I still haven't moved out, do I take everything? Part 2

[FarOverTheRainbow]

This is a follow on from the first thread I done in AIBU here's the link

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1867926-WIBU-to-move-out-and-take-everything

I can't thank everyone enough for all the help and support you've given me. It's been invaluable and you lovely people have helped get me out of a really dark place and are still doing so. When I read the start of my old thread and think about how I felt 8 weeks ago I never thought I'd be where I am now and even though I still have a long long way to go I wouldn't be half way here if it wasn't for the support here very soppy but so true

I hope I don't lose anyone moving to here

Expect it, dig deep, get to bed yourself early and know that it will get better as she settles.

You didn't lose your house. It wasn't ever yours. It was your home, but the next time will be the home that won't get taken from you.

That relationship was never going to succeed. You did all you could, but he broke it.

You will move on, you will get stronger, and you will find happiness.

Ah I just want to say that those of us who have been through shit know how you feel. No one, none of us, can actually do much but cheer you on.

Keep going. You have been amazingly strong, so much strong than I was, so I am very impressed :)

While there will be many memories attached to that house there are more happy memories to come in your new home. A home that is secure and where you are not blackmailed into giving your possessions.

You will find your dd will settle quicker than you thought and one night soon you'll look at her and realize she's much calmer, happier and relaxed.

It's been a really hard day for you. I'm glad it went as well as it could.

Thank you for all the support

I feel okay this morning, started closing all my accounts related to the house and changing address and I think I'm going to go to Royal Mail and get a divert on anything that does go there in my name to make sure i don't miss anything

I'm hoping to sort a new phone out today aswell fingers crossed

Just trying to unpack and sort some of the mess out here and get organized. Haven't heard anything about the house yet even though he's texted about DD asking if I've stopped BF yet

Well done for getting out. re Royal Mail diverts, you might want to check how this works as I think RM send a letter to the old address detailing the divert you have set up, and possibly (not 100% sure) the new forwarding address? Can anyone clarify?

I'm glad you got out without any more drama.

The BF text is just crazy. Does he think that you will just hand her over for as long as he wants once you stop BFing? I hope you manage to get more sorted with limiting his access to you.

lol he makes his tactics transparent re the BF question. He is one stupid dude eh.

Glad you're out and enjoying some peace Far. Brilliant

gingerpig last time I did the Royal Mail forwarding service there was an option on the form to tell them whether you wanted the letter to the old address to show your new address or not. So Far be sure to select that you don't!

Whether your baby is BF or not, she won't be going over there unsupervised.

get that phone sorted asap

He's such a complete idiot. That new phone can't come too soon, hey. Non-stop harassment.

Hope WA have good news for you on the refuge front - you could do with some sanctuary and professional support, and so could your dd.

I imagine Far will be using her mum's address as the fowarding one, so it won't tell him anything even if RM do cock up.

It seems like my car has attracted some attention and I now have a smashed back light and big huge debt which looks like its been out there by a bat

Wow, he really is a prize idiot. He has no idea how to go about getting what he wants does he? If the police can't see this as harrasment, then what will they? What did the Police say?

Report the damage to your car, he really is shooting himself in the foot! Idiot.

Far can you check for cctv where it was parked? if you need to get evidence it was him. Would be a big boost to your case if you can.

If there's CCTV anywhere near it was parked, then if he's caught on it in the time frame concerned, with a bat, he's screwed. Definitely get the police involved now.

Helpful in a way, that he is such a prize idiot - but please, please call Women's Aid. You really do need that refuge place, my love. He's very pissed off and you need to be somewhere he can't hassle you, I think.

If you are in Oxfordshire PM me. My brother is a mechanic and he says he will fix the damage for parts cost only, to save you going through your insurance.

But make sure the police see the damage and photograph it.

What a nasty wanker. You are well rid.

Not useful I know but (hugs)

This police women was more helpful and logged it all and asked how his behavior made me feel and if there's been anymore texts since I last reported it and said he does sound very aggressive and she's passed my details on to the local police for someone to hopefully come out tonight and look at it

Thats good. It's annoying and inconvenient and threatening, but hopefully this one act of stupidity on his part will help you keep him away from you permanently in the long run. Was your car parked outside your Mum's?

Yeh it was outside my mums. Spoke to WA and im going tomorrow and have tonight to sort everything with the police and pack some things

That's it now then. Destruction of property. Bingo!

Don't ever hand your dd over to him again, get an injunction and if you ever get the opportunity to press charges on him for anything, go for it.

This man and his family are truly evil, and you need to protect yourself and your dd.

NOW does your DM see what you're dealing with? Or is she still making excuses for abusive behaviour?

Don't ever let anyone do that, you hear? Not the police, not your dm, not anyone.

What he's done and doing is abuse, and it's unacceptable.

de-lurking to say you are so brave, and to wish you the very best. I know its not over, but I'm so relived for you that you are getting out.

But unless he admits it or there's CCTV there's no proof he's done it? (Bear in mind my legal training is a few episodes of Judge Judy).

I do believe its him or one of his friends. I'm just a bit cautious.

Did you ring WA for a refuge Far? From an outsiders perspective a refuge is a safe haven temporarily for you and dd. Although I realize we don't know your specific details.

Keep going, your ex is making a complete mess of things.

My mum completely agrees now and thinks k should go to a refuge if its going to help me and DD in court.

The police have phoned and are coming tomorrow and they said its very suspicious that he threatens to smash my car then a few weeks later this happens.

I'm worried about going now, I don't know where, what it will be like, people there but I know it's for the best. How much stuff do I take? An I allowed to go out in the day? The unknown isn't nice and it feels like my whole life is like that at the minute