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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The dating thread 66

999 replies

LividofLondon · 02/12/2013 16:43

Seeing as thread 65 is now full.

Nothing to report here. I'm still in almost daily contact with MrK but due to his work was not able to meet this weekend. We're hoping to arrange something for this coming weekend, so fingers crossed. I keep reminding myself that every-other weekend is fine, but it just seems such a long wait in between Sad

Seeing as I'm trying to keep my cool and my plan was only for something casual, I'm still looking for more dates. But there's no-one I like online at the moment [sigh]

OP posts:
girliefriend · 29/12/2013 10:16

Hi all I have news

I have dtd with smallfeet Grin

and

can confirm that in this case small feet does not equate small anything else Grin Grin

It appears I have a bona fide boyfriend!

Santaclaws · 29/12/2013 10:18

queen I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well. I too am alone this new year. My ex of 4 years who I have seen a couple of times over the last couple of weeks before Xmas let me down also. He has said ( after initially saying) he would spend it with me, that he doesn't know what he's doing and if there's nothing he will come down, and apparently he really wants to try again. Yeh right sorry but I'm not being his fallback, if he wanted me he'd be here. It's for the best anyway he was an abusive arse quite often. Although I'm mad I've allowed him to hurt me a bit again

oneday he works occasionally at my workplace but when he's there we are around eachother a lot as its a small place. But he has a different role to me iyswim. He has been texting quite a few times last evening and twice this morning. I'm keeping it to a minimum though because I don't want to get stuck in texting relationship. Will see I'm tomorrow so see what happens.

LiesDamnLiesandStatistics · 29/12/2013 10:24

Queen sorry things aren't going according to plan. Good reason or crappy one?

Santa Indeed! Grin

OneDay Ha ha!! Loving the charity shop that is POF. Never tried OKC, that may be my New Year, new start!

Thank you for the welcome everyone Thanks

kscience · 29/12/2013 10:26

Girlie glad things going well

What is OKC???

LiesDamnLiesandStatistics · 29/12/2013 10:36

kscience I needed to google this morning - OKCupid

LiesDamnLiesandStatistics · 29/12/2013 10:47

Sorry girlie cross posted. I am giving you a mini standing ovation!
Glad things went well for you!

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 29/12/2013 10:55

OKC = OKCupid. I think I might ring the changes and sign up there. Although I read an online review saying it was full of ''alternatively-oriented'' people....(ie BDSM/couple looking for threesomes I mean, realised that could sound homophobic!!!). Could at least provide for some more entertaining messages then ''Hey sexy, I'd like to google your facebook and have you twitter my buzzfeed'' (seriously)

Girlie yaaayyyy!!! Sounds like you had an enjoyable night!!! So when are you seeing each other again?? Ar you having a lazy Sunday together? Aah, lazy Sundays.... tells self to snap out of it

kscience I have similar issues with views but few messages and no replies, and am wondering about a profile revamp. But then I think that I'm quite honest in my profile about the sort of person I am and if that puts people off then, well, never mind!

Queen sorry it's sounding a bit shitty. It's a horrible feeling when we think things are about to go belly up. What's his reasoning about NYE?

It appears to be the season for people resurfacing. I just got a facebook friend request from a guy I had a one-night stand with back in February. FEBRUARY!! He only has my email address because I had to ask him if I'd left something there, and the whole story was drunken/hilarious. He must have used my email to find me on facebook. Very odd.

INeedSomeHelp · 29/12/2013 10:55

Can I join the thread please? I have some experience of OD having met STBXH on match. However, as the STBX bit suggests, it wasn't a roaring success!

I rejoined match again a few months ago having been on my own again for over a year. Didn't pay much attention to start with but have been properly looking over last few weeks.

Guy 1 - got chatting and he seemed nice. Same age and divorced with no kids so similar background. Chatted over Christmas and agreed to meet this weekend although no definite plans made. Messages have since dried up so I guess he's had second thoughts. And I am NOT chasing after him.

Guy 2 - lives a bit further away but visits my area regularly. Again we have chatted a fair bit and he seems lovely. He thinks he will be visiting in a few weeks and has asked to meet for coffee then. Will wait and see as a few weeks is a long time in OD world!

Guy 3 - looks like a film star in his photos. There is more than one and he looks like that in all of them. No idea why he mailed me as he's in London and I'm in Scotland. Think he might be a mole for match to try and get me to renew my membership! Just enjoying looking at his photos as he is so very good looking.

Sorry for the essay but that's my up to date position. Oh, there is also a very unsuitable fb lurking in the background who I am trying to disengage from as he is very bad for me.

kscience · 29/12/2013 11:08

One day I think I need new photos but hate having my pic taken and dont look much like any of my pics

I need help.... all seem to have their own complications

Why cant this stuff be more straightforward???

kscience · 29/12/2013 11:12

Right peeps profile needs upgrade........where do you start???

INeedSomeHelp · 29/12/2013 11:18

kscience I know what you mean about photos. I find the ones I like best (or hate least) are ones that I didn't know were being taken. Ones that I've posed for are generally awful - and as for selfies....!

Can you trawl through your Facebook photos (if you have them) and see if there's anything suitable. Even if it means using a group one and cropping other people out.

kscience · 29/12/2013 11:54

I need I am in VERY few photos, mostly I am on a horse if I allow my pic to be taken at all (HATE having pic taken, but do consider myself reasonably attractive)

Bant · 29/12/2013 11:57

Morning all, Lazy sunday watching TV for me.

