The dating thread 66

[LividofLondon]

Seeing as thread 65 is now full.

Nothing to report here. I'm still in almost daily contact with MrK but due to his work was not able to meet this weekend. We're hoping to arrange something for this coming weekend, so fingers crossed. I keep reminding myself that every-other weekend is fine, but it just seems such a long wait in between

Seeing as I'm trying to keep my cool and my plan was only for something casual, I'm still looking for more dates. But there's no-one I like online at the moment [sigh]

[FloraSpreadableMacDonald]

Let us know how u get on Claws.
Ok...my bloke 4 has replied saying hes been chilling for a couple of days, a bit about going walking and hope me and kids having fun staying at my friends. Nothing about meeting up. I did say i couldnt until i got home. Im so confused....

[HanselandGretel]

@Santaclaws - that is bonkers, the guy is seriously overstepping boundaries; you have painstakingly made it clear you have no interest...any more from him I would say 'I will not be replying to any further texts, therefore if you continue to text me it will be classed as harassment and I will seek police intervention'...that should shut him the f up.

[Bant]

Santa - try and let the HR department know if he doesn't stop texting you after the 'harassment' text suggested earlier.

Flora - have you met bloke4 yet? If not, just leave it be, he's not chasing you at the moment, try not to read too much into it.

The problem with OD emailing is that you're basically taking what would amount to a 5 minute real life conversation with someone and stretching it out over days, or possibly weeks. All that witty banter, thoughtful insights, makes it seem much more meaningful than it actually is. And while they're being chatty and endearing with you, they're doing it with others at the same time, probably. They only seem more witty and endearing because they've had time to think about a response.

It's only once you've had the first meeting and decided you like each other, and the second and third dates and thinking you really like each other, that you should allow yourself to get confused or upset if something goes wrong. Before that, it's just a 5 minute conversation with a stranger, and you really shouldn't get wound up about it.

[FloraSpreadableMacDonald]

Bant....havent met as im staying with my friend for a few days...home tomorrow. He called me the day before i left and we chatted for ages on the phone. He hasnt been back oline since our chat. His DF did pass away a year ago so he may be a bit quiet just now. Ive sent a reply which leaves the arrangement for a meeting up to him. We shall see.

[MasterP0]

KScience you download the app and it uses your facebook login details, DONT worry your FB friends can't see and it doesn't access all your pix etc, only your profile pic (I did ALOT of research before joining).

It's FREE, you are linked to people in and around your area, you have to "like" or "dislike" purely based on looks, and if you both like each other you can communicate. If either has liked and the other hasn't, you'll never know as it doesn't tell you, so ZERO REJECTED FEELINGS!!!

I'm chatting to a few guys, some have been honest enough to let me know that they're looking for friends With Benefits, currently chatting to one who says he's too busy for a relationship.....WELL ALRIGHTY THEN! rolling my eyes at him

Flora & Siquando AGE AINT NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!

[HanselandGretel]

I think my number 4 has cast his net elsewhere for sure, he's online each time I've logged on yet no message since yesterday. It's the way of OD, so like Bant said, Flora, it's not to be taken personally, certainly not before you have met and gone on a couple of dates.

[MasterP0]

So I've just received this from the Tinder guy I added onto whatsapp "so darlin, you a sexy biatch?"
SHUDDER

Dear Lord, please forgive him for he knows what he's doing! Amen

Shaking My Damn Head....

[SoftKittyWarmKitty]

Santa he's made this awkward, not you. Don't delete the texts as you may need them as evidence if you need to complain. I think you need to be direct and text him something along the lines of 'I have asked you nicely not to text me. I'm now telling you in no uncertain terms to stop contacting me. Do not contact me again. If you continue to harass me I will have no choice but to take it further.'

If he carries on, don't hesitate to contact your boss.

[FloraSpreadableMacDonald]

Ok...number 4 text me back...no sign of asking to meet up..just chatty ...so sent one back asking if hes still interested in meeting and if not i understood. Cant be arsed with being mucked around.

[Santaclaws]

kitty this is really worrying me now. It started with us chatting at work he asked me out for a coffee then gave me his number. A few days later I txt him, god I wish I hadn't now. I saw him for the second time at work and all was ok we arranged a date, then when texting later he said he still live with his wife, didn't get on blah blah blah. I put the brakes on right there. I have deleted the early texts but have the ones from last couple of days.

