The dating thread 65

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

Do we get a loo update tonight super

I have been looking on match, but it seems slim pickings at the moment, I can't do pof as too many people I know and now you cant hide your profile its no good

Im feeling a bit down about it all too, and yes its harder at xmas, I have 2 work parties and a wedding all to go to on my own

Awwww yes Gaga it's a rubbish time of year to be single. I remember last year I was single and 8 months pregnant - sad times

hormonal that means your DC must be nearly a year old I'm looking forward to christmas morning actually! I can take in every minute of DS, and do what we want to do without a miserable bastard in the house

Ah there's nothing like being pregnant and single at christmas :(

Tried to do loo update but no signal!

Such a sweet guy but no chemistry :( he's just the sought of guy I should go for though - kind, clever, paid for everything. - a gent. But I only fancy nasty gits!!

Weighing up whether to give him a second chance and see if he grows on me? But is that fair on him? I'd want to keep looking in the meantime!

sort even - I'm a bit tipsy!

Agh super, shame. Can chemistry grow? I wouldn't worry too much about being fair on him.....I think youre allowed to be a little bit selfish in the early stages of dating. What sort of vibe did you get from him about how it went, how did you leave it?

Have you heard from him since the date Super? Maybe try another date as def think chemistry can grow, did you get on well? Have enough to talk about?

I am getting psyched up for date number 3, what is the feeling on here about letting him pay for everything?! So far he has paid for the drinks on date 1 (mind you I was only on the lemonade as was driving) and he paid for bowling and drinks on date 2. I'm thinking I should probably offer to pay for lunch today?

Also the plan is to drive out to a local village separately and then go together to where there is a nice walk. Now I am fairly certain he isn't a psycho but is it too soon to be getting in a car with him and letting him drive me to the middle of no where?!!

Hi daters, I am new to the thread. I've been online dating about a month now and I've had 4 dates. I apologise for not updating you all. I had some quite eye popping experiences that you would all have enjoyed too. I promise to not be remiss from now on.

Anyway I have a question - I got on really well with Date #2 but a couple of days later he emailed to say that someone from his past had come on the scene (that old chestnut) and that he didn't feel comfortable seeing both of us at the same time. I replied saying that's fine, and good luck.

So my question for you ladies is: What is a suitable period to leave before I get back in touch with him, and what would I say in order to play it super-cool?

A good result for me would just be becoming friends with him as we had quite a lot in common. But also including just the faintest chink of light for him to make another play for me and to think it was all his idea

Hi All. No dating updates from me. Nothing in the pipeline really.

Super- no harm in going on one more date. It could be a slow burn and the chemistry might sneak up on you.

Girlie- good luck on date with smallfeet. If you feel comfortable getting into car with him I'm sure it will be fine. A date once took me to a secluded enough beach and asked me to get something out of the boot. Slightly alarmed to see a hammer in the boot, but I lived to tell the tale. I would offer to pay for lunch if I was you.

Hero- bring honest if I was you I wouldn't text him again. He may be telling the truth but some guys use a bullshit excuse if they are not interested. If he contacts you great.

Hi all

myownhereo I've been reading 'He's just not that into you' and although I kinda knew it all, its really hit home to me that when a man says he doesn't want to see me for whatever reason it means he doesn't want to see me. And if he changes his mind, he can find me just as easily as I can find him. So I'd say don't contact him, that would be super-cool.

As for me, I've been OD a few months - lots of first dates, no one remotely suitable. Have a few possibles lined up for next couple of weeks - will see how it goes

What they said re contacting him, I would leave it and assume he won't get in touch, if he does great but go on some other dates in the meantime. I'd like to hear about some of the eyepopping experiences though! :D

Girlie personally, I wouldn't get in a car with him - you hardly know him, not worth the risk.

I agree with the other posters, hero - an ex coming back on the scene is commonly used as a reasonable way of letting someone down without blame, sometimes it may be true, sometimes not, but either way your getting back in touch is not going to make him realise he's made a huge mistake. If things don't work out with the ex, then he knows where you are, and you can decide then whether you're still interested in being a second choice.

Incidentally, after arranging a third date with UltraFox, she texted me yesterday to say she's got back together with her ex, could we still be friends....

So it's obviously not just men that say it :)

Thank you all for the warm welcome!

Girlie I would follow my gut instinct…. make sure that a friend knows his contact details and where you'll be though...
Hero - a male friend of mine said that most excuses a guy gives why they can't see you again are bs; certain things will bother them but they will not stop them from seeing someone as it would happen to us (ladies)
Super - I always think spark is something that I'll know whether is there straight away, but friends have had that 'growing on me' stuff and ended up having a ltr with the guy…

As for me … well messaged niceguy yesterday early afternoon with a quick 'how's your day going'; he replied straight away and ended up messaging until late last night. Everything going really well but… just logged in and he was online; few seconds later he goes offline. Very annoying…. prob just a coincidence but can't help thinking he logged off so he doesn't have to talk to me. I'm not messaging him again, will let him initiate next.

Bant! I had to use the ex line but it was true! Tall goth I thought would be a friend for life went 'ok, bye' and little Dave Grohl just went bunny boiler :-/

And yeah, don't contact again, buy 'he's just not that into you' the book NOT the rubbish film! And digest it backwards, saves a lot of 'what ifs' and 'maybes'.

