be sooooo angry. I presume u are not a member and just looked him up with his user name? A bit careless of him to use the same name!!
I would tell him you saw him on it and ask whats going on....grrrr! Hugs.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Poffed.... had been wondering how you were, and very sad to read that indeed all men are wankers, seriously, what is he thinking? And suitable text? No, 7 months of your life, you face to face ask him why he thinks his behaviour is acceptable

I am outraged for you

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

And as for me, just got in.... need to calm down but suffice to say speed dating was all fun and games until one guy basically assaulted me (pushed me down "in defence" of me) and it all went downhill from there. Actually a bit relieved he showed his colours early or I may have been seduced into a relationship with an abusive asshole. But fuck me that was inappropriate behaviour, not quite sure what to do about it, need to sleep on it

[Poffedoff]

Thanks guys,

Oneday I'm afraid its too late to have it out face to face with him..Didn't even have to mention pof in the end, he hasn't replied which is pretty unreal considering... Don't know if you remember but I was unbelievably cautious about getting serious, stuck firmly to the rules etc.

Doubt I will ever trust another guy after this, honestly he couldn't have been more convincing and sincere..

[Poffedoff]

But Jesus, a guy at speed dating assaulted you?? what. The. Actual. Fuck!

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

I know right? Stayed for a few drinks after with a bunch of others, met some nice girls ha. i think 3 of us and 5 guys stayed at the end. At the very end one guy would not leave me alone despite me saying, please go away, leave me alone etc and this other guy who had been fairly nice until that point if a bit obviously flirty with me, flew to my "defence" and when I said oi, piss off mate that is unnecessary (he was physically holding my shoulders from behind, also a bit possessive) he pushed me back on the chest hard enough so I had to catch my balance and got a bit aggressive in my face. Literally blinked and asked did you really just push me, like, wtaf, and it was like talking to a toddler saying "don't push people, pushing people is not nice".

Ah well. 3 guys have my phone number (did not give it to Mr McShovey, thank goodness) and 1 girl haha new single girl mate lol. 1 nice geeky guy who walked me to my bus at the end has texted hope I got h

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

home ok etc.

Felt quite upset last night about it. Just so inappropriate to do that to anyone let alone someone you've just met and are trying to make a good impression on. Like wow. Literally pushing girls around. I think I knocked back into someone who caught me or I'd have gone over. It all happened a bit quick. But bouncers asked him and the other guy to leave.

There was also 6 guys short despite it being sold out for men. If I don't tick any boxes I get another night free..... seeing as I gave my number to interesting ppl anyway, and after the bad taste from the end, I might tick no boxes and do it again.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Poffed.... you will find trust with someone again. Don't let one wanker spoil the rest of your life. But it's fine to hurt right now and retreat to lick your wounds a bit. I'm sorry.

[Santaclaws]

oneday my god I'm starting to think all men are crazy. Hope you are ok

poffedoff how awful for you, just wtaf is wrong with them. Maybe it's all just to accessible for men nowadays, all to easy to pick up the next one without even leaving the comfort of their home :(
It's a bit similar to what happened to me. Met someone on match he seemed to fall madly for me almost immediately, took me slightly longer but I did fall heavily. Saw eachother 3 nights a week and all weekend for 3 months. Said he loved me had met the person he'd been looking for. Then started to go cool on me. When I questioned what had changed in the relationship it went from bad to worse. I could tell he didn't want it anymore. Hot to cold. I see he is now back on match though he said he didn't really like dating sites, had never use done before me and wouldn't do it again if we ever split. For all I know he might have reactivated whilst seeing me because at his suggestion we cancelled subscriptions together but his still had 4 months paid up so he could activate at any time. Well rid I say!

[FolkGirl]

I always say to people that OD is a bit like agency working.

Some people do agency work because they like the flexibility, because they have moved areas/finished university/had a change in circumstances and don't want to be unemployed for any length of time, or because one fixed term contract job has finished before they've had chance to secure another. And some people do temp/agency work because no one would employ them permanently.

