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Original poster

The dating thread 66

999 replies

LividofLondon · 02/12/2013 16:43

Seeing as thread 65 is now full.

Nothing to report here. I'm still in almost daily contact with MrK but due to his work was not able to meet this weekend. We're hoping to arrange something for this coming weekend, so fingers crossed. I keep reminding myself that every-other weekend is fine, but it just seems such a long wait in between Sad

Seeing as I'm trying to keep my cool and my plan was only for something casual, I'm still looking for more dates. But there's no-one I like online at the moment [sigh]

OP posts:
MasterP0 · 26/12/2013 18:29

Long time lurker....Hansel I would go out on 2nd date just to make sure! Sometimes chemistry isn't instantaneous, which everyone would have you believe! If you were totally repulsed I'd say defo not! Take a chance on LOVE!

Bant · 26/12/2013 18:30

Quite a few people on here have said chemistry kicked in on the second date. If it was coffee only on the first, then that's a good way of seeing if you find them dull without beer goggles kicking in, a glass of wine on a second date can kick start a spark a bit.

It doesn't sound terrible, interesting is more important than rip-your-clothes-off-passion anyway in the longer term

HanselandGretel · 26/12/2013 19:22

Thanks for the input peeps.
@Bant - interesting personality is what I'm looking for above looks and I didn't get that at all today, just a pleasant guy but after an hour I was ready to go home.
All in all I think I'll leave it with him, hey ho, back to OD I go.

kscience · 26/12/2013 19:38

Seen an ad on TV for eharmony free messaging until 6th Jan.

How does it rate as OD site?

kscience · 26/12/2013 20:19

Another daft question............ how far is too far...distance wise??

Am I restricting my options too much by just looking close to home or am I being realistic as I do not have lots of time for additional travel??

dontcallmehon · 26/12/2013 20:41

Geeky lives 25 miles and a 20 minute drive away- mainly motorway. That has been perfect. Don't think further away would work for me tbh. Although some do make it work, it makes life more complicated. I'm lucky enough to live near a big city though, I guess if you live more remotely than it's better to look further afield.

dontcallmehon · 26/12/2013 20:43

Sorry - other way round! 20 miles and a 25 minute drive...

ALittleStranger · 26/12/2013 20:44

Broken I echo all the others. I'm not going to claim to remember every detail of your dating history, but there is a clear pattern emerging from your posts. Please stop letting him keep you dangling like this. He's doing the classic thing of trying to keep his options open. When it's right all this bullshit will disappear.

HanselandGretel · 26/12/2013 20:45

Anything beyond about 25 minutes would be a bit too far for me, preferably nearer...but, if the right one should live further away then who knows!!

MasterP0 · 26/12/2013 20:55

Well distance depends on your individual lifestyle, I'd be willing to travel max 50miles as I don't have any child care issues and I'm self employed. I dated a guy who lived in Dublin for 18months, we saw each other every two weeks, I live in Brum, flights to/from Dub were frequent and cheap, but I'd have a problem dating someone from London, crazy eh?!?!??

MasterP0 · 26/12/2013 21:00

Oh btw Kscience, I've used eHarmony, thought I'd meet a different calibre of men on there, I filled in the horrendously long questionnaire, seriously the only thing they don't ask me for is a urine sample!!!!!! Also I thought any man on eHarmony who fills in the questionnaire AND pays the expensive membership MUST BE serious about finding love.......WRONG!!!!!

HanselandGretel · 26/12/2013 21:38

@MasterPO - That's really interesting, eHarmony really sells itself as a high end dating site, I was tempted to join but what held me back was having joined paying sites in the past found they have their fair share of timewasters etc, and I'm just not in a position to spend out a monthly subscription again only to have to work my way through all that again.

MasterP0 · 26/12/2013 21:55

I think I've spent close to £300 on dating websites (who can put a price on Love lol).

I was frustrated with eHarmony as it was the most expensive membership and I didn't get a return on my investment. I went on one date from there, great date, but he had issues so we decided not to pursue things. Spoke to a few men who seemed "scared"/unsure if they wanted to date, maybe it's just me, who the feck knows?!?!? One guy messages me the day he was leaving for Vegas, continued to chat whilst he was in Vegas, agreed to go on date Saturday after returning Fri, never heard from him.

Also eHarmony matches you to someone based on the questionnaire, so it's completely out of your hands, you don't get to see anyone that was matched to you, am I making sense? I also found that the men I was being matched to lived 1000 miles away!

Match Affinty also filled with time wasters/men to cheap to pay subscription, seriously DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY!

Match and POF have generated more dates for me.......and I'm still single lol!!

MasterP0 · 26/12/2013 21:56

wasn't

HanselandGretel · 26/12/2013 21:59

You don't get to see anyone that was matched to you? how does that work??

Rather than join EHarmony, I may just buy some shares in it instead...win win Wink

HanselandGretel · 26/12/2013 22:00

Ah, I see. That's crazy, really, that would really frustrate me no end.

MasterP0 · 26/12/2013 22:06

Typo, meant WASN'T, sorry!

But hey, MatchAffinity worked for my beautician, she's just celebrated 1 year anniversary! She's the reason I tried it out. Went on a date with one guy, then 2nd date, kissed, made arrangements for 3rd date for Fri night, he texts Fri morning to say can't go as he met another woman night before and he feels she's a better match! Knocked my ego/confidence.......fast forward 9 months later (last Fri) he contacts me to ask me out on a date, WTF?!?!?!? I said no thanks, FUCKTARD!

HanselandGretel · 26/12/2013 22:15

Ha! well done. Fair enough he was honest at the time but to think it was ok to come a knocking months later is quite insulting.

MasterP0 · 26/12/2013 22:54

It is, did he think I've been sitting at home twiddling my thumbs waiting for him to contact me, he clearly thinks to highly of himself!

dontcallmehon · 26/12/2013 23:17

I found success on pof, so I'd advocate the free sites. You just have to sift through the rubbish.

brokenhearted55a · 26/12/2013 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MasterP0 · 26/12/2013 23:58

Broken that's very true about the inactive profiles on eHarmony!

All in all I've had more "success" from POF, but as Don't says there's a lot of sifting going on.

I'm now bored with going on all Of these endless dates, but how else do I find what I'm looking for? SIGH

melanie58 · 27/12/2013 00:09

I know a girl at work who is marrying someone she met through eharmony, and another man in the same team has also just got engaged to someone he met on OD (I don't know which site), so take heart, it can happen. Personally, I don't think I'm brave enough - can't bear the thought of my photo being up there - so am going to be happily single unless I meet someone irresistible in RL. I think I probably have a better chance that way anyway, as I only want someone who shares my interests, so if I am out doing those interests I may meet a like-minded man. But I'm not holding my breath.

HotCrossBunsForAll · 27/12/2013 05:26

Hansel I think you should go on the second date & give yourself a chance. You need time to get to know someone, it's not always bells and whistles and instant chemistry. You said he was a nice guy, I think maybe it's worth a second meeting to see how you feel after that.

I've been using OD for a while, mainly pof but more recently Tinder as well. I really like it - have met some nice people, and you can only message with people you have mutually matched with, which is a bonus!!

dontcallmehon · 27/12/2013 07:11

I couldn't work out how to take down my match profile (my subscription runs out in February), as geeky and I are now 'official.' so I edited my profile to say that I'm not single and not looking. Popped on to take down my pictures and lo and behold, the number of messages I have received has increased dramatically! Men are strange!