The dating thread 66

[LividofLondon]

Seeing as thread 65 is now full.

Nothing to report here. I'm still in almost daily contact with MrK but due to his work was not able to meet this weekend. We're hoping to arrange something for this coming weekend, so fingers crossed. I keep reminding myself that every-other weekend is fine, but it just seems such a long wait in between

Seeing as I'm trying to keep my cool and my plan was only for something casual, I'm still looking for more dates. But there's no-one I like online at the moment [sigh]

I'm talking to a REALLY REALLY nice guy off POF, we've just spent 3 hours on the phone and if I wasn't ill I'd go out on a date with him tonight, ggrrrrrrrr I'm so frustrated! My GP refused to give me antibiotics yesterday so I think I'm going to be bed bound for a bit longer! STUPID INFECTION!!!!!!

3 hours?? hope you've got unlimited!

kscience - that sounds a nice evening after all, but I know what it's like having no one free to go out with. It always seems to be the way when I'm really in the mood for going out.

Potayto potahto, I know I made the wrong decision for the wrong reasons and admitted as much (as always wasn't quite as simple as I've written, but anyway), I'm not expecting anything to come from getting back in touch now but nothing ventured nothing gained. It's not like I'm just after him for sex.

Interestingly also just got a reply on MSF from someone I messaged 2 months ago but who never replied at the time. Weird huh.

Right am waiting for smallfeet to turn up, I am stupidly nervous for some reason, its set my ibs and anxiety off. However I am determined to go and enjoy myself - damn it!! Wish me luck

Good luck girlie!!! I understand the emotional-ibs trigger, I hope it calms down for you. Have a great night!

MasterPO You POF guy sounds great and three hours on the phone!! In a way it might be even better once you get to meet him with all that build up and anticipation
oneday good luck I hope he responds back to your text. I agree dumping by silence not nice BUT it's not all black and white; and you are not going back to him for just sex, I remember you posting a few weeks back and you really liked him so good luck to you

Re Tinder ... I've been using it for a week now and frankly I'm disappointed. I have a total of 24 matches, of which only two have bothered to actually message me (and one of them was a hiya ;-) which got deleted straight away). I have also messaged four guys and not one has responded. I get the feeling it might be fun for people to use the app (it is very addictive) but no one has any intention of ever communicating! I think I'll stick with OKC for now.

So, question to the thread. I've been talking to this guy for a week; like MasterPO's guy he's really, really nice and we have built quite a strong rapport by emailing and texting. We're meeting next week and if there's spark we are planning on meeting a couple of days after that (we are both off work; tricky with work and kids to find days when we are both free). So, it's his birthday on that potential second date, and it's a big one (the birthday, not the date). Would you do anything like cooking him dinner or something along those lines to celebrate taking into account that it would only be the second date? I don't think buying a present would be a good idea as too tricky to get right at this stage..... What would you all do? It's a major birthday and if I like him on the first date (I know, jumping the gun etc... ) I would like to do something simple to celebrate and not just go for drinks etc as any other day

Good luck girlie!!!!

Hi All,

Long time MN lurker and for some reason have only just ventured onto the relationship boards and found this thread. I have recently started online dating...I have precisely zero single friends and precisely zero friends who have done OD themselves so it is nice to read all your tales and realise I AM NOT ALONE!!!

Long story short been single a long time, busy life, demanding job, kids, other relatives to look after...in essence no room for me until fairly recently when I decided to take the plunge and sign up to a couple of sites. Quickly panicked and deleted my profiles before venturing back again and decided to go for it. Have to be honest met some freaks, some really nice guys but no sparks and then there are the arses...they're the ones I fall for...just so you know. I'm hoping I can meet the nice guy with the sparks sometime soon.

So I'm saying "Hello!" and I look forward to sharing some angst and lots of positive stories!!!

Evening all. Quiet Saturday night in for me.

Broken - the difference here is that you're part of the thread, Dimples is not. While he may be a lovely bloke, none of us really care if he gets hurt or not, but you seem to be in a position where you're open to letting yourself get hurt. The Thread is Wise. Although not always right. Him getting in touch with you is probably prelude to him dumping you after shagging you, after saying he doesn't want a relationship. OneDay didn't do that, she went silent and then is trying to re-initiate things. She's probably not going to shag-and-dump him, and if she did, we'd all wince inwardly but she's here, he's not, so while we would possibly say she was out of order a bit, we wouldn't have a go. We're concerned you're going to get hurt by this bloke, which is why we yell. Sorry if we actually seem like we're yelling we just don't want to see you get hurt.

Knowing - refer to the Rules. You haven't met the guy, you shouldn't be planning second dates yet, as chemistry/spark is weird, it could just be friendly but you could never see yourself kissing/naked with him once you've met. And what kind of bloke is arranging for a Big Birthday with someone he's never met before? Does he have friends? I've got a Big Birthday coming up in a couple of months and I'm choosing which country to spend it in with different friends. While it's great to plan, it's also a good idea to not plan with someone you just find physically repulsive once you've met, who may fancy the pants off you.

good luck girlie

and hello DamnLies - don't forget to read the Thread Rules about how not to get hurt by OD. We can review your OD profile, it's always nice to get a second opinion, and give advice on red-flags and dickish behaviour.

ow ow ow I just had a mouthful of yesterdays roast beef with a bit too much horseradish and it really hurts.

lies I know exactly what you mean. Zero single friends, busy job, unsociable hours, not much me time. Only met one guy soon after joining match, was very intense, lasted 3 months gradually cooling off, ended two weeks before Xmas. I was upset but ok now. Someone at work who I barely know has asked me out and I'm scared to go as fed up of disappointment. He gave me his number and I text him this evening. He asked if he could take me out to get to know me. Why am I scared? Should I go? I'm not sure what to do

I just don't trust any men at the moment. I really want to but always think there's an ulterior motive in everything.