Your right he's made it awkward now, I said forget it and be professional at work. I'm worried because I really don't want anyone at work knowing I gave him my number and if it carries on I will have to go to my manager. I will try saying what you've suggested if I hear again

[SoftKittyWarmKitty]

This isn't your fault Santa. You gave him your number in all innocence thinking he was single. He's the one in the wrong here, on all levels. Don't worry about what work might say. Personally if I were you I'd discuss it with work sooner rather than later if he doesn't back off, in case he gets in first with a cock and bull story. That's why I said to keep the texts but I see you are. Try not to worry, we're all on your side.

[kscience]

OMG 2 men who can write in full sentences...I have struck GOLD ladies

and both on the free site...go figure

[HanselandGretel]

Ha, you go kscience...get in there

[Santaclaws]

Thanks kitty sometimes I just wonder what it is about me that I get into these messes. Perhaps I was too nice when I found out about the wife, maybe a lot of people would have said f.. Off , whereas I said politely I make it a rule not to see anyone whose married. Perhaps I've been too polite. But I did say to him also " I want someone whose available and your not so don't text me again" I will have to be more blunt

[Bant]

If I were you Santa, if you do end up texting him to tell him the harassment thing, I'd recap the situation. - like 'look, I went out with you for a drink because you seemed like a nice guy, and only then did I find out you were married and trying to cheat on your wife. I don't want to be involved with you, I don't want you contacting me again, if you do I'll have to .. Etc etc'

Don't mention the fact that that is record-keeping, he won't argue with the facts, just his perception of the emotional side. That way you have evidence if you need

[Santaclaws]

kscience you go girl :)

[Santaclaws]

bant I never even went for a drink I found out about wife before that and called a halt. All this is on the back of seeing me only twice at work. That's what's scary

[kscience]

Santa...it's not you it IS HIM. Its OK I have somewhere tattooed on my person in a special ink...WIERDOS ONLY NEED APPLY.... as soon as I find it and find a way to get rid of it my life will be SOOO much easier

[Santaclaws]

yes I think I must have been born with one of those tattoos also

[Bant]

Santa - the other thing is finding out how to block his number. Most phones these days will allow it, although it may need some googling. Also you can contact your phone company and get them to block his number if it comes to that.

Make sure you can save the texts though

[Santaclaws]

bant my phones really old so I can't, but could try asking my network to do it though. Ideally I would like to know that he has left me alone though, not just that I'm not receiving messages he's sending, because its quite scary living alone and having someone behave like this ( not that I've told him where I live)

[kscience]

I have signed up for tooo many sites. The world and his wife are online tonight. I have seen far too many familiar faces, including a good friends ex hubby (who should include a health warning on his profile), but more disturbingly my exH (who is still "happily" married to OW he left me for MANY years ago).

MY HEAD HURTS...Someone PLEASE poke my eyes out

[FloraSpreadableMacDonald]

Oh my science.....your ex should be ashamed.
Ive not seen anyone i fancy tonight. What are all the free sites?
No reply from bloke 4. Talking to bloke 5. Hes asked if he can call me and then take me out. Hes quite nice. Hes tall and a joner/ property dev. Watch this space.

[FolkGirl]

Thought I'd better update...

I didn't get away afterall, despite having bought the tickets, because my passport didn't arrive on time. I didn't confess on here to having applied for my passport last minute too because I didn't want to read that it might not arrive in time... It didn't. It was down to the Christmas post though, rather than applying late because the date of issue is 8 days before the flight date but it didn't arrive until an hour before the flight was due and it was just impossible.

Anyway...

We've emailed a fair bit, not loads. He's said he misses me and he's suggested another time when we could go, which would work better really, and now I have my passport, I'm damn well going to use it! I went to stay with him the weekend his flight was due out. I wasn't very well and he took very good care of me. He sent me home with a jumper to remind me of him whilst he was away. I've slept in it pretty much every night for a fortnight! It's in the wash as we speak :) I've been ok whilst he was away, but I'm beginning to really miss him now I know he's coming back in a few days. Don't know when I'll get to see him though. I'll have to see if my ex will re-jig our weekends so that I can see him next weekend.

I have bought the paint and the bedding for my bedroom, I've ordered the bed and am just waiting for that. I'm making a decision on chests of drawers now...

Bring on 2014 - I'm ready for it! ;-)

[HanselandGretel]

flora - bloke 4 was happy to 'text chat' but goes quiet when a solid meeting is suggested...that drives me up the wall and back down again. If he texts tomorrow and tries to just carry on chatting please do not let him! You want to meet and don't fall into the trap of becoming a text buddy, it's not on.