OD is the same. Some people are doing it because a relationship has ended and they don't meet suitable people in their real life; some people do it because they've moved areas, don't know anyone and aren't a going and chatting people up in pubs sort of a person. And some people do it because they aren't capable of maintaining a LTR.

[powpow80]

Morning all,

Oneday- sweet Jesus about the shoving. What the hell was he playing at. Nice that you got a few nice guys' numbers.

Folk- delighted to hear you have begun to get your new bedroom sorted. Be amazing to have your own sanctuary.

Poffed- really sorry to hear about this guy. Definitely do have some time to cry and rage about this. I know you feel like you won't trust another guy at the moment. However I firmly believe someone will happen along who will blow you away someday.

Flora- I'd be the same on the teeth. Are they really bad?

As for me. Chatting to a few guys on Pof. One guy I'd be more interested in than the others. He's funny and it's really easy to chat. He lives a bit far away but works where I live quite often. Then yesterday he asked if he could meet me when down here next week but wanted to tell me something first. Had a ons with an ex recently and she is now pregnant! That's way too complicated for me to even think about getting in the middle of.

[Poffedoff]

Santa I read your posts about that guy, sounds very similar alright..now that I know pofguy is a complete wanker a few more things are falling into place but then hindsight's a great thing.

Did you have any suitable closure on it when confronted or did he just disappear? (like this arsehole seems to have done)

I'm determined not to ruin the start of 2014 by wallowing, I won't be jumping straight onto pof again but never say never!

[HanselandGretel]

Poffe that sounds crass, he obviously knows he's been rumbled. Let him squirm in his own juices now. No doubt he will try and get in touch when he has thought of some excuse or maybe will disappear for good, what matters is you have seen his true colours...he should have spoke to you if he was having doubts about your relationship...another 'branch-swinger' I fear, lining the next one up before letting go of the one they are with.

I think your situation warrants it's own thread for fear of getting less people on here and becoming lost in the thread.

[Santaclaws]

poffe I did have closure of sorts in that I emailed him after a couple of days, I guess he expected that as it wasn't the first time he'd walked out when I tried to initiate a conversation about something he didn't want to speak about. I always told him I like to be open and upfront and wish the same in return. Anyway sent email asking if he had just left to cool off or was he wanting the relationship to end, as if it was the latter I wanted to move on. Reply was basically a list of what I'd done wrong and him saying it was best if I moved on, oh and it was all my fault we no longer had a future. I never contacted him again. But at least I knew

Mr married has txt again this morning asking if he can buy me a birthday card ( when we chatted at work we discovered our birthdays are within days of eachother) he's using this as evidence we are alike and meant for eachother. I am plucking up courage to send a txt mentioning harassment . I didn't want it to come to this as we have to work together occasionally

[MasterP0]

OMG OneDay that's terrible, glad you're ok. Happy you managed to exchange numbers though.

Poffe SIGH, I can only SHAKE MY DAMN HEAD! These boys need to grow up., Next...........

Flora I'm the same re: Oral hygiene! Lesson learnt though, NO PIX (plural), NO CHAT! They need to invest in tooth whitening, a great set of teeth can do wonders for a person!

KScience hahahaha! I'm on POF & Tinder at the moment, I've seen most of the Match.com guys on POF and I ALWAYS send a sarcastic email (very bitchy and childish of me I know lol).

I'm FINALLY back to normal today, hormones/horniness has subsided, THANK LAWD!!!!!! I was getting a bit carried away! I also feel LOADS better re: chest infection.

Still in contact with Mr Wales, Mr Tinder is a wolf in wolfs clothing (if that makes sense), but I at least know EXACTLY what the deal is with him, which is a good thing! Still chatting to him. Some "nice" guys on Tinder so I'm keeping my options open with everyone until I'm exclusive with someone!