Just found out my OH is married. Should I tell his wife? How?

[Anniemannie]

I'm 24, and I met my OH after bumping into him a number of places around the city- it started off as sort of a joke but then it was TOO much of a coincidence and he asked me out officially with the line "you're probably already planning to go but would you like to go to X with me next weekend?"

He's great- sexy, clever, compassionate. He's quite a bit older than me but it's never really felt like it, we have a lot in common.

Neither of us have ever said we're looking for something official. I DID trust him with everything but I'm in no rush to get married, I'm not the sort of person to do anything without considering it thoroughly. We've been seeing each other about a year, we've gone away a lot but we spend a lot of time in the city as well so I never had the feeling he was hiding anything. I've met his sister and friends, but was never officially introduced as his OH, but I liked that.

Anyway, I go to a local bar tonight and he's there. With a woman and two teenage daughters who are clearly twins and clearly his, he didn't see me but I watched for 10 minutes and saw all his little touches to his wife's shoulder, pats to her knee, and at one point, a brief kiss on top of her head when he left the table to go to the bar.

I'm shaking. What do I do?

bubalou my first thought on reading that, was to think that your MIL may have assumed that your objection to coke was its caffeine content, and since there is none in lemonade she didn't realise that would be a problem.

I can't believe that was 2 years ago!

I'd ask where the time has gone, but I know I've squandered it all on here.

I would have definitely gone up to the table and said 'Hi' - if it was his wife, I'd have enjoyed watching him squirm while explaining who I was, without letting on we'd be seeing each other, or introducing his ex/sister/friend.

is just like to butt in and say im 21, with two DSs and married (well separated but that's a different thread) .

age is just a number, it's what you do with your years that matters (pure cheese)

Where has OP gone?

Bubalou....only coke? My mil gave my 6 month old dd a 'little taste of champagne' at Xmas.

I shit you not.

9 months of no alcohol during pregnancy, 6 months no booze whilst breast feeding and she dropped done champers into my dd's mouth on Xmas day.

Oi, Lighthouse! I was 19 when I started posting here and I've been single for much of it! :o

Will the difference is that when I was 24 the internet hadn't been invented! Or mobile phones that would fit neatly into a bag. even now if I was in this situation I wouldn't be sat there in the middle of a bar hiding and been on here at the same time. I would leg it out of there!

Anyways I ain't coming on this thread no more. I've already had my wrist slapped. I'll meet you in tv trivia!

mammadiggingdeep

I would be furious!

I was! Can you imagine?!

So furious I just couldn't speak or move...

Part of the reason dd is 3 and a half and mil has never been in sole charge if her.

I'd be livid. Why would a 6m old baby need to have a 'little taste of champagne'

OP are you sure he hasn't a twin brother or brother who looks like him? You need to confront him just in case there is an explanation.

It's a criminal offence to give alcohol to a child under five (even a drop).

Who the heck knows. We popped open a bottle on Xmas day...all toasted and from across the table I saw mil do that. Shocker.

She was breast-fed until 6 months and at that point I hadn't weaned her!!! She'd only ever had milk pass her lips. I was just devastated.

:( god...if I'd have been on MN then I'd have off loaded!!!!!

Auriga-

That doesn't surprise me. Who, in their right mind would do that?????? Who?? Why??? Unreal.

Believe me, I could write a book.

Www.gov.uk/alcohol-young-people-law

There's no fear she'd ever do it again...she doesn't get that close to them for one thing....now ex mother in law I hasten to add. Wasn't over that but let's just say of the mother was that much of an idiot, you can guess what her sons like......

Mamma, you should write that book. If only because your MIL sounds worse than mine

mammadiggingdeep, that's so disgusting and completely bizarre. What did you say/do when you saw your insane MIL do that?

Didn't say a word because I honestly lost the power of speech. Took the baby off of her, went upstairs (was at ex's aunties house), stayed up there for long enough for ex to come up looking for me, and told him I wanted to leave.

He told her afterwards that I was angry and upset. I also have it to her as a reason I wouldn't feel comfortable having her babysit. She thought I was mad. Didn't get it at all.

Mammadiggin- what the fuck? I swear I would have smashed the bottle over her head!

Grunt - it wasn't because of the caffeine. That's very nice of you to maybe think that but my mil is a horrible, sneaky old cow and we had already had the no fizzy conversations numerous times. She just likes to piss me off! I only found out because my ds told me.

mamadiggingdeep- I can too you, my now exMiL gave both my children RED WINE and GIN on various occasions because she the ought their reaction was funny!
when I caught her on I went threw her for a short cut!

Killpeppa - that seems like it borders on child abuse... Gave them alcohol as their reaction was funny

Omg......kill peppa!!! That's even worse than giving a baby champers because its Xmas (I grant you, it's a hard call but think your mil just has the medal for craziest fucked up mil award).

Seriously.....that is a shocker!

Troll ?
OP disappeared?
Quelle surprise.