As for me, since getting back with my now fiancé (still makes me happy!) I've never been so glad of that lady 'totm', I'm covered in bruises in a good way and my legs won't go back together :-0

Hello all
I've been following all your news... lots going on it seems.
Gaga I was sorry to see it didn't work out with himself but think you handled it perfectly... Hope you've found a suitable distraction?
Stupid your reconciliation sounds lots of fun! hysterical bonding at its best I'd say...
Sorry to hear about ultra Bant... Can be annoying investing the time and effort for it to come to nothing. Incidentally, would you be interested in remaining friends with her?
I'm still seeing pof guy, travelled up to his home town last weekend and had a lovely evening... You'd think after this long I'd have settled down a bit security wise but I'm STILL taking it day to day, almost expecting him to disappear... It happened me before, a 6 month LDR, his very last communication with me was a text telling me he loved me ( for the first time) and that he couldn't wait to see me again..
I never heard from him again! Sooo bizarre, I think that experience has taught me to be constantly on my guard and expecting the worst. Ugh.

Oops I forgot I'd name changed! It's poffedoff here lol.

sadfor - not particularly interested in remaining friends with Ultrafox, no - my reply to her text said so, that I thought she was attractive and interesting, and as I wanted more than friendship I didn't think meeting as just friends would be a good idea, but to let me know how things go and get back in touch in the future if she wanted. So I left the door open, wasn't pissy with her and I won't contact her again myself.

She hadn't dated since she split up with her ex two years ago, I was her first date, she contacted me through OD, and either she was letting me down gently or the first kiss with me made her miss her ex so much she called him or she's playing the sweet trolley game, or some other reason. There's no way to know, so there's not much point my worrying about it.

Onwards and upwards etc etc

Thanks for your advice on my Dating conundrum. I've read He's Just Not Into You too and thus have followed it so far and not contacted him (it's been 4 weeks!). The things that make me want to email him are:

• there was mucho snogging on the night
• he has been viewing my profile since (I like to think mooning over me and kicking himself he burned his bridge)
• even if he wasn't interested in me romantically we definitely got on as friends and I would quite like to see him on that basis alone

Do The Rules apply in this situation?

JustALittleGreen - 2 of my dates unburdened enormous amounts of baggage within an hour of meeting. Really truly terrible things. Things that just made me 1. want to hug them and then 2. run away super-fast. They needed to read a dating handbook asap!

Hmm..myownhero..if there's been 4 weeks with no contact and he's been looking at your profile - a lot or a one off? Then I might message with 'hey! I saw this thing on the telly you liked, a song he mentioned, something funny that happened on your date.'...just a light message to open the door. No asking or anything, just a little comment that you remember him mentioning. I'm probably totally wrong but I'd do that!

Sadformyex I knew it was you Poffed

Hero, yes Ido that what stupid says, if he looking at your profile a lot then maybe he's regretting it but hasn't the balls to contact you. Can't harm can it?

Bant, yes my motto onwards and upwards too

Well a guy I had a date with months ago has been texting me for couple of weeks has now invited me to a wedding Saturday night! Seeing browneyes Friday night so busy weekend !

Hi all, well I have survived my day date and he didn't murder me which was a bonus. In fact had a lovely time a very nice walk (we held hands!) and lunch, he paid again but I did offer and tried to pay but he had it covered somehow. We had a very brief snog outside the pub (classy) and think we are now 'seeing each other'

This is such progress for me, as not got past one date in a really long time!!

Myownhero personally I wouldn't contact him again, I would def take it that 'he is not that into you' and move on.

Girlie- that's sounds like a lovely date. Glad to hear you are still with us

Hero- I'm still in the don't contact him camp. I think if a guy is interested in you he will get onto you. The 'he's just not that into you book' has toughened me right up.

Girliefriend I'm not so keen on being called "babe" either, especially early on, but so many men say it I've decided to let it go over my head if I like them. It does depend though as some use it way too much for my liking.

It's all gone quiet here apart from another 24 hour Saturday/Sunday visit from MrK. Lots of laughs and affection as before, followed by him initiating texts pretty much daily. The only thing I don't like is that I have no idea when we'll meet again, only that he wants to. His job isn't a 9-5 either, and we live nearly 1.5 hours apart, which doesn't help with plans. I like things in my diary to look forward to.

Hey, I dodged a bullet with Mike (OD man 7) who I had provisional plans to meet on the 22nd. He was supposed to get back to me to clarify, which he did...at 2.30pm that day to check it was still on. Bearing in mind it wasn't a definite, we don't exactly live close, and I'm not in a constant state of readiness I declined. He was a bit full on too so I wasn't 100% sure I still wanted to meet. We text for a bit trying to sort it out, but he got confused by it and accused me of being on coke! WTAF! I said obviously things don't always translate well via text and to call me instead which he did. We then had a long chat where he wound me up immensely by interrupting me repeatedly, telling me what I want in life and that even though I say I don't want a serious relationship that I really do (he wants one BTW). We were practically having an argument and we'd not even met, but he was still keen. I text and said he jarred on me and I don't want to meet. He followed with 3 chatty texts which I ignored. He then text the next day with "Hi livid, I don't want u full time I just want gud sex session with u babe that's all no commitment". How can he be so unaware?! And he reckoned he was a really good people person, LOL. I ignored it. 3 days later he text a chatty hello. Clearly he didn't get the message so I text back telling him not to contact me again as I don't want to meet him or hear from him. Just fuck off you thick skinned numpty! It shook me up a little if I'm honest. There are some scary people out there