The dating thread 66

[LividofLondon]

Seeing as thread 65 is now full.

Nothing to report here. I'm still in almost daily contact with MrK but due to his work was not able to meet this weekend. We're hoping to arrange something for this coming weekend, so fingers crossed. I keep reminding myself that every-other weekend is fine, but it just seems such a long wait in between

Seeing as I'm trying to keep my cool and my plan was only for something casual, I'm still looking for more dates. But there's no-one I like online at the moment [sigh]

FolkGirl I'm with Kitti - I think it's not a big deal at all now but it could seem odd as a longer-term thing if things with New Man go well. Most people have a bedroom of their own, as adults. Even if you don't sleep in there regularly it would be nice to have a space to snuggle in with someone.

Certainly now, on a blow-up bed in the living room with the Christmas Tree lights twinkling sounds lovely, and very romantic! But I think your New Years Resolution should be to recapture your bedroom as your boudoir

You're right Sidge. I've just been putting it off until now because it didn't seem necessary and felt like an effort too far.

But it doesn't anymore.

Ooh goody. I do like an excuse to decorate!!

Folk Girl - First thing I did once DH and I separated was to redecorate the bedroom and claim it as my own! I couldn't afford new furniture but I bought new curtains, bed covers, cushions galore, fairy lights and painted the walls pink - I love my bedroom now, it's my favourite room of the house! It didn't cost a fortune, lots of ebay purchases. Good luck this weekend though, sounds exciting!

Has anyone tried Tinder? I'd never heard of it before but a friend just mentioned it to me - worth a punt once I'm off the sofa or not?

I know, super, it was going to be the first thing I did too, but it ended up being the room where his stuff was stashed (as well as the loft and the garage...)

I'm not quite sure what I want it to look like either.

Besides, no one else ever goes in there. It seemed a bit extravagant to redecorate a room only I would see. But it would be nice...

Oh and thanks for the 'good luck' wishes. :)

You have to Folk, for your own self worth. You ARE special enough to have a space of your very own! And I agree with the pink stuff and twinkly lights! Also you can buy paint and bedding (100% cotton!!) in wilkos really cheaply and it's lovely :)

And Jarlin, yep, I used to get sick with nerves then en-route I'd be all panicky and 'whatamidoing??!!!' But once you've met the hours will fly by! Promise!

Hello all, just checking in.

'You are the prize' incidentally, was a response to the number of people on here who were saying that they were anxious, feeling like they had to make a good impression, be more pretty, funny, witty etc, in order to impress a guy. They would sometimes say they were putting up with a lot of shit from men they were meeting, because they felt that was their lot in life.

A lot of people who've gone through separation or divorce in the past have had their confidence severely bruised, either by the split or the behaviour of their partner, or both, and they just want to find someone - anyone- who will put up with them.

That, of course, is bollocks. Of course it's true that some women have issues, some aren't as young or as thin as they used to be, and they've lost confidence because of those things. But one of the things a good man finds most attractive in a woman is confidence. And that's one of the things that also puts bad men off. Be confident in yourself and you'll be more successful, you'll weed out the bad'uns and have more chance of meeting a good'un.

That's why you're the prize.

(Incidentally, I'm also the prize even though I'm a bloke because I'm lovely)

You do sound very lovely Bant

Well, the bedframe is dismantled and is now awaiting collection.

Stupid I hadn't thought about it like that, but yes, you're right. Well I've decided on white/preferably broderie anglaise bedding with dusky pink throws. And maybe some unnecessary cushions. Nice romantic lighting. It's going to be lovely :)

And today I have made a start. Excellent.

FolkGirl well done!!! And have a fabulous weekend. I am very jealous

Folk I'm excited for you! Honestly, as soon as I redecorated my bedroom I couldn't wait to bring someone home to show it off to!! You absolutely deserve a beautiful bedroom and lots of unnecessary cushions. Even better when there is no one to complain about how unnecessary they are!

Bant Wise words. And of course you're the prize - I think you're an honorary member of the 'sisterhood' Are you still on the sofa?

Folk you don't hang about then!! Well done!

Like others when exH moved out I reclaimed our/my bedroom. Couldn't redecorate (rented) and couldn't afford new furniture but bought a memory foam mattress topper, new bedding, new lamps, cushions, lightshade and some scented candles (very romantic and sexy when new man gets to spend a night in there!).

Bant I'm really enjoying hearing a man's perspective. You sound ace, how can you be single?

Folkgirl Do you need to issue some sort of ultimatum to XP about shifting his stuff?

Pops on amateur counsellor hat and leans head to one side I imagine the bedroom doesn't represent particularly happy times for you.