I had dominos with extra jalapeños....super burn..

Wish I had found this thread earlier, made some serious errors of judgments but better to regret what you've done and learn lessons than regret what you haven't.

Been a bit burned so no profiles at the moment and been seeing a couple of guys who like to let me down at the last minute and have things on their terms...I feel a new year, new start coming on!

Santa....go. Have been hurt myself recently but nothing ventured nothing gained and you have to believe it will be worth it in the end....

lies I guess I should take a chance. I just hate the way my mind works, or was it the way the men were that caused my mind to work that way?

Anyway I think I will go. I did say when he asked that yes it would be nice to go out sometime, but we haven't made a definate arrangement yet, which already I'm thinking is a bit odd. Although we will see eachother Monday at work

Santa, he's met you, he likes you and he's asked you out.

That has to be a good start. There are no guarantees but you might just have a really nice time and it may just lead somewhere else. If it doesn't you've not lost anything. We've all met our fair share of knobbers but we shouldn't allow what has happened in the past stop us enjoying the future...which may well be knobber free!

I ended it yesterday with a guy I have been seeing for about three months. It hurt like hell...he was the first guy I went on more than one date with, the first guy I had dtd with in a long time.....

I have known pretty much from the start it was going nowhere but kept clinging on to that little bit of hope that something might change. He cancelled on average every other date, went from being all attentive and sending lovely texts to ignoring me for days and then disappearing midway through text conversations; didn't want me to go to him, always had to come here. I thought it was me, that I didn't "understand" the world of OD, that perhaps I was coming off cool somehow. Then he asked to come and stay the night and meet my kids...must have been me reading him all wrong - right? I thought about it long and hard and knew that I was in that place and even the biggest of dicks wouldn't want to meet your kids if they weren't interested, so I agreed. Haven't seen him since...made arrangements, cancelled at the last minute, three times. So I ended it. Now I need to stay strong!

Bant maybe I didn't explain properly ... there has been mention of a second date yes, but no talk about what to actually do on that second date, other than having drinks at the pub. This is just me thinking ahead in case I do like him. I will not be suggesting anything of course until I have met him and seen whether I like him or not and whether he seems trustworthy.

I'm sorry to hear that lies it's horrible isnt it and I will never understand why they do it. He is most definately a dick and a headfuck. His loss not yours. I saw someone for three months, he was mad about me from the word go had me on a pedastal, all until I asked why he couldn't get it up ( I put it more tactfully than that) he walked out, he did come back after a few days I let him as I thought he did it through embarrassment. It wasn't the same after but I carried on hoping it would go back to how it was at the start. He was much more distant, in the end my head was a mess wondering how he felt about me. I questioned why things had changed and what was wrong one night and he ended it a few days later vie email. I was very hurt and felt let down.

Oh and here's to a knobber free future

So how'd it go girlie? And anyone else who had hot sat night dates, rather than watching all of Death comes to Pemberley curled up with the cat and the laptop on dating sites

Feeling a bit wobbly today emotionally. It's not so easy to dust yourself off as you wish it would be sometimes eh. Rubbish messages online last night and the no-replies from people whose profiles look like good matches (similar interests, right age and area, look nice in photos, nothing dick-ish on the profile) feels a bit rubbisher than it used to, I'm also finding it difficult to summon the enthusiasm to initiate as many contacts as I should. Thinking of trying a new site, maybe have a go at OKC as MSF is very low traffic (better matches though, much higher % of what I am looking for) and POF is just like a charity shop and I'm not sure I have the energy! I'm just not feeling as confident and breezy as I did before this knock-back and not sure how to get it back.

Broken - I do understand why you have the opinion you do given what's happening with you at the moment - and hence why I posted asking whether it was even an acceptable thing to do to get back in touch. Have you asked your guy why it was that he was out of touch for a while? I don't expect to hear from Dimples, and I hope the reason his profile has disappeared is that he has found a lovely girl to try a relationship with because he deserves it. But if I was to see him again, I'd intend to be open about what happened. And I think I made the wrong decision at the time (choosing the easy, fun, for-now guy rather than the one with a much greater potential for long-term success, the idea of which I find quite scary to be honest, and coming up with silly reasons to justify it to myself) and have paid for it, basically.

Lies sorry to hear that but well done you and yes, stay strong!

Santaclaws, go, for sure!! Strike whilst the irons hot too - maybe the next message from you something like ''so when are you going to take me out then?'' and get a date sorted. How closely do you work together?

I spoke too soon. Things are going belly up with gap yah. He didn't want to spend new year with me even though I have a sitter and a few other reasons that make it easy. I spent ny alone last year with the dc because I was single. Doing it again supposedly in a relationship isn't good enough for me. I am v down about it

Santaclaws go for it.......if nothing else let us date vicariously through you.

I think my profile must me putting chaps off. Seem to be getting lots of views but no messages and no responses to last 8 messages.

Someone remind me of the rules. Very tempted to send Bachelor#1 terse text today after being dumped by silence...just because then I can justify to myself that he isn't really going to get in touch in the new year and I can get on with it.......can't deal with seeing more than one chap at a time. and although I Know logically he is not interested want it in writing.. how dumb does that make me???

Too much time on my hands not used to time off and nothing to do.

Queen what reason was given for not wanting to spend NY with you??