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Original poster

The git is refusing to move in with his friend...

835 replies

Lemmingswife · 15/07/2006 09:06

Until we exchange contracts on our house!
I am SO angry & upset. This could take months & months.
I asked him last night if he was intending to make the move sometime next week, seen as his friend returns late on Sunday. He said "I'm not moving in with him....well not until the house has been sold & we have exchanged contracts."
He told me that he was prepared to make the move, until a friend (who he won't name) pointed out how ridiculous it would be to look after the children in the house if I ever went out & he said that it wouldn't be right to take them to his friends house.
He said that HE pays the mortgage & the TV licence and had every right to stay as long as he needed to, but he wants out too, which is why the quicker this house sells, the better.
I was so upset & furious after he came out with this last night. I cannot go on like this for what could be months, I will seriously lose it.
I would move out with the children myself, if I could.
He kept putting on a silly fake laugh, saying "Imagine me coming to this house to look after the children. How ridiculous!"
I am so cross & so upset. I cannot go through the whole of the summer like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 18/07/2006 21:46

LOL, Blu!

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Original poster
Lemmingswife · 18/07/2006 22:08

Now do I have a third glass of wine before bed or not???

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expatinscotland · 18/07/2006 22:08

have it

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 18/07/2006 22:09

Okay, you have convinced me!!

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Blu · 18/07/2006 22:11

3 is fine, LW

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 18/07/2006 22:13

3rd is poured! My wine glasses aren't the smallest though!!

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Blu · 18/07/2006 22:14

If you start asking 'shall I open a second bottle?' we might mention work tomorrow!

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 18/07/2006 22:18

And rightly so!!!

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Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 15:46

I went & lost it really badly with him this morning. I know I should try & keep calm, but he went and pushed me that inch too far & I totally lost it.
I was still angry about yesterdays happenings, when he announced this morning that he was going to maybe leave DS2 with the wife of one of his friends while he played golf!
I could not contain my anger any longer & totally lost the plot, telling him I'd had enough & there is one thing making things unpleasant for me, but that I at least expected him to be putting his own children before his friends.
At first he laughed at me, saying "You are really cross aren't you?" But eventually he realised just how out of line he was & he did not go to golf today.

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Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 15:52

Lots more was said. I just completely exploded, as I couldn't take any more. I told him just what a complete selfish arse he has been recently & how it was about time he started thinking about the affect all this was having on the children.
I lost it emotionally too & cried a lot. Had to try & pull myself together for work!

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spangles · 19/07/2006 16:19

He continues to sink to even lower depths... TOTAL ARSEHOLE. One day he will be out of your life for good

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 17:23

I told him that I am seeing a really horrible side to him now. He said "Well you were not keen on my other side - you went to see a solicitor about that side of me!"
I said "Yes I did & now you are even worse, as it is one thing going out of your way to upset me, but I at least expected you to think a little more about your children in all this"

I was just SO furious when he said he may have to go & play golf, because his friend may have booked it & paid for it. I asked him why the hell he agreed to a game of golf on a day he knew he was meant to be looking after his little boy. I said that I was sick to death of his selfish behaviour & there is no way that I would leave my children with any Tom, Dick or Harry, just so that I could go & do whatever I pleased with my friends.
I also said that I was shocked by his gambling & how he could just throw away hunderds of £'s. He said again "You can't tell me what I can & can't do with my money"
I ended up crying & crying because I had just lost the plot, and eventually he said that maybe I was right & he would not go to golf.

We have viewers coming to look at the house in a bit.

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Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 17:41

I could do without these viewers

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Expectantmum · 19/07/2006 17:46

Hiyya LM, sorry to hear you have been upset today, the guy just seems to sink to lower and lower depths!! You must have struck a chord with him though for him to at least admit that you might have a point.

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 17:56

I got through in the end, EM, but it took a lot. I was so very angry though.

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Expectantmum · 19/07/2006 17:58

Just make sure you keep a record of it, he certainly seems to be digging a very big hole for himself

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 18:03

I am going to keep a record, as his behaviour has been hideous recently. I told him that much as he was clearly loving playing the single guy with all his boyfriends, he was to try & remember that he had children, so should try & act a little more responsible.
I ended up in a right emotional state, but I think this is because it has been brewing up inside me for a while & him pushing it this morning was just too much & I exploded!

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Expectantmum · 19/07/2006 18:07

Sounds like you need a nice glass of wine . Have one for me!!

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 18:10

I need wine alright!!! Will have a glass for you, EM! Any excuse for another!!

H is actually bathing the boys atm.

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Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 18:26

See, I was right when I said I was going to lose the plot soon, as it happened today!

I will go seriously mental if this continues for many more months!

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Blu · 19/07/2006 18:27

WOW! You go, LW!
It sounds as if exploding was an excellent thing to do, actually!

What a git. I'm so pleased you didn't back down, and toughed it out through him laughing at you - weasly manipulative vicious little sod that he is!

And how outrageous that he thinks that 'the wife' of any of his mates should just be expected to take his kids so that he can play golf! it tells A LOT about his attitude to women, if you ask me.

Sounds like you made some progress, scaring him a bit - well done!

AND you made him change his mind. GOOD!

Freckle · 19/07/2006 18:29

Have you threatened to pull the house off the market yet? He has broken his side of the bargain, which was to move out if you agreed to sell the house, so there's no reason why you should keep your side.

It makes no odds whether the house is on the market now or not. You will not agree to the sale until you have specific legal advice re the distribution of any funds and he will not move out until it's sold.

So just call the agents and tell them that they are no longer marketing your house.

Blu · 19/07/2006 18:33

I was thinking that Freckle.
You can tell the agents to hold on - keep all their material etc. It might be better than disrupting keen buyers and the estate agent if you DO get an offer, but the sale has to wait.

And just tell H that he didn't keep his agreement, so the viewers stop.

Apart from anything else, the stress of viewers when the boys are in the house all day must be considerable.

Blu · 19/07/2006 18:34

And if he threatens not to pay mortgage, explode again at being prepared to make his kids homeless - and call the mortgage co and explain.

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 19/07/2006 19:06

Could I pull the house off the market without his permission?

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