Seems I'm on for date with biker boy tomorrow after all. Will try to muster some enthusiasm

Folk good start. Have you tried freecycle?? I have had some fabulous stuff including sofa bed (M&S no less). Actually on the subject of bedrooms, I would kill for a bedroom. In a studio flat and TBH a bit embarrassed by it, could not imagine inviting anyone back for a snuggle in front of TV and then all the palaver of getting it out.....the sofa bed that is . Am I being ridiculous???

Thanks for posting the rules

Bant pleased we have the male perspective well represented

I have date number 4 lined up for tomorrow. Going to house of batchelor#1 for dinner .... me out on a school night...unheard of.

That is so true bant I've found that when I'm confident, and loving being single and just being me, that's when I get the interest.

Interestingly ladies I've just finished decorating my bedroom this week, reclaimed the bedroom, I'm so pleased with it, it didn't cost a lot, think Ikea, and matalan.
The hardest bit was choosing the sodding colour

I smile every time I walk in my room now.

Hi all, quick update before I go to bed! Date 4 went very well, we seem to chat loads and quite a bit of banter. I paid for dinner as was feeling weird that he had paid for everything so far.

So all is good, plus quite a decent snog at the end of the night which is always nice

I just think that I'd started to lose my way a little bit. I knew that I needed to reclaim my bedroom but I just hadn't done it.

Posting on here about it kick started my motivation so I don't even need it to be my new years resolution, by new year it will be pretty much done, if not finished. It's now my project for the christmas holidays :)

Folkgirl, candles and a matress sound romantic and funny! If all goes well im sure you'll find a whole new motivation to regain your bedroom! KittiKat has some good advice-it wont cost much. (i had a squeaky pine bed that lasted 2 husbands and 22 years, one night with Yumster and i went straight out and bought a new one from B&Ms, i have a sudden urge to plant things and generally spruce the place up!) Im sure you'll be the same.

Hi Brokenhearted, we have a distance of 40 miles and busy schedules. We meet at least once but hopefully twice a week-a lot more than either of us expected (yipee!!), it takes effort sometimes i.e having to get up at 6a.m to drive to work, once i was so determined to see yumster, i suggested he drive me to his and i bike back home the next day! (he was suitably impressed which meant i couldnt then back out lol). We use WhatsApp, its free and sending pictures is free-not all 'those' sort of pics! more what we're having for tea, how red i am after a run etc-probably sounds mundane but it helps us both feel included in each others lives)

Broken, distance of 60 miles with me and soon to be Mr Stupid for two years then we moved in together. We'd meet at least every fortnight for a weekend (sometimes weekly) and would take odd days here and there to make long weekends, or weeks together. It was hard as I hated the goodbyes, and we'd be on FaceTime every night. He's also pretty spontaneous so would randomly turn up which was lovely! Oh and when he got flu but went to work I got the train over and left lemsips and juice (he gave me a key) then went home. During our brief split he remembered that - I'd totally forgotten! So it's possible but it does hurt when you can't just 'pop in'. And we also had an end plan of us moving in together so we'd look forward to that, that was after about 6 months I think. I do stills get flutters of panic if we drive past the train station I'd go home on after one of our weekends!

Awwww that's lovely Stupid, esp the lemsips! What a fab gf you are

I'm lucky in that Tallguy lives about 3 mile from mine but neither of us have a car and both live with our kids so prob will only see each other weekends.

Everything going well, constant texting and very flirtatious too. Soooo looking forward to Friday

Aww Hormonal! 3 miles is nothing! Roll on better weather and you'll be able to walk it, details for Friday! :)

Sounds like all is going well, hormonal. Glad you had a good date, girlie. I agree you'd feel so much better having a lovely room of your own, folkgirl.

I let geeky see some of my insecurities last night. We're getting closer and so I feel very out of control and vulnerable. There was a moment when we were watching tv and the comedian said 'if you're in love, it won't last.' we looked at each other and laughed and geeky sarcastically thanked the comedian in question.

I talked to him about poetry and he counted to me in binary...

Then I sang him a song I'd been looking for and couldn't find. He had to drive home at 1.30 am, as he had a crazy day with work starting v early in the morning. At 2 am he sent me a text with the song I'd been looking for...

Ahh... That's lovely dontcallmehon.

I have had a text today and Cider Man is going to call me tomorrow so we can fix up a date/time to see each other again next week.

Sounds lovely Dontcall, how long have you been dating now?

Kittikat are you looking forward to date 2?

It's my second date with Tallguy tomoz but feels like I've known him ages. We have very intense conversations and text a lot although saying that I've not heard from him today ha ha. I'm not worried just missing him

Sounds good kittikat - dates on the horizon are exciting!

don't know what to so with myself. I have to wait till early next week to see geeky again. I'm in a constant state of heightened anxiety.
I told him yesterday 'it's all just chemicals you know.' I need to try not to think about him so much.