Kscience - OD profile guidelines:

Avoid overused cliches: Don't talk about long walks on the beach, work hard/play hard, going out/staying in with DVD and wine. That describes 90% of the population. Talk a bit about you, then talk a bit about what you want in a bloke. 3 paragraphs tops, you don't have to fill in the whole box but give interesting guys some ice-breakers. First paragraph witty and amusing, second paragraph about you, third paragraph about what you're looking for in a bloke. That should do it.

Profile photos: One face shot, one full length. Personally I find pictures of women on horseback unappealing, and holiday photos are not good unless you look really good in them. I've seen enough pictures of people posing in front of the pyramids to last a lifetime. None with someone arm draped around you.

Be funny - a catchy amusing one-liner headline is a very good start. One of the most memorable I saw was 'the poets have been remarkably silent on the subject of cheese' - that still sticks in my head a year after seeing it.

Don't refer to 'players, liars, cheats' etc, it makes a person sound angry.

Good grammar and spelling, proper use of punctuation. Sounds nitpicky but bad grammar really puts me off. Avoid 'lol' and definitely 'lmao'

One thing you can do is to browse other women's profiles, if that's possible to do on the site you're using, and pick up a few hints.

Ineedsomehelp - have you tried googling the Film Star's photos? Photos that look too good to be true often are. You can use google, upload the photo and it will often find if it's a stock publicity pic of an actor. Several people on this thread have found that to be the case.

kscience · 29/12/2013 11:57

Anyone heard about Kissing gate?

INeedSomeHelp · 29/12/2013 12:30

Bant - thanks for that, I had no idea you could do that. Will try later when I'm on the laptop. Although, to be honest, I'm not taking him the least bit seriously anyway. He's so far away and his emails are quite infrequent so I am not expecting or hoping for anything to come of it.

MasterP0 · 29/12/2013 12:41

Morning!

Well my 3hr convo guy turned into another 5 hours of more phone chatting, so in total we were talking for 9hours YIKES!!!!! This morning I'm feeling much much better, but still prefer to take it easy, he wants to meet for coffee, I've said no. We just did Face2Face chat whilst still both in bed this morning, we are going to see how the day progresses,but we've now decided to spend NYE together!

I'm about to call him back as I had to step up earlier, I'm just going with the flow, if it happens it happens, if not THERES PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA!

Jarlin · 29/12/2013 13:08

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brokenhearted55a · 29/12/2013 13:11

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MasterP0 · 29/12/2013 13:22

My POF guy is driving over for a date today, YIIIIPPPPEEEE, I hope he likey and I hope I likey!

Good to see everyone is getting in on the action! I've been alone for NYE for over 10 year, I wonder if this year will be different?!?!?!

brokenhearted55a · 29/12/2013 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jarlin · 29/12/2013 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

myownhero · 29/12/2013 14:04

Can anyone give me some advice about profiles on POF? I seem to get very little interest on POF compared to Lovestruck/OKC. Is there some special rule to writing a profile on there or getting it up the top of search?

I wonder if it's just that compared to the other sites it's a bit of a dive bar and my profile isn't flirty/sexy enough to stand out.

Also has anyone followed The Rules on limiting your profile copy to create mystery? And have you seen increased success with this? I am so loathe to cut out all semblance of personality because I just cannot stand the bland profiles that I read, but perhaps this really would catch more fish?

Finally if anyone remembers my post from a while ago.... the guy I had a hot date with but who then hung me out to dry with a line about an ex-gf on the scene, has been viewing my profile yet again. Rest assured I am still playing it cool though peeps. Let's see if I can reel him in by doing absolutely nothing but showing how fabulously hot I am in my updated profile!

Ms23 · 29/12/2013 14:39

So I have a 1st date with a Tinder man tonight - and another one (with a different man) on 1st Jan. I'm also fairly frequently messaging 3 others and am still in touch with a guy I had a date with but lives too far away to feasibly have a relationship with. Is this bad OD ettiquette or is it what everyone does?? I'm pretty new to the whole thing.

MasterP0 · 29/12/2013 14:52

Ms23 that's exactly how we should be dating, until you decide to go exclusive!

My Own - well I could copy and paste mine, but mine is straight to the point about what I'm looking for and what I'm not looking for! I for one don't have time for games and seeming mysterious bla bla bla, take me as I am or leave me alone! I generally get a lot of offers but I'm bored with serial dating, it can be exhausting! So I tend to speak to them all, assessing the one I REALLY like, and chat to him, meet ASAP, see if we click in RL and take it from there! I avoid dtd for as long as I can, last guy I dated we went on 10 dates before dtd was going well, decided to go exclusive and he dumped me silently after 4 months together!!!

girliefriend · 29/12/2013 15:12

Thanks everyone, am feeling pleased. He seems like a very straight forward nice bloke. My only concerns are;

  1. He is still married but separated.
  2. He lives in the house he bought with ex wife and hasn't bought her out which I find a bit Hmm
  3. He snores!

Otherwise things are going well, although due to getting slightly carried away this morning have taken the map today Blush having been single for so long really haven't had to think about contraception! Will try and get a gp appointment asap so can start taking the pill.

Whats the general consensus on asking about sexual health screening? I find talking about sex at all so embarrassing but want to be safe as well!!