The git is refusing to move in with his friend...

[Lemmingswife]

Until we exchange contracts on our house!
I am SO angry & upset. This could take months & months.
I asked him last night if he was intending to make the move sometime next week, seen as his friend returns late on Sunday. He said "I'm not moving in with him....well not until the house has been sold & we have exchanged contracts."
He told me that he was prepared to make the move, until a friend (who he won't name) pointed out how ridiculous it would be to look after the children in the house if I ever went out & he said that it wouldn't be right to take them to his friends house.
He said that HE pays the mortgage & the TV licence and had every right to stay as long as he needed to, but he wants out too, which is why the quicker this house sells, the better.
I was so upset & furious after he came out with this last night. I cannot go on like this for what could be months, I will seriously lose it.
I would move out with the children myself, if I could.
He kept putting on a silly fake laugh, saying "Imagine me coming to this house to look after the children. How ridiculous!"
I am so cross & so upset. I cannot go through the whole of the summer like this.

It is so horribly hard, DVX, as the side of him that wasn't nasty could be quite protective of me.
I am really hating all of this & I am scared of the months ahead.

He wont be gone for goodness knows how long & all the time he is here I still worry about things that might make him cross, even though I shouldn't.
The fact he will not move out until the house is sold is really starting to get to me, as it will suddenly go from him being here to pretty much the divorce.
I feel very worried & scared.

Your solicitor will help lw honestly! You will not have to go through this alone either you have all of us just as I did!

I know that I will have you lot & am so grateful of the support. I am sorry for my weak wobbly moments!

Silly things are getting to me atm. I am missing the few things that we did as a family & feeling very alone at times.

I am not weakening, but do get these moments of upset at times.
People around me think I am coping well, but in reality I am falling to pieces.

DOnt be sorry LW and weak moments are going to happen they are not necessarily bad just show you are human!

Oh dear, what a pathetic moment I was having last night!
Sometimes it all gets on top of me & last night was one of those nights.
I am feeling such a weird mix of emotions atm. I feel anger towards H, I feel sad about losing the good parts of him, I feel lonely, I feel scared, I feel sad for my boys, I feel a failure & I feel all messed up in my head by having him here but not IYKWIM?
Seeing families together doing together things upsets me, even seeing my own sister & BIL so together & talking about possible holidays upsets me. Seeing the boys all over their Daddy & asking for him when he is not in the house, upsets me. Sitting in this damn kitchen to escape sitting looking at H in the lounge is driving me insane.
A lot of the time I seem to cope ok, but sometimes the whole horrible reality of this hits me & weekends seem to be the prime time for this to happen.
Sorry to be such a misery atm, I will get through it.

As I said lw this is bound to happen and is part of the natural grieving process however much of a b**rd your H has been you have loved him, had kids wiht him and built a home with him, breaking all that up is going to hurt like hell. It is only a few days now until you see the new solicitor and maybe it will feel better when you can plan.

Not being able to plan is hellish and at times like these with emotions all over the place very difficult. Dont beat yourself up and there is no need to apologise!

Hopefully LW, come wednesday when you have seen yr solicitor you will be able to start a new thread called " The git is moving out at weekend whether he wants to or not" (my solicitor says he has to)

That would be a bonus, but I wont hold my breath!

Hope today has been ok for you, I see you ahve been on the "song titles" thread

I often post on the song titles thread for a bit of distraction!
I have felt really churned up & emotional today and I am not really 100% sure of the cause.
He has been in the house all day, but I have kept as much distance as possible & he hasn't done or said anything to upset me. I am just feeling yukky.
Walked into town twice, just to get out & have been at the fair for the last hour with DS2.
H is off out tonight, so I will be alone.

HI LW hope you are ok! I am thinking of you! Am struggling myself today with lots going on at least my X is no longer here though so that is a bonus!

Sorry to hear you are struggling today, DVX. I am thinking of you too.x

Hey LW... Hope you are not feeling too low today. Thinking of you.

Also... Have you spoken to GF? Is she ok? I noticed the thread has gone....

I am feeling horrendous tonight, I am afraid. I don't know what's the matter with me atm.

I have spoken to GF. She is having quite a tough time, but is an amazingly strong lady.

So sorry to hear that LW... I am praying for things to get easier for you.

Thanks, Xavielli.
I have been terrible today for some reason. I was pacing the room for most of the morning, so needed to get out of the house & walk - hence visits into town when I didn't really need to buy anything! I even started welling up in a card shop!!
I have been very tearful on & off all of today.
H has gone out now to some wedding reception & was wearing a shirt that I bought him, which set me off again!
I am not coping very well at all anymore.

It should be getting easier with time, not harder.

Oh Lw hun its getting harder because he is still there and there seems to be no progress. I am sure that after speaking to your solicitor you will feel better!

I think you are right, DVX. I can't bear it much longer, I really can't. I feel like I am cracking up.

Only a few more days to go and you need ot be really firm with this solicitor and say you want H out now or even yesterday!

Sometimes action is what is needed and starting to think about what sort of a life you really want and where! It will happen you just need to hold on.

I havent been sleeping well recently so have just taken a herbal tablet and will try them out tonight! If they are really good may try them during the day as well! Perhaps anaesthetic is the way to go!

I am not sleeping well atm either, DVX. Let me know if the tablets do the trick & I may get some.
Have not drunk much alcohol tonight, which is good going for me atm, as I have been relying on it to numb me a bit of an evening. It doesn't really make you feel any better though.
Anaesthetic sounds good to me!
Take care of yourself & I hope you sleep well.x

How are you today? Hope you slept well. Tablets were rubbish as my youngest had tummy ache and woke at 4am and my eldest wanted a chat!!! There are no instructions on the packets for such events and I am not sure I believe that a mixture of hops and valerian is going to work in any case!