The git is refusing to move in with his friend...

[Lemmingswife]

Until we exchange contracts on our house!
I am SO angry & upset. This could take months & months.
I asked him last night if he was intending to make the move sometime next week, seen as his friend returns late on Sunday. He said "I'm not moving in with him....well not until the house has been sold & we have exchanged contracts."
He told me that he was prepared to make the move, until a friend (who he won't name) pointed out how ridiculous it would be to look after the children in the house if I ever went out & he said that it wouldn't be right to take them to his friends house.
He said that HE pays the mortgage & the TV licence and had every right to stay as long as he needed to, but he wants out too, which is why the quicker this house sells, the better.
I was so upset & furious after he came out with this last night. I cannot go on like this for what could be months, I will seriously lose it.
I would move out with the children myself, if I could.
He kept putting on a silly fake laugh, saying "Imagine me coming to this house to look after the children. How ridiculous!"
I am so cross & so upset. I cannot go through the whole of the summer like this.

Is your Dad aware of the intervention that was due to worries about DS1's behaviour? Honestly, LW, I think that was a pretty clear indication that what you are doing is right...any chance that your dad would understand if you wrote to him and described the intervention and some of the things that led up to it? I know that your dad will never expect YOUR happiness to be anything to consider but he might understand just a teeny bit more if he knew some of the things he doesn't know.

And whatever he may or may not think, we all know that your happiness is crucial to the boys lives. Your mental and physical health was at risk at some stages over the past year!!

This stage is so horrible. I thnk you are doing absolutley the right thing, seeing as many freinds as possible, and setting up as many distractions as you can. And try not to feel bad about feeling bad, iyswim. You don't have to be strong and calm atm, you are dealing with hell, no one expects you to be super-cool woman in perfect control and putting a brave face on it. It's ok to be upset, very upset, and to keep talking about that.

((soppy hugs))

My Dad would probably be angry with me for involving my HV, Blu, & think that they had all influenced me. I don't think he would find any of it that shocking, as he wasn't the model father himself & would come out with the "This is all nonsence" line.
I will just try & keep my distance as much as possible for the moment.

Glad I am getting out in a bit, but I resemble the She Devil, as I have blimmin hay fever! Never normally get it, but I seem to have it now. Superb!

Bitter LOL. Yes, I can see you're right, and anyway, you have more things on your plate than fruitlessly chasing your dad. He's going to have stew in his own juice.

He has just nipped round with a pump to pump up the boys paddling pool!!!
He didn't mention anything. He will never approve of what I am doing & I think he feels I have failed in some way, but so long as I don't talk about it with him, he cannot upset me with his views.
He's pumped the paddling pool anyway!!

Top appraoch to the problem, LW.
Hope the boys enjoy thier paddle, and ds2 manages to avoid his Jaques Cousteau impression!

He won't go in the blimmin thing! I thought he would like it because it is a Thomas one, but he just hugs the face on it & refuses to go in the water!!
DS1 has been in there for most of the morning though!

Hope you had a good day LW. I did and got some good work done so am feeling fine now.

LOL at ds2! Funny child!

He's a funny child alright, Blu!

DVX, I am so pleased to hear you are feeling better.

I have just got back from taking the boys to the carnival & am now in my place downstairs, trying to avoid H in the lounge!

DS1 seemed to enjoy it, but DS2 found it too loud & he was over tired & stroppy, so brought him home to bed!

Are your boys not sleeping well in the heat, dino?
Mine seem to be up at the crack of dawn atm.

My hay fever seems a little better today & my eyes are looking a little more normal!

It's a nightmare isn't it?
Have you tried putting a fan in their rooms?

Hi LW how are you?

Hope yr ok LW.

Good morning!
I am feeling kind of ok atm thanks. H is at work until 8pm & DS2 has gone to nursery, so I have a semi peaceful morning!

Hope you are ok, DVX.

Sorry to hear you weren't feeling too good last night, dino. You were probably over exhausted from all your early mornings with the boys!
Glad you are feeling a bit brighter today.

I am ok thanks lw will email you!

Glad to hear it, DVX! Will look out for your email.

Got your mail, DVX, and have mailed you back.

I have had a very up & down day again today. There were points where I was fine & other points when reality hit & I found myself getting upset.
He is home from work now & I have just put DS2 to bed and as I was taking him up, he shouted "Daddy, Daddy, save me!"
He likes to lay with H before bedtime.

You will be so much better off when he has gone lw and I expect he will continue to behave like a plonker for a long time afterwards as well. It is amazing what some men will do and it is amazing how some will behave! I have to say though there are still lovely ones out there who cherish you and look after you and love you as you deserve to be loved but sometimes it doesnt quite make up for the fact that this man said he would take care of you and love you and that in reality that has meant abuse and use you!