SOS my dh wants to abort our child I'm 25 weeks

[Onmyown3]

Please help me, I'm at the end of my tether.
I have 2 children and I'm 25 weeks pregnant, I have been with my husband since I was 15 years old. We have a nice life, not wealthy but comfortable. I do everything in our relationship and everything for our children. I have recently become the breadwinner and hold a high position in a well known company im often all round the uk, yet I do all the school runs, meals, ironing, house work, homework, cleaning, shopping etc.

For The first time in 6 months I've asked my husband to collect our children from after school tomorrow as I am in a long meeting in London all day (I asked him 2 months ago to do this)

He has come home tonight and said he has had to have a hectic day at work today because of having to do me the favour of picking the kids up tomoro (he doesn't have to pick then up until 6.30!)

I asked him why he felt like that and that the children were both of our responsibilty so why should it always be up to me? He said he's had his position in his company longer than I have (this is incorrect he has a zero hour contract for a building firm that he's worked at for 6 months, although he trained to do his trade since he was 18 where as I've been with my company for 6 years but only in this new position 7months)

He said that he's decided I will have to collect the children tomorrow - he isn't doing it, the children aren't his problem!!?!

I got really cross and said how dare he, he helped to create them, he wanted them, we are a family what is wrong with him?! I asked if he was saying that I'm basically alone then and we are havin another child?! Should i just be on my own?

He said "you can get rid of it then, I don't care anymore" and stormed out.

I would NOT ever abort my baby - but this is not the first issue like this we've had. I don't know how to make him realise - he seriously thinks a man works and a woman should work, look after the children and the house - normally I do mange to do this.

I honestly can't give anymore to my family than I do. I dont work from choice but to provide and my hubby loves reaping the rewards of my job - driving my flashy Company car, gifts, outings, the comfortable home etc.

I don't ever even mention about my earnings but since I've got this position its changed his attitude. He doesn't want to work with me - it's like he resents me for it. Whys he like this? I've tried talking to him until I'm blue in the face, he says one thing and says he will change and that he will help but does another.

I don't believe he really wants me to get rid our child, I think it's anger but how can he even think this.

Should i just give up and be on my own?

Every time I have an important meeting or it's a big occasion he seems to do something like this. Last year he didn't turn up to his own sons birthday party.

Please help - the more this goes in the less I feel for him.

Btw - I have no family to rely on, its just me :'( thats all my children have got. X x x x

I can empathise OP. I'm just in the middle of splitting up with my DH after years of feeling like I've been doing it on my own and for good periods been the main (or only) breadwinner.
My DH tried to justify himself by doing the laundry (and making a VERY big deal of it) and cooking occasional meals, but I have always done the Childcare, despite asking him on numerous occasions to create a better relationship with the kids and telling him that I would happily take on all his chores if he spent more time with them.
Now that we are splitting up he seems very keen to destroy what little relationship he has with the kids and is trying to make me feel guilty for this. He has stated that, once he has moved into his own house, he doesn't intend to 'force' the children to see him. I've pointed out that it is his responsibility to make them want to spend time with him (they're not even 5 yet, for god's sake!!).

Basically, you can try the shock treatment - tell him exactly how you feel and what he needs to do to address the situation - but in my experience, if he's fundamentally a flawed and selfish person (and I'm sorry to say that he does sound that way) it will make little difference!

Getting out will be hard but I feel a little of the weight lifting every day.

Hope you manage to move things on in the right way for you xxx

When he lets you down again, or when you get annoyed about the terrible ways he has already let you down and you decide you've had enough...

Make sure you have copies of paperwork that shows his income (bank statements, payslips etc) incase he is less than honest about his earnings from his zero-hours contract.

He is not a good dad. He barely looks after them or wants to be around them at all. When he does do stuff its on his terms, for himself, not for them or for you.

I know this is difficult, you have a lot on at the moment, and maybe you don't have to do anything immediately. But you don't want to be in this one sided relationship in 5 years time with three children.

He said that you should abort your(plural) baby in order to hurt you. Listen to that. My DH and I sometimes have grumbles over misunderstandings but we don't try to upset and hurt each other by saying nasty, horrific things like "get an abortion". It is a really hateful thing to say and you are right not to forgive him for it.